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Original poster

I think I've just been fired

433 replies

CinnamonVanilla · 17/10/2018 17:05

Boss found out that I applied for a job with our parent company. Supposed to be anonymous; but I'd have said when it was appropriate. Our HR director beat me to it; in front of a lot of people, apparently.

He took me into a room to say that it was humiliating; and means he no longer trusts me, so how do we move forward. He said my work is excellent but this is a big issue.

He's given me some time to think. Presumably he's expecting my notice this evening. I've been here just under two years so there's nothing I can do.

This has made my anxiety rocket and I don't know want to do.

OP posts:
JohnCRaven · 29/10/2018 16:19

But you've done nothing wrong! You've applied for a job in the parent company. Have you heard back about that yet?

Angelf1sh · 29/10/2018 18:18

That would be a terrible exit package in the circumstances. Definitely phone acas and your union if you’re a member. Speak to a solicitor if you can because you deserve so much more.

Original poster
CinnamonVanilla · 29/10/2018 18:29

The final stage of the internal job application is a sort-of "nod" from your current manager; so I doubt it'll go any further. I know that I made it that far.

Discussed settlement with HR. She preferred the grievance option but agreed that it was unlikely to work in this case. She asked me to think about it tonight and confirm with her tomorrow.

My only concern is that she's said I'd have to tell my manager that I want a settlement agreement due to his behaviour; and then sit through a face to face negotiation... I'm going to see if ACAS could maybe help me with that.

HR lady was lovely to be honest. She said she had a duty of care to me and that she could see me disintegrating during the meeting. I'm scared but I'm trying to line up interviews in the evenings... it's hard now that it's so dark.

OP posts:
WeAreSailing · 29/10/2018 18:35

All if this BS because you dare to apply for another job 
Depending on how close to your 2 years you are I'd be seeking a free half hour with an employment lawyer.

Regnamechanger · 29/10/2018 19:15

You shouldn't make any decisions without expert advice. Representation from a union or similar at your next meeting. You are settling too low.

WhyAmISoCold · 29/10/2018 21:52

You really aren't listening OP. You've done nothing wrong, they cannot sack you so sit tight, carry on with your job and look for something else. When it comes up you can give notice. If your manager goes ahead with any of his threats, raise a grievance. He is breaking the law from the sounds of it so HR should be on your side.

WeAreSailing · 29/10/2018 22:11

Exactly what the PP said - an employment tribunal would love this. Sounds like institutionalised bullying and intimidation across the board.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 29/10/2018 22:23

Op, in the nicest possible way: they have no grounds to sack you so why the fuck are you letting them? You can't leave your job just cos your boss has gone in the huff! PLEASE get some impartial real-life advice before you make a huge mistake.

Iaimtomisbehave1 · 29/10/2018 22:24

This is nuts. What are you doing OP?

Stay in your job until you have another one. They cannot dismiss you for this so what are you doing?

Chapellass · 29/10/2018 22:30

Please don't do anything without legal advice - certainly do not agree to settlement for three months! You are over 2 years now so you have a potential claim for constructive dismissal but also other claims in relation to the disability element. Your manager's behaviour is disgraceful.

Have you seen your GP?

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 29/10/2018 22:37

No, don’t let them manage you out.

Sit tight!

WeAreSailing · 29/10/2018 22:39

Exactly what the PP said - an employment tribunal would love this. Sounds like institutionalised bullying and intimidation across the board.

Solenti · 29/10/2018 22:42

ACAS will take over negotiation for you, especially in circumstances like this where you have been effectively bullied out of your job. When they helped me, I never spoke to my boss again (who was a nasty piece of work and bullied me out of my job because I knew far too much about his conning of customers and who wouldn't give me pay slips). In the circumstance you have gone beyond being able to have a discussion with him -his actions are unreasonable and he would be in big trouble at a tribunal. You don't have to meet with him again. ACAS act as a go between and provide neutral advice and will advise him of his legal responsibilities - and one of those I 100% guarantee is that he can't sack you or threaten performance managements because you applied for another job. You need professional advice. The HR might well be lovely, but she hasn't provided you with accurate information. Upsetting him shouldn't be an issue. Please please listen and don't settle for some shitty offer and leave a job you are good at for no reason. He CAN'T sack you for this. He CAN'T performance manage out a colleague who has no performance issues (as he admitted). Don't damage your future career by letting this prick bully you out.

Belleende · 30/10/2018 07:34

What solenti said.

Original poster
CinnamonVanilla · 30/10/2018 09:07

Thanks all. I've read what you said. I'm struggling with what to do massively - my disability is bipolar; which may explain that somewhat. It is massively flaring and I'm falling apart.

