Ways life didn’t pan out how you expected as a child

[Sarahandduck18]

As a child I assumed I’d get married, change my name, have 3dcs live in and own a semi or detached house with a garage garden and a bedroom for every child. I assumed my dcs would go to good state or private schools and I’d never be out of employment. I assumed I’d we’d have a foreign holiday every year and a decent sized not old banger of a car. I assumed I’d always be healthy and a healthy bmi. I assumed I’d have a career and would progress up and be in the higher tax band type level of responsibility by middle age.

I didn’t think any of these things were too ‘out there’ or ambitious.

But when I look at my life it is very different!

Some things I wouldn’t want anymore (marriage/name change) but some I feel I’ve failed my dcs (holidays/house)

I suppose it’s a generational thing.

My parents of course blame it all on us having smartphones!

Are other women’s lives what their child’s eye saw?

@Leclerc - I can still play three chords. Maybe it's not too late 😂

I can sing well so thought I might be famous! Sadly I’m not! I thought I would never get married or have children but I have been married twice with two children!

I thought I'd be single, living in a swish apartment writing for a music magazine and meeting all my favourite bands. I thought I'd date some musicians but never thought I'd settle down.

I got married at 21, I work in finance and we would very much like to start a family if we can.

Not what I imagined but I'm very happy.

I didn't quite manage to have all of the 8 children that I'd hoped for and I don't design dresses for Princess Diana, but other than that, it's all good.

I thought I'd be living by the sea, working as a doctor, married to a bookish man dressed in corduroy, who has reading glasses and cardigans. Kids and a Laura Ashley house.

Tbh, the house, the husband, kids, house etc worked out pretty darn close! But because I hated medicine, my income isn't enough for the big old house I imagined. Very happy in the house (right by the sea) that I have, and I have so far had a very interesting career in publishing/politics, so not bothered about the money side of things.

I thought I'd be slimmer though - still a bit of a porker, but working on it

I don't look like Kim Wilde 😔

At the age of thirtyone I am beginning to suspect all the time I spent training for the zombie apocolypse (any sort of apocolypse would do, really) may have been wasted....

Well, not really wasted as I had good fun at archery lessons, but I'm still slightly put out that I will probably never lead a gang of hardy survivor types to salvation.

And tbh now I'm such a soft git that I'd probably be the first one dead.

I thought I'd be married to John Taylor (having jilted a heartbroken Simon le Bon at the altar, natch) and be living in a loft in Manhattan.

Oddly enough, neither of those things happened.

But, yes, fear of quicksand remains.

I was going to have a pet tiger and be a lollipop lady.

Life has turned out quite differently

I am not living in a giant pink castle.
I've been robbed.

I thought I’d want to sahp till my kids went to school 😂😂😂😂😂😂 no. No way. Not a chance.

My parents were extremely unambitious but hard working nonetheless. I don't think ambition was seen as a admirable quality when I was growing up and we saw school as something to do until you were able to work.

I imagined I would work in a care home and would be married to a blue collar worker who would come home in dirty work clothes and I would have tea on the table. We would have a large number of children who would be loved immeasurably and we would always be struggling for money. We would live in Essex where I grew up. We would take holidays in Clacton or great Yarmouth and we would be happy. I suppose that was my only real ambition, oh and to have an American style fridge freezer.

I have three children who I love immeasurably and I did get the fridge freezer which I love too, but I moved to the Midlands and met a lovely man who is a financial advisor and we are better off than I ever imagined we could be.

I want my kids to be ambitious and to grab life with both hands.

Gandolf im so the other way. High aspirations and life ended up much lower income.... so disappointed!

Don’t think I ever thought I’d know how to make friends or deal with other people (who weren’t characters in books), but seem to have acquired an amazing circle of friends and a husband who like the fact I’m a geeky hermit and sometimes I even find myself in a situation where I think “oh god, maybe I’m actually cool”

I was going to be a horse.

I was going to be an actor by day, pop star by night, failing that a librarian.
Ended up pretty much bang in between.

I thought I was going to fall madly in love at 16 and elope as our parents wouldn't approve because of our age.
I was going to be a famous artist and very very flush.
We were going to travel the world with no worries...

I was going to be riding my horse professionally with 4DC all into riding with me. There was no DH in the picture!!!

I had a major riding accident when I was 18 and have not ridden since. My eldest does equine therapy and is a natural in the saddle. DS is starting equine therapy in March next year when he turns 6.

We have 2DC with autism. We had a 3rd child and would have had a fourth but DH can't face going through another pregnancy or risking having another child with autism.

I thought finding pets would be more of a thing tbh...

I thought cats would just appear, stray puppies would follow me home and I’d find a pony and get to keep them all.

I blame books, lol

As a child I had a lot of anxiety and during teenage years I thought I would die from fear. I did not think I would live to adulthood. So I think just being alive and muddling through is a bonus.

I thought I'd be happy.

Men didn't feature in my ambitions at all. I had no interest in getting married. I thought I would be a writer, and live in a high-ceilinged student in Paris or Amsterdam, above a cafe. I would have lots of books and very long hair. I might have children later on, maybe when I was Very Old at 27.

In reality I met my partner when I was 23 and we've now been together nearly 13 years. That was not the plan! I live in suburbia (which I like because it's 5 minutes from countryside but still convenient for town), and am not a writer though I do work with words. I tried having very long hair, but it's damn annoying. I do have lots of books but not many as I'd planned, because it turns out they're not free. And I will be Quite Old if I have a child, much older than 27

I would still have liked to try my original plan though, even if just for a year or two.

*apartment not student!

I thought I'd be offered drugs way more than the 0 times it happens as a teen

I thought I'd be a vet until I grew up and realised I'm a) scared of animals and b) scared of blood and c) not good under pressure

I thought I'd be a proper grown up by now, apparently not. I run a house and have a child and a partner who owns a business and neither of us have a fucking clue how to adult properly