Ways life didn’t pan out how you expected as a child

[Sarahandduck18]

As a child I assumed I’d get married, change my name, have 3dcs live in and own a semi or detached house with a garage garden and a bedroom for every child. I assumed my dcs would go to good state or private schools and I’d never be out of employment. I assumed I’d we’d have a foreign holiday every year and a decent sized not old banger of a car. I assumed I’d always be healthy and a healthy bmi. I assumed I’d have a career and would progress up and be in the higher tax band type level of responsibility by middle age.

I didn’t think any of these things were too ‘out there’ or ambitious.

But when I look at my life it is very different!

Some things I wouldn’t want anymore (marriage/name change) but some I feel I’ve failed my dcs (holidays/house)

I suppose it’s a generational thing.

My parents of course blame it all on us having smartphones!

Are other women’s lives what their child’s eye saw?

These are all amazing! I can only remember wanting to work in the local shop. No idea if husband, house or kids featured!

I didn't think I'd get married or ever have a boyfriend because I assumed I was too ugly and unattractive- instead I met dh when I was 19 and am still very happy with him 35 years later.

I assumed I would have to become a teacher because that's what "clever" children did in the neck of the woods where I grew up- instead I am an (admittedly badly paid) university lecturer and absolutely loving my job.

Private schools were something I'd only read about in books so the fact that my dc have gone to state schools isn't really something that upsets me.

I assumed I wouldn't have a car because my parents were heavily into the environment - and it was only for very complicated reasons that we finally caved in and got one after being married for 15 years.

I assumed that I would do what my parents did and do a fair bit of travelling but always on a shoestring- what I hadn't counted on was that I'd be living abroad so a lot of my travelling would be going home (the shoestring bit was correct, though).

The one thing that has come as a shock was having a disabled child who despite my best efforts could never have the carefree childhood I enjoyed, because chronic pain got in the way.

For some reason I always thought I would get married twice first time a it would passionate traveling around the world affair it was very glamorous it was too passionate and would fight all the time I would then marry someone I loved and was comfortable with we had a comfortable nice life and would have children while my ex still pined for me

I have been married once may happen again but no more children

It never crossed my mind I would be a single mum from the moment I found out I was pregnant but things are good

I thought that I would become a nun( I was very religious as a child) and work as a missionary in South America.
I would be also fluent in several languages
I would live a relatively carefree life

The reality is that I am married with three dc,so obviously not a nun

Well I never thought I'd be married to the guy I web out with on year 10 but I am!!

I don't think I ever had expectations other than having children at some point....which I did!! I did think I'd have travelled more and been exciting in my spare time but I was terrified if everything then so god knows how I thought I'd achieve it!!

I'm doing as much as I can now instead

Saw this on Facebook earlier: When I was little, I never realised that eyebrows would be so important to me.

CantankerousCamel you sound like my kind of woman. May your happiness grow and grow

I thought that any children I had would be delightful little sprites who would skip around happily, hanging on my every word. It never occurred to me that they would be very opinionated and stubborn.

I vowed that I would never be anything like my mum... who of course I sound like 60% of the time and whose choices I understand now I am a mother myself and just a bit older and wiser well, a lot older.

Like PP have said, cost of living has put made to some of my fantasies. Career wise, some bits did come true but the large house in SW London was completely unaffordable and the dreamed off convertible wasn't even discussed when trying to scrabble
together money for the mortgage on the small maisonette in SW London.

I thought I'd have several boyfriends, live in my own flat, maybe settle down at 28 (!), or maybe not, have 2-4 kids and a good career living in a house with a big garden. Have lots of dinner parties. Pretty similar to my mum.

Instead I got together with my Dh at aged 19, had a funny off on series of jobs, live in a nice house but small garden. Also I didn't think I'd have my middle child stillborn. I thought that was a thing of the past. Sorry to be a downer.

I thought that I would go on holiday to the moon, and be nothing at all like my mother

Sorry for your loss, tobee

My life has been a disappointment in that I am not a plucky frontier 1900s schoolteacher, single handedly raising my dead sisters children in a log cabin I built myself while fending off the attentions of the local pastor and the shopkeeper while battling bears and smallpox.

Nor am I the misplaced child of a rich runaway who died in childbirth (as far as I know)

Nor am I living in a giant old house with hidden passages and mysteriously locked rooms.

Indeed nor am I a prize winning show pony.

As a child I was an avid reader and a wild imaginer. And s bit of a twat.

Thanks, TheCat. I'm not saying it for sympathy it's just that's really was the most unexpected thing to have happened in my life. And that it's happened to so many others, even our first world country, and is still not discussed much.

I thought as an adult bullying wouldn't be an issue.....I was very wrong :(

I did think I’d maybe get married more than once or be a Bridget Jones/SATC 30 something Singleton so it’s been a surprise that I got together with dp aged 25 and stayed put.

I also thought I’d have cut my DM out my life long before I did.

Tech wise I probably thought people would be going on space holidays by now.

I was going to be a doctor. Apart from that my expectations from life tended to the catastrophic - i fully expect (ed) to die from [insert fatal disease currently in news] at an early age.

For some reason my image of marriage and DH was limited to my cooking a fabulous meal in a gorgeous kitchen for a dinner party and my lovely DH walks in and hugs me from behind.

Reality
Corporate career, lovely husband. Not yet dead. Have gorgeous kitchen but still cant cook for toffee. I resort to takeaway for the dinner parties.

I thought I'd be a slim, slightly neurotic actress with a large Georgian hous ein central London, married to a composer/pianist.
Hah.
I'm a porker out in the country, married to a man who can't read music and far less neurotic than I was in my daydreaming teens.

Damn, you mean I was supposed to have had a plan?
As I am approaching retirement I had better hurry up I suppose.

I never thought I would end up living back in London. Never thought that several of my family would move abroad.

I've done pretty well, I can't complain. But life is hard work (money is tight even though I have a high-end managerial job - god knows how those less well off survive).

I never realised I would find relationships with men so hard though. I've 2 DCs but never had a good relationship where I've loved AND felt loved at the same time. My children are harder work than I would like and I am a worse mother than I hoped I'd be. I loose my temper a lot. I thought giving birth would be easier (never thought I'd end up with 2 CSs - and a stay in NICU),

Life is weird.

I was going into the Royal Navy as an officer, stay until I was 32 when I would have 4 beautiful children with my handsome ex Navy officer husband.
I had to give up work at 20 to be a full time carer for my husband. He is neither an officer or a gentleman but I have had 4 beautiful children

tobee I'm so sorry

I thought I'd be a vet. I'm a care worker. I thought I'd have lots of pets, rescued from hapless owners. I have absolutely zero desire for the cost, fuss and mess of animals.

I assumed I'd have 2 children and own a house. I have 3 children, and live in a beautiful home but it's rented. I remember quite specifically thinking I'd get married at 26, first child at 28. I was pregnant at 29 with my first but I'm still not married.

I assumed I'd go to university, which I did, but I did rather assume that that might lead me to a job that would allow me to own my own home and have holidays. Apparently not

I don't drive a Mercedes (can't afford it) or live in a city (tried it, didn't like it) and I have a husband and a child that I never contemplated (I was a feminist and career minded).

I am in the career that I planned but have progressed slower (more realistically!) than I imagined.

Hmmn. A friend of mine asked me a few months ago if I had any idea what I wanted to be when I grew up? Will retire in 5 or 6 years

I assumed I'd go to university, which I did, but I did rather assume that that might lead me to a job that would allow me to own my own home and have holidays. Apparently not hmm

The sentence that sums up my generation.