Wife name forgotten in title

[musicislife]

Does anyone else find it really backward that in the 21st century a married couple should be addressed as ‘Mr and Mrs Frederick John X’, which makes it sound as if the wife is barely an after thought, being blessed as she is with a mere three letters in the whole title?

”CherryPavlova I don’t mind if the couple sending out the invite uses Mr and Mrs James Pavlova (great names!) but I would grit my teeth if they assumed I was happy to be addressed the same way on the invitation.”

Exactly. Cherry can choose to call herself James if she likes, but in 2018 shouldn’t assume female invitee Sarah would like to be called Jonathan.

I met my DH at 30. I was a successful business woman with my own home. Professionally I am my first name, last name. I was thrilled to marry my husband no doubts whatsoever about him or his miral compass etc. If I'd had a doubt I would not have married him. I still like being Mrs His name. But it happens less and less now except on formal invitations or being announced at a very formal function.

Times are changing and practices are changing. But I don't think it's a massive issue to get het up about and prob ably it will change entirely soon. However many of the people who use it still are elderly and are doing what they were brought up to do whilst being kind enough to send invitations, cards and gifts. I'd be pleased to have the thought and discount what is becoming quaint even though it is still in use. Far ruder I think to pull up an aunt or such like than for the aunt to think of you and do what she was taught was right.

It's funny OhTheRoses, you make a massive fuss about what you view as inappropriate use of names and titles in one context (medical): I have seen you crowbar it into oodles of threads where it's only tangentially related to the issue. But then whenever this particular topic comes up, so often you post saying that it's not a big deal for a woman to be addressed by a name she doesn't use and has never given anyone any reason to think she would. Your double standards are showing.

I'm not sure what you are extrapolating Paul. I expect a Dr to address me as Mrs first name, last name or just Mrs Lastname. Not as Mrs DH's first name last name.

I think you have missed the point about treating other humans as equals and with courtesy. It is rude to address another as a subordinate. It is rude to pick up someone on an eŕror when they are being kind.

There's zero extrapolation. You think it's fine for you to make a fuss over use of names and titles you don't like, but you suggest it's not a problem when someone else has a problem with being addressed in a manner they don't like. This is literally what you have written, on this thread and on others.

And really, the stuff about kindness and respect is no more than your assumptions: it's more than possible for a clinician to address you by your first name without intending any disrespect, and plenty of people continue to refer to a married woman as Mrs HusbandsFirstname Husbandssecondname when they have no reason to think it's appropriate or wanted.

If somebody expects me to use their title I expect them to use mine. It is very simple. I don't mind if someone addresses an envelope Mr and Mrs John Smith or Susan and John Smith. I would mind if Mr Jones the baker called me Susan and I wouldn't dream of asking Sandra my hairdresser to call me Mrs Jones

You wanting to be called by your preferred form of address is fine. It's the fact that you take every opportunity to tell other people who want to be called by theirs, rather than Mrs Husbandsfirstname Husbandssecondname, that it's not a big deal and doesn't matter much. Just like you have in this thread.

As I said, your double standards are showing.