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Awful lunch with Dsis she wants to come back

103 replies

BrokeLuce · 09/09/2018 19:31

A few weeks ago I had a text from my DSis saying 'Did I tell you that we are coming round for lunch on Saturday?', I replied no, asking her what she meant. She then responded with 'Shit, I told someone but I guess it wasn't you. We'll see you on Saturday.' DH and I have just moved house and we have a four month old so I was a little annoyed that she was trying to come round as she knows our house is a mess and we're knackered but her living situation is delicate. Her and her DP live with their child in his parents' home but his parents are very keen for them to leave. She agrees to arrive at 1pm.

DH and I prepare lunch to be served at 1pm and I'm texting my DSis about other stuff over the morning and she's responding. At 12:45pm I text and check where they are and she says they haven't left yet. So I asked her why she didn't tell me that they hadn't left at 11am (it's a two hour drive) like she said they would. She says her DP wouldn't get dressed. At this point my DH is annoyed and says tell them not to bother to come as he doesn't want to wait another two hours to eat lunch. I politely suggest that we rearrange as the food is done and won't be very nice once they arrive but she says they can't rearrange as her boyfriend will start an argument about it. I repeat that we are hungry and had they said they would be late we would have held off cooking. She reads the message and doesn't respond. They turn up at 3pm, without my nephew.

We eat and it's fine. I apologise for a certain part of the meal as it's slightly overdone. I attempted to reheat the food once they arrived and inevitably it dried the meat slightly. My DSis responds 'Don't worry this is why we don't let you cook Christmas dinner'. I couldn't believe it. I don't do many things well but food is my thing. I cook and host really well and despite my ugly flat I always have people asking to come round for dinner because I cook well. My DSis once made Christmas dinner and it was completely inedible and some of our guests refused to eat her cooking but no-one directly says these things to her. I replied that the food was perfectly fine to eat at 12pm and she doesn't respond.

At 6pm I tell my sister that my DD usually goes up to bed at 7pm and we go up with her as she's under six months. She asks if I'm trying to get rid of her and I say no but we need to get to bed, DH and I have been up since 5am. Her and her DP stay until 8pm.

She's now asking to come round again for lunch and has requested a specific menu. Can you help me phrase a polite response?

OP posts:
SofaHunt · 09/09/2018 19:34

No is a complete sentence, as my mother likes to say.

oooompa · 09/09/2018 19:34

"Absolutely fucking not"

Sounds like being polite has gotten you far OP, given that she turned up (very late!) when you suggested rearranging. She obviously can't take a hint (sounds a lot like my Dsis)

Ginmakesitallok · 09/09/2018 19:35

No, sorry that doesn't work for us

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frustratedashell · 09/09/2018 19:35

Why does it need to be polite?!

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 09/09/2018 19:35

Hi dsis, we can meet at < insert place to eat > so it's a treat for me too!!
Don't have her over again, she may pander to a twat dp but no need for you to also.

MagnaDoodle · 09/09/2018 19:35

What you don’t have to go to bed at 7pm because you have a wee one under 6 months. That’s ridiculous!

oooompa · 09/09/2018 19:35

*hasn't gotten you, is what my sausage fingers should have typed! Grin

MakeLemonade · 09/09/2018 19:36

What about suggesting you go out? Save her driving quite so far, can meet somewhere a bit close to her.

KnittingSister · 09/09/2018 19:36

Standard MN reply: that doesn't suit.
Or just : @#$% off.
HTH.

SilverApples · 09/09/2018 19:36

Polite won’t work on a thick-skinned egocentric person. Say no.

SoyDora · 09/09/2018 19:38

What you don’t have to go to bed at 7pm because you have a wee one under 6 months. That’s ridiculous!

Well no, of course they don’t have to. I often did when mine were babies though as their sleep was so shocking (waking every 45 mins). It’s beside the point anyway, the OP wanted to go to bed and told her sister that.

jumpingeasel · 09/09/2018 19:39

She is a Cf - say, bluntly, "you're not welcome for lunch again because you were very rude last time" job done

Foodylicious · 09/09/2018 19:40

So is her DP your brother?

Talk to him and get him to tell her that what she doing/how she is behaving is unreasonable.

If she is your DPs sister then let him sort her out.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 09/09/2018 19:41

Magna not the point of the thread. Anyway, if I'd been up since 5 and been fucked around like the OP had, I'd be going to bed too!

SoyDora · 09/09/2018 19:41

She said the CF is her sister didn’t she? Not her SIL.

Oddcat · 09/09/2018 19:41

Your dsis sounds a bit odd tbh, who did she think she'd asked to come round if it wasn't you ? Confused
Her partner is also odd - wouldn't get dressed - is he 5 ?

I'd send her a message telling her that as this visit didn't go to plan you'd rather meet half way.

Maelstrop · 09/09/2018 19:41

Meet halfway? Asking to come again is fucking cheeky, she should wait to be asked.

Taking your baby to bed and you both go up? What the heck?!

userabcname · 09/09/2018 19:42

Just say you're very busy and can't fit them in any time soon. Then say you'll go to them next time anyway as it's her turn to cook!

bigchris · 09/09/2018 19:42

I used to go to bed when my baby went to bed

I had no life and ended up with pnd

Op please just say no

Foodylicious · 09/09/2018 19:43

What you don’t have to go to bed at 7pm because you have a wee one under 6 months. That’s ridiculous!

Follows current SIDS reductions guidelines that babies under 6 months should be sleeping in same room as caregiver, this includes day time naps, early evening as well as overnight.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 09/09/2018 19:43

Broke has she always been like this? She sounds very odd and, well, foul.

ScrambledSmegs · 09/09/2018 19:43

"No, never ever again".

That should do it.

Chocolala · 09/09/2018 19:44

When I get up at 5 am and know the baby is likely to wake me up at 5 again, I’m perfectly happy to jump into bed at 7:30!

Just say no, OP

Oddcat · 09/09/2018 19:44

his parents are very keen for them to leave.

I wonder why ? Hmm

Foodylicious · 09/09/2018 19:45

We has a crib downstairs (that cat slept in whilst baby slept on me) then went yo bed together when I was ready to go