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Original poster

Favourite Royle Family quotes or scenes

154 replies

MakeYourOwnFuckingTea · 14/09/2018 21:56

Saw on Facebook that its now 20 years old! Shock
I adore it and watch it over and over. Even the missing episode from series 3 where they leave baby David with Anthony so they can go boozing. Plus all the specials including the brilliant Queen of Sheba.

Dad! Your flies are undone!

Jim Royle: Ah, the cage might be open, but the beast is asleep.

Barbara Royle: Beast my arse!

OP posts:
MrsPear · 15/09/2018 12:56

We are southern working class but as a family we agreed it was the most realistic sitcom. It was just so right. We could all see ourselves especially with the pants drying on the front room radiator Grin and dad announcing trips to the loo with the paper. For those who don’t understand it is a one loo household and dad takes a while so better nip in quick before him. Mine use to take his fags too sometimes ....

Off to check Netflix

Daisywho · 15/09/2018 13:11

Best thread ever.

Also love the characters we never see. Beverley Macca, Leggings Lorraine from over the road, Elsie, Big Julie from Argos, Duckers..!

“Oh cheers, so now Duckers knows about the baby before me own nana?!” always cracks me up for some reason.

And the really really old school series one episodes are just amazing.

Twiggy coming round to sell jeans to them all. “Tell you what Cheryl, seeing as you’re my favourite customer, i’ll chuck in a box of panty pads.”Grin

Original poster
MakeYourOwnFuckingTea · 15/09/2018 13:13

Yep. Pants/tights on the radiator. That was us too.
Jim going through the phone bill with a fine tooth comb was my step dad. Even my mum would hide the bill if she saw it before him.
Whinging about lights being left on and doors open.
I was the Anthony in our household and picked on in a similar way by my step dad. Even so it still makes me laugh.

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YouGotRedOnYou · 15/09/2018 13:21

The only thing I can't stand is the incessant bullying of Cheryl. The only character not to is her own mum. Always wanted her to give it back to Jim.

VeryBerrySeptember · 15/09/2018 13:29

Yes I hate that too.

hmmwhatatodo · 15/09/2018 13:38

I must confess to still drying pants and socks on the living room radiator. Would hide them if people came though! Do people still live like the Royale Family? I’m rewatching it now as a result of this thread. I used to love it but always felt sorry for quite a few of the characters. It came out when I was in university and I think that although I loved it and had a lot of friends who grew up in such families, I saw my family as being one small step up in some ways and quite like them in other ways. I saw university as a way to escape it all I think but sadly life didn’t turn out as I hoped it would! I think the Royale Family must bring up a lot of memories for people when they rewatch it.

itbemay · 15/09/2018 13:40

I watched the outtakes on you tube yesterday! So funny

JaneJeffer · 15/09/2018 13:44

Leggings Lorraine from over the road Barbara and Denise commenting on her leggings when they're both wearing them too

Isleepinahedgefund · 15/09/2018 13:54

Oh goodness so many favourite bits, it was such a well written show, not often does something make you laugh so much and than take you so far into other emotions like the hair brushing bit or when Denise was in labour. Caroline Aherne was a genius.

I always wondered how she managed to keep up that Denise face with the lips like that for so long!

But my favourite part was “Mary’s in the Dyson!”

SassitudeandSparkle · 15/09/2018 14:09

As mentioned by others, the bit in Queen of Sheba when nana says 'thank you, Barbara'. Makes me cry every time.

Denise 'baby wants a Penguin' (the choc biscuit, not the creature)

My mum stopped asking me what I'd had for my tea as she thought she sounded like Barbara!

dustarr73 · 15/09/2018 14:21

The Behind The Sofa programme was on the other night.Caroline and Craig where talking and laughing.I did have a little cry.
She was so young.And talented.

We love watching it here.They have everything spot on.It shouldnt be funny, but it is.

EscapeToTheMoon · 15/09/2018 15:08

Jim “going for a tom tit”💩

gunnergirl · 15/09/2018 15:11

To anthoniys girlfriend when she first came round and said she was vegetarian and manna said would you like some Parma ham Barbara she can have that lol

PixieMiss · 15/09/2018 16:11

All the scenes involving Beverley Macka but the time Barbara goes "oh shes had it hard" meaning her life to which Denise retorts "she likes it hard, thats her problem!"

Clawdy · 15/09/2018 16:43

Cheryl was teased, yes,but it wasn't just her mum who was kind to her. As I remember, Denise was her best friend, and always got cross with people who commented on Cheryl 's weight. Wasn't Barbara kind to her, too?

