How long did you have off work after losing a parent?

[MrsCipo]

Just that really. And how were your work about you taking the time off? Supportive or did they put a time limit on how soon you should be "ok" again?

I already had my notice in, so I rang work and told them I wasn't coming back. They added a week's compassionate leave to my accrued holiday pay, which they didn't have to do. I went back on agency work 3 weeks later. This was probably too early; I dragged an ops clerk across the desk for bad manners on my second day.

We get a weeks compassionate leave. I took two weeks, I and not sure how my second week was recorded, think it may have been off book and just covered by colleagues.

I am a SAHM so no "time off" as such, my hubby took 2 weeks with me . I am still nowhere near emotionally dealing with it, I think I may need to speak to someone professionally. My mum was my best mate, everyday I must think "tell mum " 50 times, it effects every aspect of my life. All she ever wanted was to be a nana, and life is so cruel she only had 5 months with my DS.

I still cry every day ( it happened in March) as she would be so proud and without my DS, I don't know how/ if I would cope at all

I think you have all done amazing to go back to your jobs, it must be so hard, I couldn't even guess how long I would have needed.

3 weeks. It was too soon to go back but I’d just returned from Mat Leave and felt I had to.

I took 3 weeks off when my Dad died. Partly cos I was abroad and also had to look after disabled step mum as well as organise funeral and house and international stuff etc. Worked harder than ever have those three weeks. Don’t think I grieved properly and had/have some ptsd type lingering problems a year later due to circs around his death etc etc. Wish I had come back and taken time but felt right to get back to work. As pp, I too am dreading my ma going and fear I will be a bit of a mess for some time. Luckily self- employed (although that’s mixed as don’t have any paid leave to draw on). Hey ho !

Oh bourbonbiccy I do feel for you. Lovely she did have time with your dc. It’s really hard and good for you for thinking about getting some help. It can be hugely helpful. All the best.

Four days when my Mum died, and about three weeks when Dad died, as there was more to sort out, clearing the house etc.

I was under a bit of pressure to return earlier after Dad, but there was only me to do everything, and that was how long it took.

fadingfast
You former employer sounds very kind and considerate.

*your

Yes they were amazing and I was (am) so grateful at a time of great distress.

This thread shows the need for an actual government set bereavement leve

5 days - that's all we are allowed in our NHS organisation.

No time off. Military, on active service. All leave refused.

I think it depends on the circumstances. Dad had cancer and a lot of the unbearable grieving happened before he died. I had been on holiday visting just before his death, went back to work for a week knowing he had days to live then took a week off to go home to the funeral. I could have had that week between off as unpaid leave but DH had to go to work, we had 2DC under 3 and I couldn't face being solely in charge of them and being in Mum and Dads house supporting Mum in her grief. The stress of everything was really affecting the kids and that week back at home allowed them some normality before we went back for the funeral. Once Dad died it was a lot easier bizarrely.

I've managed people who've dealt with a parents terminal cancer and they've had a similar experience, the run up to the death is worse than the aftermath. Sudden deaths are very different.

Oh, and as a company the official policy is 2 days but in reality people get as long as they need including a phased return. I've known people have a couple of months off. GPs are always happy to write sicknotes in these circumstances anyway.

I left my job knowing my df wasn’t going to last. I was stressed at work and fed up. Dh was fine with this as we had savings (well I had savings), so stopped working. Df passed away 2 months later. My dB took about a month off work. His work were very understanding, and gave him compassionate leave when df ended up in hospital.

Love your username op 👠

Sudden death. Took a week paid compassionate leave. Returned to work for a fortnight. Took two weeks unpaid leave. It was not enough and I was severely affected for around two years. I wonder if I had taken a proper block of paid sick leave at the time if I would have recovered quicker.

@Lardlizard there is de facto one week paid as sick leave, because anyone can self certify for a week. I think that's reasonable.

GPs are always happy to write sicknotes in these circumstances anyway

Not true. Most of these requests that I get are so the person can sort out the admin related to the estate, so a sick note would be fraudulent.

I only took one day but I worked part-time and had also had power of attorney so it was easy to sort things out. I then took another day for the funeral. At the time my boss said she was surprised that I hadn't wanted 2-3 weeks off, but I didn't need it. It would be different if my mother died, and I also work full-time now so wouldn't be able to fit in organisng things around work in the same way.

I had just started a week's holiday when my mother died so I took that week and then went back to work. I found it helpful to have something to occupy me