Highly Sensitive People

[MuseumofInnocence]

I've come across people coming across "Highly Sensitive People", and I understand there was a book written about this by Elaine Aron. However, my skeptical side makes me wonder if it's the kind of thing that is often self-diagnosed, and seems to me a way of saying "I'm special".

Does anyone have experience with it and people who claim it?

I am a HSP but there's no way I'd tell anyone in real life!

I did recognise another HSP at a party once and talked to her about it - she hadn't heard of the book/concept but seemed relieved that someone else understood some of the things she was saying..

That's right up there with people telling me they are an indigo child.
I nod, and back away.

I once attended a talk on this and the essence from the speaker was pretty much "I'm special and you need to treat me that way" yes

My friend ended up getting dirty looks for repeatedly pointing out that none of what she said was exclusive to her or a certain "type" of person and that everybody can relate to what she was saying for specific scenarios

HSP is most definitely a real thing. However, it is almost impossible for non HSPs to comprehend.

Thanks, I'm interested. I definitely am seeing it in the few cases that I know as a desire to be seen as special, but I also appreciate that there is some literature on it.

I tick the vast majority of HSP boxes and I still think it's a made up label for people desirous to be singled out and treated differently - something I strive to avoid

I tick a lot of the boxes, it's been useful for me to understand the way I react the way I do to certain things. I don't tell anyone though, and I'm certainly not special.

I just googled this and this is the first website that came up.

FFS those are just normal feelings that any sane human being can and does feel.

Don't most people 'tick a lot of the boxes' ?

Hmm, I think a lot of those boxes are ASD type boxes. I tick the majority of them but i'm pretty normal whatever DH says.

I think my ex was, she labelled herself as such. I should add that she wasn't hard work with it, she just said it explained facets of her personality. If she got overly upset it was never in a drama queen or attention seeking way (and I know she only discussed this with me and one or two close and trusted friends - she had no desire to wear a badge declaring it.)

Honestly I think that by and large it made her a very beautiful person - artistic and soulful. If it meant handling with a little more care then so be it - she made people around her happy and was inspiring.

The label might seem tedious to some but when she found this 'explanation' she was able to steel herself against it more, in a way. Find her strength. She's flourished in the last few years and despite it being none of my business by this point, I was so happy to meet her new boyfriend and see that he seemed to be someone who would understand and support her.

That all said, I agree it's more just 'a type of person' than a condition, if that makes sense.

To be honest, I think it has a lot of overlap with the profile of ASD in women, and sensory processing disorder. I wouldn't be surprised if it's simply a less scary-sounding "label" (for want of a better word) for a similar or the same thing, for people who were not diagnosed in childhood or who have a mild enough version it doesn't cause them significant problems. As there's no treatment for SPD or ASD, that doesn't do any harm in my book if it helps people in that position to feel heard, understood and not alone.

I think I am. I felt such an enormous sense of relief when I heard this term. I can have mental tussles with myself that can me feel like I have had a physical fight with Mike Tyson. I have a light very emotional trigger. I feel that if I can gain insight into what makes me lose control, I can attempt to control it iyswim.

But like a pp, no-one (other than dh and he only gets a glimpse) knows. I suspect that most people think I am organised and together. I don't think i am "special", but actually isolate myself.

If someone relates to a way of explaining their behaviour and mental processes, it doesn't necessarily mean they are attention seeking. It could be that they have found something that helps them.

Of course it's bollocks. How could it not be? It's people assuming that they know how other people feel and that their feelz are bigger than other people's.

There are many highly sensitive people, but anyone who thinks that they are a Highly Sensitive Person (with capitals and everything, different to all the other less sensitive people who are merely highly sensitive) is just claiming to be special.

If it wasn't bollocks it would be a recognised diagnosis. I don't doubt that many 'Highly Sensitive People' do have various conditions (anxiety, ASD, ADHD etc.) but that is a different matter.

And the poster who said that 'HSP' is real but almost impossible for 'non HSPs' to comprehend - how do you know? How do you know how other people feel? How do you know they are not even more 'sensitive' than you but express it differently?

(I know this sounds callous. Blame my huge number of highly insensitive anxiety disorders).

I’d say they apply to one of my children much more than the other two, so I wouldn’t say most people can tick most of them.

@badtime

Of course it's bollocks.

This.

hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/
I just did this test. Over 14 means you're probably a Highly Sensitive Person. I got 24.

I am pretty sensitive, but I am not Sensitive.

badtime - how can one know? Experience. You compare yourself to others and observe that they enjoy experiences that you find intolerable.

But all that means is that you like different things. It doesn't mean one is 'Highly Sensitive' and the other isn't.

No it doesn’t. If you are in a group (at school or university,say) for many years, you can consistently observe that there are significant differences in the quantity of activities with sensory overload that people can tolerate. They aren’t random differences.

I think it's quite obvious that a lot of the time it's undiagnosed high-functioning ASD or ADHD.

(I say high functioning but I mean that in the broadest sense and don't for a second dismiss the very real ways being neurodiverse can cause a clusterfuck of distress and chaos, even when you have a HF label.)

I didn't say they were random. I said that you couldn't assume that it was linked to some concept of 'sensitivity'.

Perhaps you missed where I pointed out that I rate very highly for being Highly Sensitive. I totally understand what you mean, but it's not a condition, it's a personality.

(To be honest, this is just one of those things I find irritating like when people who write or draw consider themselves 'creative', but wouldn't acknowledge that someone who codes could be, because it's the 'wrong sort' of creativity)

It’s a condition because you are born with it and you cannot educate yourself out of it.

By that definition, blue eyes are a condition.