Battytwatty · 15/09/2018 17:12

I love it. Im working class and was brought up in Manchester. Born 1970. This takes me right back to my younger days. All sat in the living room watching the one telly we had. Dad smoking his head off. Ashtray overflowing. Me being set off to 'brew up' for everyone
Having chippy on our knees watching Monkey on a Friday night
Happy days

AnneOfCleavage · 15/09/2018 18:33

Daisywho and don't forget Sandy Scissors who does Denise's hair but Denise says she's still going to calll her Sandra.

Butterymuffin · 15/09/2018 18:36

Sandra Beswick! Denise isn't happy with her wedding hair.

Spartacunt · 15/09/2018 18:43

When Denise misses Baby David's nativity play because she was waiting for the DNA results on Jeremy Kyle.

Daisywho · 15/09/2018 18:50

Anne and Buttery Oh how could I forget Sandy Scissors! Grin “I wanted load of bits hanging round me face. Pull a load more down Cheryl!” ... “Denise you’ll look like the bloody Dulux dog.”

Also the Sunday roast episode. “Jim! Why can’t you just be happy for someone’s fitted wardrobes?”

I had a baby recently and every time I described something I was planning for her room my mum said I sounded like Denise after reading Hello magazine... “D’you know what Jane Seymour did when she had them twins? She got actual toy monkeys and stuck them to the wall. It look absolutely gorgeous.” Grin

Lovestonap · 15/09/2018 19:10

I thought the first couple of series and specials were amazing, like a pp I didn't like the later ones so much because they (Dave and Denise) became caricatures of themselves and were pretty poor parents.

Just the general cosiness and being interested in the little bits that made up each of their lives.

So many favourite moments. When Jim pretended to be the ghost of Elsie through the baby monitor was hilarious!

thenewaveragebear1983 · 15/09/2018 19:55

There’s one episode where jim sings to barb on his banjo- I can’t remember the song so if anyone can help then please let me know.

I love the early Sheridan smith as our Anthony’s girlfriend.

And I love when Dave and Denise sing Radiohead’s ‘no surprises’ to baby David- if you read the lyrics to this song there’s tremendous irony. Very clever writing.

Love the early Royle family, but it went rubbish at the end, and the golden egg cup episode was awful.

FireCrotch · 15/09/2018 20:18

These are the times I remember Cheryl being picked on.
Denise would laugh along but guiltily tell her dad to stop.
Barbara waited until she left and asked Denise incredulously if she'd asked her to be bridesmaid yet.
Anthony piped up that it was so Denise would look better.
Jim used to puff his cheeks out behind her back, call her greedy, accuse her of flattening the stair carpet, hiding the fizz so Cheryl couldn't get her greedy hands on it.
Oh and telling her not to eat the baby as she went off to look after him.
Twiggy commenting on her size and making fun of her for standing outside the chippy.
Twiggys girlfriend asking how much she weighed and worrying she might break the scales.
Nana remarking her dress looks too tight in front of everyone and over exaggerating her movement as she sat down next to her.
Anthony whispering that item of clothing she likes in the catalogue is a tent and that the only jeans Twiggy has to fit her are the ones he's wearing.
Her own dad calls her too. Comments on her arse to a guest who says " The big fat one? I've never seen an arse that big." Her dad agrees. He also tells people she's too fat for her bridesmaids dress.
Everyone stands staring while she eats making her uncomfortable. I'm sure there's many more. I love the show but agree about Cheryl being picked on. It was a bit much at times.

EyUpOurKid · 15/09/2018 20:56

"Brew up our Ant'ney"

My family call me Denise, and we call the baby 'baby David'

"Who wants apple pie?"
"Did you make it Barb?"
"No"
"Alright I'll 'ave some then"

bunchybaby · 15/09/2018 20:57

Beverly Macca has been flirting with Dave again :

Denise:she was round him Like flies round shit and she's not even the fly , she's too fat to be the fly and he's a shit and she's a shit and that's what they are , 2 shovels of shit and there she was laughing at all of his jokes ,he's not that funny

Jim : I know that love

Barb: JIM !

Jim: well it's the drink talking

Denise: I'm not pissed , I've only had about 9 .

Bloody love that programme, I can quote word for word every episode ... my real life nickname has been macca (as In Beverly) for nearly 20 years .

Barb:don't be horrible ,she's had it hard (talking about Bev)

Denise: that's her trouble she likes it hard GrinGrinGrin