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Original poster

Who could you call if you were upset?

134 replies

Sarahandduck18 · 01/09/2018 21:09

Just had a random thought that if I was upset and needed/wanted someone to call and speak to over the phone or in person (not text/online) there’s no one that I feel I could ask this of.

I have friends but only have occasional meet ups.

I get on with colleagues but none I’d classas real friends who there’d be contact if one or the other left.

Family is a no.

Is this normal?

Who do you call on?

OP posts:
notangelinajolie · 06/09/2018 19:50

DH

shirleyschmidt · 06/09/2018 20:41

Mum, DH, and sister are my rocks. I could also confide in my other siblings and my Dad. I'm very lucky.

TheFuckfaceWhisperer · 06/09/2018 21:12

Even though I have a DP, DM, DD and a few friends, I still have nobody I could talk to about anything important. It's very lonely...

TheFuckfaceWhisperer · 06/09/2018 21:13

Oh, and four brothers and a SiL

GrumpyOldMare · 06/09/2018 21:18

No one. Who wants to listen to my problems when they have their own to cope with. I'm an adult and need to deal with my own problems not pass them on to others.

Ioki · 06/09/2018 21:22

Nobody

Yogafailure · 06/09/2018 21:24

In order

DH
Mum
Brother
Any of my dcs godmums (3 friends)
Another 5 friends who I can call in the middle of the night ( and have, and vice versa)

I haven't lots of friends but I have a small quantity of bloody good uns

Ginmakesitallok · 06/09/2018 21:27

Dp, my mum, my brother, then 1 friend from work.

ShesABelter · 06/09/2018 21:29

My mum, dad, sister or husband.

kaytee87 · 06/09/2018 21:30

My husband or mum unless I was annoyed at them then my friend or my brother

bellsbuss · 06/09/2018 21:33

OH, one of my 4 best friends or one of my sisters

mumof2kiddos · 06/09/2018 21:34

NONE! I dont feel confident or feel any empathy if I discuss with my husband. I know he will be shocked to learn this but many a times I share my worry and anxiety over here rather than with any known person.
I could talk with my parents but now they are in 70s and 80s and I really dont want to burden them. Plus they being 8000 miles away, cant do anything apart from worry.
My sister has 3 little boys and can barely think outside her own life.
I have a few friends but dont want to share any personal misery with them. But in case of medical emergencies I would call them, wont give a 2nd thought at that time.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 06/09/2018 21:36

Nobody in London anymore, everyone has moved and relationships have changed.

Nearest person i have is in Chichester, most folk north of the border.

So it’d be:
DH
Chichester friend
Friend in the Highlands

Marmite27 · 06/09/2018 21:42

My husband, then a couple of close friends met at NCT or an online hobby group that I’ve been part of for nearly 15 years.

My mum, my brother, my sil, my husbands sil, my fil, my dad, mil, and bil x2 would be second string depending on who’s answering the phone.

I suddenly feel very lucky and not so alone Smile

MrsMarigold · 06/09/2018 21:43

My parents

Ellapaella · 06/09/2018 21:52

DH
Best friend (from childhood)
Sister
After that I have a handful of good friends and a couple of work colleagues I'm close to that I would probably call.

I would say my Mum and I certainly could call her but it really depends what's upset me as she would then worry and fret about it as well and I would hate that!

Cleanermaidcook · 06/09/2018 22:22

Dh, 3 really close friends and then a lot of friends who I know we'd be there for each other if any of us needed to talk, moan or needed emergancy childcare or a favour.
I really value my friends, I'd be sad without thrm.

Muuuuuuuum · 06/09/2018 22:26

No one which is why I'm sitting crying by myself on the sofa, reading Mumsnet right now.

Although I'm just generally sad, not like I have anything specific to talk about with anyone.

Bouledeneige · 06/09/2018 22:33

I have 2 female friends and one male one I might call. I used to have another female friend to call but we are not so close now.

But I don't always call - I will often deal it with myself and then tell them about it later. I've been through a few ups and downs and don't want to seem like the needy friend.

TowerRingInferno · 06/09/2018 22:41

A friend. I have a handful I could (and do) go to if upset. The actual one would depend on what I was upset about.

Definitely wouldn’t go to my family.

myusernameisnotmyusername · 06/09/2018 23:48

DP or my best friend. After that my mum or my brother. My newer friends I'm not sure about because I am good friends with them but no one gets me like my best friend. She might as well be my sister.

forgotMyusernameAgain · 07/09/2018 00:03

You're not alone op, i have no one to turn to either. Upset often means blubbing at home alonr

ScienceIsTruth · 07/09/2018 00:04

No one. OH is too busy with his own stuff and isn't particularly empathetic, and I don't have any friends (not for want of trying).

I try not to dwell on out as it makes me tearful. I realised the other day that if I were to die, there'd only be about 5ppl at my funeral (my 2 dc , my oh, my db & my ds, that's if they were all still around). I don't know what's wrong with me & why other ppl don't like me enough to become friends.

I hope you're ok though, OP. Flowers

DiveBombingSeagull · 07/09/2018 00:09

FlowersFlowersFlowers to those who feel you have no one. The good thing about MN is that there is always someone here to listen, advise or hand hold.

I think many people would be surprised that not very close acquaintances would be there in your hour of need. It’s human nature to be kind and to care.

I’m incredibly fortunate that I have a great OH, and a fantastic close relationship with my parents although my first port of call is usually my sister from whom I’m inseparable and by default her husband. My best friend lives an hour away, could call her at 3am for anything and ditto my boss who is great at times of panic, he just rocks up and sorts things out

DarkDarkNight · 07/09/2018 00:22

My mum, that is all. No partner, and no friends. Also no other family members I would tell I am upset.

It’s really hard because I have to censor myself around my mum. I have anxiety and depression and tend to dwell on and get very preoccupied with things and it’s not something she understands. I’m very down about my life and I can’t actually tell her that or really confide in her. Sometimes I long for a friend or partner. I don’t think it’s good to bottle everything up, but some of us have got no choice.