So, weddings...

[MrsWembley]

Short or long?

Discussing timings with a couple of friends yesterday, both of whom have had their day and so have an opinion that counts - one says long, make the most of it, big party of people who will never/probably never be all together in the same room again; the other says meh, long lie-in, least time possible in an uncomfortable dress, no paying extra for evening food!

Is 12 hours from the start of the service to kicking out time too long/not long enough/just right. Service is in the same venue as the reception, so no travel time, and the venue is a place of 'entertainment' for families under normal circumstances so lots to see and do for people whilst photos, etc. are happening.

I'm worried that people may get bored/pissed/cross with grumpy DCs, but I want to have as long as possible because, well, it's my wedding day! What's the general consensus here? Long or short?

We got married at 2pm. Photos afterwards for an hour or so at reception venue so anyone not needed could go have a drink.

Buffet served around 5.30 and replenished throughout evening.

No long speeches. No formal anything.

We married at 12. Done and dusted by 6pm. No evening do. Lots of people with kids, some kids invited and some not, but everyone could get home for bedtime. No expense on hotels. No hanging around for a couple of hours in the middle. Perfect.

If you have drinks and capapes people can wait for dinner.. 12 is super early I think 13.00 would be a lot better-
For you too!
I don't think you've given yourself enough time for 3 courses, id add on another half hour, don't forgot normally when the top table finishes their food some other tables haven't started yet

Oh wow just seen your venue is a zoo!!!! Amazing!

As long as there's booze and food people are happy- I was an hour late as I had an absolute nightmare wedding morning- we opened the free bar early and everyone was happy... except the registrar!

Sounds amazing having it at the zoo, I would come prepared with alternative shoes so I could look round. I'd keep the second gap but shorten the first and keep providing drink in the second gap!

I agree cut the earlier length of time.

After the meal would be lovely to go for a stroll and chill a bit. I quite like weddings with a gap before the night do personally and looking around the zoo sounds fabulous.

Personally I'd hate a 2.5 hour break to wander round a zoo. It just wouldn't appeal at all. Not everyone is going to love the prospect. Is there an option for people who wouldn't fancy that aspect

I like the idea of walking around the zoo when no one else is there, but do you have a plan for people who don’t want to, or for if it’s raining? I’m just thinking about our local zoo - near the wedding function room is an indoor arachnids and reptiles area, but then it’s a fair old walk outdoors to anything else. Plus things like the birds and elephants which are really interesting normally are mostly only visible during demonstrations which wouldn’t be happening after hours. Weddings can be exhausting and days at the zoo can be exhausting, I don’t know if I’d have the energy to wander round a zoo for 2.5 hours after 5 hours of wedding stuff, and then want to go into a disco with music and dancing. Does there need to be a set time for the zoo wandering? Could you push the whole thing back a bit and do your photos at zoo closing time, and give your guests the option to have a look around, rather than making them stand around for 2 hours and then send them off for a walk for another 2 hours?

At our wedding, granted we had it in the garden, we didn’t have a formal structure of ‘you have to be doing X at Y time’ so after the initial mingling and food, people dispersed into different areas. So some parents and children went in the pool, some people went for a wander around, others went and found a shady spot to sit etc. Then DH and I were able to circulate and chat to smaller groups of people rather than just saying the polite hellos and seeing everyone from a distance from the top table (or shouting into ears over music later on). The music started much later than 7.30 (probably whenever it got dark in the middle of summer, 9.30/10pm?) so it was really nice to be able to chat to guests properly and casually.

For everyone who's asked about options for people who aren't fussed about the zoo, of course the area where we're eating and the bar area will be available and no one is being made to walk around.

I'm definitely thinking now of moving the service to 2ish.

@MrsWembley And if it pisses down with rain (hopefully it won't, but....) is there stuff to do for those 2.5 hours?