I'll call ACAS again this morning. I don't want to leave but equally I don't think there's a way back for our working relationship from here. I'm a wreck. It would be infinitely better for my mental health to walk away but I'm massively worried about what I'd do for money.

I'll do my best at sitting tight. Would asking to work from home later to try and soothe the bipolar somewhat be an awful idea?

OP posts:
Temporaryanonymity · 30/10/2018 09:18

Sometimes posting on MN doesn't really help. Individually you have been given some great advice on here but I think perspective has been lost.

Let's go back to the actions of the HRD. unprofessional, perhaps, but in every organisation I've worked in there has been a policy that states applications for internal roles must be made following discussion with the current line manager.

Current line manager; well, he is acting like a massive dick. But before jumping to a settlement you really ought to try and resolve things first. What was your relationship like before? Has he form for acting like a massive toddler? If so I can see why this incident might be the last in a long line of actions that might justify settling.

I know you have disclosed bipolar; is this really the time to be making decisions? How will you feel about this in a month? Will you regret moving on? Is another job easy to find?

Some of this sounds blown out of all proportion (on both sides) and some outside intervention would probably help. I think you run this risk here of becoming a problem to be managed. Can you arrange a meeting with his line manager again?

Original poster
CinnamonVanilla · 30/10/2018 09:45

Thanks temporary.

There's no policy here about telling your manager about internal applications; but I have apologised and in hindsight I would probably tell my manager next time.

My manager is a bit of a knob 75% of the time; and really nice 25%. When I've had not mental health related issues; he's been great. My first year had a personal issue and he was excellent then. I don't want to make this too outing but there was a bit of a clash in responsibilities between me and another person (contractually it belongs to me and I want to do it; but they used to before I started) and I asked if we could clarify it so we both knew where we stood; as things got hostile. My manager did not want to. Eventually I had to tell him that the constant conflict was affecting my bipolar and he came up with a plan but didn't enforce it. Since then he has alternated between hot and cold; which has been hard but I was coping with.

Until he found out about the job application; shouted and has now threatened to put me on a performance plan with points that I'd struggle to meet whilst fighting a flare up; which he knows. They've come from nowhere; they've never been mentioned before. He's emailed this morning that he's also going to change my role to take one half of my job away from me; and move the thing that I wanted to do (from up there ^) to someone else, although I can "feed back ideas". It will leave me with about 30% of the job that I'm contracted to do; no budget and reduce me to no direct reports. At the moment half my job involves a small team.

I don't know if there's a way I can realistically stay but equally; I don't know if my condition is clouding that. I'm good at what I do, normally. I've never had Work trouble before. I think a grievance might make this unbearable. I am holding back tears; I feel sick, I want to run. I haven't slept for longer than an hour in days.

OP posts:
Alaaya · 30/10/2018 09:50

Oh god. OK, I've got bipolar too and this sounds totally unmanageable. However, I have quit jobs while in this state and really regretted it when other stuff hasn't come up quickly.

Please do talk to ACAS or someone. Now is 100% the time when you need an advocate. Are you in a union? Mine were bloody brilliant when my work were being useless with my disability. And do take care of yourself. The sleep going to shit is a really bad sign and you don't want this to slide into a full blown episode.

OliviaBenson · 30/10/2018 10:14

I don't think they can just change your role substantially without your agreement- ask ACAS. He's trying to punish you here which could amount to bullying.

WeAreSailing · 30/10/2018 11:04

All the more reason to get ACAS involved - you really need an advocate.

Original poster
CinnamonVanilla · 30/10/2018 11:47

My manager wants to speak to me at 4:30. Rather scared.

I'll call ACAS again at lunch and see if they can advocate for me while I'm still here. I got the impression yesterday that I needed to stay at home for them to take over; but I could have misunderstood, I was quite upset.

OP posts:
WipsGlitter · 30/10/2018 11:54

Even if you can't contact acas I'd ask HR to be present.

overnightangel · 30/10/2018 11:55

Don’t go into the meeting alone , do you not have a Union Rep ??

rainbowquack · 30/10/2018 11:55

I would also ask HR to be present

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 30/10/2018 12:12

Email him back and get him to clarify the purpose of the meeting, ie ask specifically for an agenda. Then check your company's policy about taking a union rep or colleague into the meeting. If you're allowed to do so, postpone the meeting on the basis that you don't have time to arrange an advocate. CC HR into all this.

One step at a time.

If you do take the meeting on your own, don't speak. Let him say what he needs to say, then ask him to clarify all his points in writing. You need a paper trail that he is basically removing parts of your job for no reason. Then check your company's managing performance policy and take it from there.

I think you're going to have to raise a grievance though. I can't see anyway that this is going to be resolved informally.

Remember HR hate grievances - they will advise you to settle things informally/just leave because that's easier for them! You need to be strong and insist process is folllowed.