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Original poster

Highly Sensitive People

109 replies

MuseumofInnocence · 04/10/2018 11:07

I've come across people coming across "Highly Sensitive People", and I understand there was a book written about this by Elaine Aron. However, my skeptical side makes me wonder if it's the kind of thing that is often self-diagnosed, and seems to me a way of saying "I'm special".

Does anyone have experience with it and people who claim it?

OP posts:
user1499173618 · 04/10/2018 12:26

Yes

FaFoutis · 04/10/2018 12:26

I agree with you OP.
I got 24 on that test. I'm fucked up rather than special.
Saying you are Highly Sensitive is almost a way of denying other people have feelings by claiming that you have more feelings than them. In reality you don't always know how others feel, particularly if you are so focused on yourself.

AbsentmindedWoman · 04/10/2018 12:26

I thought the woman who coined the term said it was a personality type, not a condition? Confused

Swathes of women especially fall through the net for diagnosis for ASD for example. Then there are going to be tons who have distinct traits but not enough for a diagnosis, but would be on an axis for neurodiversity.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health
user1499173618 · 04/10/2018 12:26

They are one component of a phototype, which is a condition

3WildOnes · 04/10/2018 12:26

I’m not a hsp but I would say one of my children is, as is my mother. I think it is real.

mummyhaschangedhername · 04/10/2018 12:27

We are all very different, with different Personalities and experiences. I don't see how it's bollocks that someone is highly sensitive. Saying that, the idea do highly sensitive people and empaths seems to be in tread right now and it's seems half my Facebook is a highly sensitive person or/and an empath.

Can can feel other people's feelings, and I'm quite a sensitive person. It does make sense when I have read these things, but it's just part of my personality rather than some people ability to even a disability that others seem to portray it as.

I am also hard of hearing, so I have learnt to read body language as I am often in a situation where I have no idea what the person is saying and I have to respond appropriately without the narrative. I'm actually quite skilled at it now 😂, not sure which came first though although I have always been know to be an excellent judge of character although I'm not sure that really falls under those categories.

I guess a few years back everyone was taking type a or b Personalities and this is a tiger aspect, it's doesn't really mean anything though and certainly no one should expect special treatment for it.

PawneeParksDept · 04/10/2018 12:33

I got 13 which makes me not HSP but on the threshold which sort of proves my point

I totally agree with the PP who said it's a way of saying your feelings are more important and more valuable than someone else's.

badtime · 04/10/2018 12:33

user All the descriptions read like some combination of ASD, social anxiety and/or a basically introverted personality. The first two are conditions, the third isn't (even though you are, as a rule, born with your basic personality and cannot educate your way out of it).

mummyhas, I didn't say it was bollocks that people are highly sensitive, I said that it is bollocks that people are 'Highly Sensitive', which to me seems to be saying some sorts of sensitivity are better than others.

user1499173618 · 04/10/2018 12:36

It Is perfectly possible to be HSP and and have no ASD, no social anxiety and to enjoy the company of others (albeit in a calm setting).

Original poster
MuseumofInnocence · 04/10/2018 12:41

I'm not sensitive at all (I got 8 on the test), but what I noticed is that the test seems to be about reaction to stimuli, noises, tastes, etc, and a tiny bit about whether other's people's moods affect you (who isn't affected if someone you are with, but they're grumpy).

However, my friend who claims HSP seems to only really stress the positive (I see and feel more than other people, and I can sense how people feel deep down). This isn't what the test seems to be about, and it's that aspect that makes me suspect at least my friend's experience with HSP is a bit nonsense. PS, of course her 4 year old DS is also HSP

OP posts:
AbsentmindedWoman · 04/10/2018 12:44

@User, I'm curious then - how would you be a HSP and have no traits of ASD, ADHD, sensory processing issues or social anxiety?

How would it manifest?

I suspect it's a matter of semantics.

user1499173618 · 04/10/2018 12:48

The most straightforward way of thinking about HSP is that it implies that the person reaches sensory overload much more quickly than most people under the same stimulus. Noise, crowds, light, temperature extremes... HSPs get fed up very fast and need more quiet time to recover. That doesn’t mean they don’t like company and are introverted.

Stripybeachbag · 04/10/2018 12:52

I totally agree with the PP who said it's a way of saying your feelings are more important and more valuable than someone else's.

Saying you are Highly Sensitive is almost a way of denying other people have feelings by claiming that you have more feelings than them.

I don't get this logic.

If someone says that their feelings cause them high mental distress, it doesn't mean that others feelings are lesser or negated. There isn't a certain amount of feelings in the world that has to be shared out equally. One person gets more at the expense of another.

Also it takes a pretty self-absorbed person to assume that that because another is upset then their feelings aren't being considered.

Wasn't there another thread recently about decreasing empathy?

badtime · 04/10/2018 12:55

Stripy, it's the implication that other people are not highly sensitive, rather than they may just be sensitive in a different way.

AutoFilled · 04/10/2018 12:55

My DH is and my DC1 is too. It’s not a way to say they are special. But it helped DH to understand some of his childhood difficulties. And a way for me to understand DC1.

PawneeParksDept · 04/10/2018 12:58

I have a lot of empathy and I'm on the HSP threshold - it's not the concept that some people are more empathetic that I reject but the giving it a title/label/diagnosis and the idea that other people must make a reasonable adjustment for it.

I have an actual disability myself. It's not a disability. And pathologising style terms makes it one.

Some people are more empathetic than others. Welcome to the human condition.

user1499173618 · 04/10/2018 12:58

I know someone who is most definitely not HSP. She absolutely loves parties and will tell other members of her family, who are HSP and do not want to accompany her to as many parties as she would like, that they are not sensitive to her need to attend parties. Is that an example of what you mean, badtime?

badtime · 04/10/2018 13:04

Why the hell would I mean that?

As I pointed out upthread, if 'HSP' was real, I would totally be one. I just mean that I don't assume that other people are not 'highly sensitive' just because they like different things from me.

user1499173618 · 04/10/2018 13:05

Why are you so aggressive? I’m just trying to understand where you are coming from.

badtime · 04/10/2018 13:07

I have been very clear with what I mean.

user1499173618 · 04/10/2018 13:08

You aren’t clear.

vaclavscat · 04/10/2018 13:22

I would class myself as an HSP. I was recommened that book by my neurologist and I found it really helpful in understanding myself better and in creating healthy boundries in my life. Everyone is of course sensitive but some more than other just as some people are tougher and more adventurous. In my case I have a neurologicial illness which overlaps with and intensifies my basic "sensitive" temperament / physiology.

I read the book and related to it very much so I don't think its just a made up thing to make yourself out to be special or different especially as I don't think its rare to be an HSP. It is probably not useful or endearing to go around calling yourself an hsp but you can take the advice from the book and apply it quite easily without defining yourself so litereally to those you meet.

FissionChips · 04/10/2018 13:22

I tick almost all the boxes for HSP but I wouldn’t say I’m highly sentitive at all.
Seems a nonsense to me.

vaclavscat · 04/10/2018 13:24

I'd also say that the book isn't just about "emotional" sensitiveity although that is part of it but also about general sensitivity to all sorts of stimulation.

user1499173618 · 04/10/2018 13:31

I agree, vacslavcat. HSP is firstly and foremostly about understanding why one hates things other people love: nightclubs, crowds, large celebrations, fun fairs...

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