Ways life didn’t pan out how you expected as a child

[Sarahandduck18]

As a child I assumed I’d get married, change my name, have 3dcs live in and own a semi or detached house with a garage garden and a bedroom for every child. I assumed my dcs would go to good state or private schools and I’d never be out of employment. I assumed I’d we’d have a foreign holiday every year and a decent sized not old banger of a car. I assumed I’d always be healthy and a healthy bmi. I assumed I’d have a career and would progress up and be in the higher tax band type level of responsibility by middle age.

I didn’t think any of these things were too ‘out there’ or ambitious.

But when I look at my life it is very different!

Some things I wouldn’t want anymore (marriage/name change) but some I feel I’ve failed my dcs (holidays/house)

I suppose it’s a generational thing.

My parents of course blame it all on us having smartphones!

Are other women’s lives what their child’s eye saw?

I assumed quicksand would be a more frequent danger in my life.

I assumed I'd have a big lavish wedding to some tall handsome bloke and we would have 8 kids.

As it turns out I'm gay and subfertile.

I thought I would be married and have 3 kids by 25 (an ancient age!) and be a teacher. Negative on all fronts

I thought I would be a famous writer, married with a son and daughter and live in a thatched cottage!

I assumed I would never get married, maybe have one (girl) child through a passionate but short lived relationship with someone who would tragically die young, and travel the world as a journalist reporting on Very Exciting Things.

Instead, I'm married, with two boys, living somewhere dangerously close to suburbia, and with a safe but not terribly exciting job.

I was promised that cars would be able to fly, I spent my whole childhood picturing myself hovering over traffic lights, living in a world with no traffic jams but im still waiting

I thought I'd be living in Italy and driving a red volvo. I also thought quicksand was a big danger. I blame The Neverending Story for that.

I remember thinking that when the millennium came I'd be 27, so I'd probably spend NYE having a dinner party in my lovely large house with my husband and our other successful, professional friends whilst my angelic children slept upstairs. For some reason I would have been dressed like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's. Midnight would be seen in with champagne and fireworks.

As it happened that evening was spent in my 1 bed starter home, with bare concrete floors, damp and cold as I'd had a flood a few weeks before and the house was in tatters. The attendees were my ex, whose leg was in plaster and had discharged himself from hospital against doctors advice, one of his mates who'd been kicked out by his wife after going on a crack binge, some random Kiwi girl I barely knew and another friend who'd turned up randomly. By midnight my ex had taken too much coke (on top of a general anaesthic) and was puking into a towel as he couldnt get to the bathroom and everyone else had left.

One of those real 'what the fuck has happened to my life' moments.

HanarCantWearSweaters
I assumed quicksand would be a more frequent danger in my life

I am quietly lmao over that.

I did assume we’d have pets - we’ve had a goldfish (lived for 10 years so kudos) but that’s it.
(We live in a flat that doesn’t allow pets)

I never imagined i would have lived in four different countries and had two learn two new languages as an adult, I thought I would be married at 23 with four kids living in Melbourne, not married to a Danish man living in Germany with two kids.

I thought I'd be jetsetting around the world with lots of glamour. Live in middle class suburbia with 2 young dc. The lifestyle Op wanted basically.
Yep, you need a separate wing and night nanny to be able to host lavish parties with sleeping children in the house.

I imagined I would be a failed writer but successful librarian with a gorgeous rich husband named Nicholas. We would travel the world with our cats and wear fabulous clothes. The truth of my life is that I’m an expat working in HR, with a lovely DH not named Nicholas.

I imagined living in a 4 bed executive style 70s house, three dc (two of same sex sharing) and a spare room. I'd have a runaround car just for me and we would have an abroad holiday and a UK holiday. My DH would be a GP or bank manager. I had v little ambition and thought that would be an easy life. It wasn't particularly ambitious for my background. I was no great shakes at school and didn't really expect to work.

When I started work I loved it. I also married a workaholic - a very successful one.

I think standards of living have decreased so many of us are living inferior lives compared with our parents.

My father was the sole earner in a management role in the 80s/90s. This was enough to pay two sets of school fees, run two cars, two holidays a year, have an au pair, a cleaner and an ironing lady. You'd have to be on a huge salary now to have an equivalent lifestyle.

I assumed as a child, that if I had children they'd go to private school. I'd have a large house, nice cars, nice holidays etc. My life isn't bad but I'm definitely worse off than my parents.

hanar SAME.

I dreamed of one of two life paths -

I’d be a successful horror/fantasy/sci fi writer, drunk on JD, living in a cabin somewhere, and have no contact with my family, no kids, no husband etc.

OR

A surgeon working in a war zone, again isolated with no human connections

As it happens, I have 3DC, been divorced twice, worked shitty NMW jobs.

However I am single by choice and about to start a Biology degree at University and intend to focus on my education for the next 8 years

I was going to live in the countryside working for the Forestry Commission or as a Lighthouse keeper. I wasnt going to have a boyfriend or get married or have any kids instead I would have 3 German Shepherd dogs. I would drive a landrover or a 60s mini.

I work in a call centre, I live in the city I am married with 2 kids I have 2 cats and a small dog and drive a very sensible volvo estate.

Yep, standards of living have fallen since our parents generation. We were a one income family and had 2 cars, paid off mortgage, dad was able to invest in property, support three kids in private school

@Howtodeal that did make me laugh in the year 2018 though!

I was quiet, plain, disabled and very academic.

I figured I'd be a blue stocking spinster and a bit lonely.

I have a handsome successful husband and was a SAHM to four lovely kids. I'm very happy how my life turned out.

Also looking back, many of the kids I was at private school with came from modest backgrounds....dads who were cabbies or in middle management roles or teachers and mums who were part time secretaries...that sort of thing. People nowadays in those professions wouldn't be able to afford school fees now.

I assumed I'd be a lawyer with a three or four bedroom semi or detached house and my own car (nothing too swanky but a new shiny car like a Mini Cooper). I thought I'd probably have two children in my mid to late thirties, after marriage.

Reality: I work in a call centre part time, engaged but not married with 1 child who was born when I was 24. I own a two bed terrace house. I do have a law degree and LPC but have decided not to pursue a legal career now as my son was unplanned and I didn't want to add a stressful job to the mix. I'm now 28 and planning my second child but I almost decided against after 2.5 years of PND

Oh and I don't drive. My partner owns a second hand rusty Mazda lol

I thought I would be a writer in a lonely cottage on a remote moor in the UK alone and just about managing for money. Surprisingly I am happily married with DC, living out of UK and have a much more comfortable lifestyle than I imagined could have existed.