Posting in Chat so this disappears eventually.
I’m almost sure I’m not BU, but I’d appreciate a sounding board before I compose a strongly worded message!
My new flatmate moved in 3 weeks ago. When I’d met her I saw no red flags - on paper she lives a similar lifestyle to me, we clicked straight away, she’s chatty etc. But within a couple of days, something in my gut just said it wasn’t quite right. On the first morning, she quite loudly knocked on my door and opened it (I was asleep) and asked to borrow a comb. I got up and found her one. 5 mins later, she wants to borrow my toothpaste. And then my hairdryer. Fine, she’s just moved in, but she’s come from another flat share so surely she had these things before?
That evening she baked chicken in so much BBQ sauce I must have burnt a week’s worth of calories scrubbing the dish (which was left on the side, not even soaking). I’m a vegetarian and she hadn’t done much to clean up the raw chicken-y mess from her meal prep: there were chunks attached to the chopping board which she’d put straight into the dishwasher.
A couple of other things:
- I was away for the weekend and she had come into my room, taken my hairdryer again and not returned it
- She’s taken one of the sofa scatter cushions for her bed - I didn’t know this until I went in to try and find the kitchen scissors when she was out. The kitchen scissors have turned up this evening after I asked, as they had fallen (?) into her handbag...
All of this is irritating but not a dealbreaker. Until this evening... as I got in from work she asked if she could ask me a ‘strange’ question. Sure, fire away. She very gingerly and awkwardly began to imply she’d invited a bloke over next weekend. I laughed and said ‘don’t worry!’ - it wouldn’t bother me at all. But then she came out with: ‘so would you mind if i paid for you to get a hotel for the weekend?’
I laughed awkwardly and muttered something about keeping out of their hair and that I’m a heavy sleeper so it wouldn’t be necessary, but I feel a) completely baffled and b) like I need to send her a carefully crafted message just making clear that this is my home and I found it odd. One friend’s theory is that she wants the bloke to believe it’s her own flat. Another thinks she’s got weird fetishes 
I just think it’s really fucking cheeky and has kind of heightened all my irritation about the other things to the point I feel kind of uncomfortable and like I don’t want to be here! Any tips on what to say in my message would be appreciated - I want to give her a chance and I don’t want to be heavy handed, but I feel I need her to realise that it was a completely bonkers and disrespectful thing to suggest. 