Good plan - also be really clear with your guests on the itinerary for the day so that they know what to expect particularly regarding food timings. You might want to suggest they eat lunch before arriving and suggest somewhere suitable local to the venue to avoid any confusion or doubt, this is especially useful for those with young kids/babies. A zoo wedding sounds lovely - do you get to have photos with any animals as part of the package?

Why are people thinking drop the first break rather than the later one, surely bride wants photos taken before the meal rather than after?

Which also means hats and ties can be removed asap also means stress is off trying to keep kids pristine during the meal.

Because the second break is when the zoo is closed to the public making it a more special experience.

I missed that bit. In that case I'd maybe go for 2x1hr slots rather than 2x2hr. I'd still want pictures after the service. 4hrs wandering a zoo is not something that I'd want to do in my best gear.

Later wedding every single time. 12 hours is way too long and guests will be bored even with a zoo for entertainment.

For all those saying nobody complained about their wedding "lulls" - why would anybody tell the bride that their wedding was boring? They were being polite.

OP this is the sensible way, you sound like you are listening!

Avoiding, I'm still having the reception/drinks/canapés after the service, people can wander then whilst we're doing the photos - I just need to talk to my photographer about how long she thinks she'll need. Less than the two hours the venue people think, apparently!

Shatners, there's lots of indoor stuff and, to be frank, a damn site more to do than in, say, a hotel!

Our wedding was 12 hours from start of church service to end of reception.
Ours was approx a 45 min drive for the majority of guests and we supplemented the cost of the rooms at the venue and offered them to some guests.

1-2 - church service
2-3.30 - cocktails, canapés, photos
3.30 - 6 - 2 courses (starters and mains) then speeches (2)
6 - dessert buffet served, time to check in rooms, mingle
7.30 - first dance followed by live band and DJ
9 - evening food served (hog roast, wedges, salads)

There was no kicking out time officially as there would be someone serving those staying at the venue as long as there were guests still up!

During the reception we had a photo booth, we had a chill out area for the kids with colouring books, kids books and small toys. We also had garden games outside for kids (and drunk big kids!)

Depends on your personality to be honest. I am very introverted and have never managed to stay past 9 at a wedding. For our wedding we had ceremony at 11 and everything was wrapped up by 4. It was amazing!

I would be a little cheesed off at "wandering round the venue" for two and a half hours, if I'm honest. If I lived close by, I would probably go home and possibly never come back!

Looking at your timings there is way too much hanging around. I get that it's at a zoo so things to do but people will be in heels etc and what if it rains? Lots of the enclosures are outside. I would far rather have less time at the wedding and come back to the zoo on another day when I am suitably attired, have everything I need for a fun day out etc.

as a general point ( not necessarily the op) do remember that guests may not want to pay £200 a night for a hotel and so may be in the nearest Premier inn. think about that with timings.

Special, can you elaborate?

Not sure if this is what special means, but some guests travelled 4 hours in the morning of a recent wedding I went to. They had nowhere to change etc (and it was a hot hot day) as they couldn't check in to their hotels until 2.

I wouldn't want to wander round a zoo when I was at a wedding, could you invite them all to the zoo the day after instead and book a hall or something for your actual wedding? Probably not if you've booked etc but just in case the zoo isn't set in stone.

Ok so while you are getting photos done your guests get to wander. I would cut the second wandering slot to 1hr.

Last year we were are two weddings that were at 1pm By the time 10pm came round people were flagging and starting to leave.

Even for a 2pm wedding you'll be thinking wanting car collecting you back of 1 (assuming distance to venue).
Get into dress 12.30
Lite lunch / sandwich 12.00
Make up 10.30 - allowing 1.30 mins
Hair 9.00 - 1.30 mins
Alarm clock set for 8 to give you time for breakfast/ shower.

Think even earlier if you have 1 hairdresser and 1 makeup person doing multiple people ie your mum, bridesmaids, children.
Thats the sort of hidden busy time that goes with weddings.