Ways life didn’t pan out how you expected as a child

[Sarahandduck18]

As a child I assumed I’d get married, change my name, have 3dcs live in and own a semi or detached house with a garage garden and a bedroom for every child. I assumed my dcs would go to good state or private schools and I’d never be out of employment. I assumed I’d we’d have a foreign holiday every year and a decent sized not old banger of a car. I assumed I’d always be healthy and a healthy bmi. I assumed I’d have a career and would progress up and be in the higher tax band type level of responsibility by middle age.

I didn’t think any of these things were too ‘out there’ or ambitious.

But when I look at my life it is very different!

Some things I wouldn’t want anymore (marriage/name change) but some I feel I’ve failed my dcs (holidays/house)

I suppose it’s a generational thing.

My parents of course blame it all on us having smartphones!

Are other women’s lives what their child’s eye saw?

I was going to be a famous actress or a very successful singer in a guitar band.
I never progressed past a few acoustic chords which probably wouldn't cut it - but I did work as an actor for over a decade doing theatre and some commercial work, and also a season in a lead role at the RSC
I was never going to get married or have children.
I got married at 23 and have 2 DC.
I don't act professionally any more but I do teach drama so I did manage to do the job without the fame 😀

I thought being clever meant the world would be at my feet.

I’m still clever but less resilient than necessary to “achieve no matter what” and so on.

I dreamt of being a famous Ballerina...😊. No, that didn't materialise. Live a very reclusive life in the countryside

Absolutely sarah. I thought going to uni (I did. An excellent one!) Would somehow lead to the next stage and of course an income enough to do well on. I wasnt even concerned avout being rich or a career but had assumed like OP a reasonable standard of living.

Oops.

How does a 40 something start a decent career....

I knew I always wanted my own career and assumed I'd always be very independent. Not a man or baby in sight in my child's eye view of adult me. I assumed I'd be a high flying city architect...I almost made it too. But then I got narcolepsy whilst at uni studying to be said architect, and now I'm financially dependant on my very lovely man...welp.

I assumed I'd have a certain career, marry, have a big family, not have a luxurious life but no serious financial worries.

Reality : career wasn't what I thought (political changes meant the job fundamentally changed), divorced (he cheated), one child (2 mc and then unable to have more due to a rare medical condition that could kill me if I did), no money worries (became ill and disabled in early 30's, managed to work for a few more years but currently unable to work, on benefits and counting the pennies).

I thought I'd have made more of my career, have a happy-ish marriage and live in a detached house up north.

Nope. In an emotionally and verbally abusive marriage in a crappy tiny house where he squanders our money on him and I can't afford to leave him. Honesty thought I'd be in a better place.

Also expected to have a hover board by now.

I never imagined that David Bowie wouldn't be around

I wanted to be a nun and work with children
Luke the sound of music

I am married 2 DC's but I do work with children

I thought my waistline would always remain the same!

I think I expected life to be steady and a calm progression through milestones.

Instead I've had years where I haven't been employed, various experiences of heartbreak and bereavement, experience of mental illness, job satisfaction, living abroad and joyful happy times too.

I assumed I would be PM.

Turns out I can’t lie, so politics is never going to be for me.

I thought I would go to university (I did) and become a translator (I didn't) never thought about getting married or having children (I've done neither) I thought I would be a rational and 'together' grown up lady (I'm not)

Toomany
{I was going to be a famous actress or a very successful singer in a guitar band.
I never progressed past a few acoustic chords which probably wouldn't cut it}
Reputedly Status Quo only used 3 chords and they seemed to manage.
They even took the 'michael' out of themselves calling one of the later albums 'The fourth chord'.

The only things I can remember thinking about as a child was that I'd be a police officer with no children.

Neither happened but I'm happier for it.

I though I would be a happily married mum of 2 or 3 kids, cottage with roses round the door, a couple of dogs and maybe a cat.

I’m divorced after a miserable abusive marriage. No kids and due to being unable to get out of said marriage earlier it’s now too late to do anything about that.

But, I’m now in a happy relationship, no roses round the door of our little two bed cottage yet, and just a rather obese cat , but I’m doing ok now.

I thought I’d have more money and I never imagined I’d end up fat.

I thought being clever meant the world would be at my feet

Oh yes, this. When I see or hear of kids these days upset because they haven’t got straight A’s or whatever I want to tell them not to sweat it, being a top student isn’t the be all and end all and doesn’t guarantee career success at all.

I also thought I’d be a better mother. But then I’m like my own mother which I guess isn’t surprising really.

I still do this, I’m fairly young though - not at the ‘life sorted!’ stage. As a kid I used to think that when I grew up to be a teen I’d be very popular, and, oddly, wear red cardigans - - didn’t happen, no friends, certainly no red cardis. I longed to have a big fairytale wedding to a handsome man, handsome and rich - am gay, so big fairytale wedding could still theoretically happen but would be slightly different!
I wanted to have twins and live somewhere far flung like Japan or very idyllic and rural.

Nowadays... twins a possibility I suppose if I did ivf - also they run in the family so... 🤷🏻‍♀️
Living far flung or rural... ehhh.. possibly. I haven’t met anybody yet and part of me feels like I never will, but somehow I’m comfortable with that. Sometimes I think i’d love to be tied down in the future and other times I think I’d prefer the freedom of being single (with a cat or two!) so...

I figured I'd leave school at 16, travel the world, become a famous writer and have several beautiful children with Leonardo Di Caprio by the time I was about 21.

I ended up continuing my education, and now live about 10 mins from the house I grew up in with DH (who works in finance and is not Leonardo di Caprio) and DS, who I had at 31 and will probably be our only. And I work in university administration.

This is a lovely thread.

I went through iterations of all sorts of imagine futures involving various immense and/or noteworthy successes. Having children often featured. Instead I'm 33, no children yet, and facing divorce next year. Immense successes do not look likely to feature in my future and it is odd to be adjusting to being okay with that. However, I do have qualifications I never would have imagined myself getting, a job that I love, a home that I love in a city that I love, amazing friends, and I have had all sorts of crazy adventures in my life so far. So 🤷🏽‍♀️ really.

I remember thinking that when the millennium came I'd be 27
I remember working out how old I'd be at the millennium, which was younger than 27 and thinking "oh no, I'll be old then and not find that sort of thing exciting."

So it’s not just me then ...

I assumed that I would never have children and would have to spend my life living on my own as I was chronically shy as a teenager and didn't even have a boyfriend until I was in my twenties. I was also very plain with terrible skins, braces and glasses. I still sometimes have to pinch myself when I look at my gorgeous teenage DC.