Who could you call if you were upset?

[Sarahandduck18]

Just had a random thought that if I was upset and needed/wanted someone to call and speak to over the phone or in person (not text/online) there’s no one that I feel I could ask this of.

I have friends but only have occasional meet ups.

I get on with colleagues but none I’d classas real friends who there’d be contact if one or the other left.

Family is a no.

Is this normal?

Who do you call on?

Reading the full thread and seeing so many people who have no one is awful! I wish we could set up some sort of support group for each other as I'm sure sometimes speaking to someone who has maybe gone through similar situations but not a friend as such would give an air of anonymity and make it easier to chat I feel! Am I crazy or does anyone feel similarly?

Sarahandduck18 is it just a general question or do you feel you are in need of support? X

If anyone needs a sounding board... my history includes

Shoddy mental health
3ds one indeed was a preemie and spent time in scbu
10 years in a terrible relationship tgat was every kind of abusive
Work in the care environment so have sone knowledge about coping mechanisms etc just need to learn how to take my own advice!
Being in a position where outgoings exceed income
Exp not helping support 3ds and using child care to manipulate and control!
Cared for dear dear gm through illness and ultimately end of life.

Only 31 but feel 94! And I genuinely love to help people - I'm that person who will take food and tobacco to homeless people in my town and sit for long chats whenever I can.

It may feel otherwise but people do care - even if you aren't a long tine friend or relative. Everyone deserves respect and support and to know that they are as worth as anyone else!

❤

Right at this moment I honestly don't know, my friends are probably all at work (I'm not back until Thursday) and it really wouldn't help phoning family!

I'm probably a little like Onthebrink87 and can chatter quite a lot to people around me (the corner shop are always really nice if I'm upset about something).

I'm my own worst enemy sometimes as a friend from my old town is driving down tomorrow and I'm seeing my best friend at the end of the week and am already feeling grumpy at having to be 'social'.

It does make you feel a bit sad to think about people being lonely.

DH & my Mum, would be the people I'd call!

I envy those of you who have people you can call. I’m off work at the moment and have just realised that I haven’t spoken to another person since last Friday and - beyond a scheduled duty call to my parents tomorrow to check they’re still alive - may not have human contact until Monday.

Onthebrink

More general really.

For me DP is my main sounding board.

But if it’s him who has upset me (very rare) there isn’t anyone to share that with.

I wondered how common that was.

We’re in this ago where lots of people have 300+ fb friends but actually talking to friends that seems rarer now.

I’m very fortunate. I cold call DH, I have 11 brothers and sisters who I’m very close too, I’m very close to my parents, I have a big group of friends that I could speak to. Also very close to my aunties and cousins!

I have an amazing best friend without whom I'm not sure I would have managed, frankly. I have a mother and two sisters also but they can be unpleasant, so I try to keep things light and minimal with them. Doesn't always work, hence when I need my best friend.

My DH is always the first, failing that my DM or MIL. MIL actually rushed round to see me once when I was in a state, I am really lucky.

It depends on the situation and what caused the upset. I have mom, dh, best (only) freind and few siblings to choose from. They may not have answers, but ranting sometimes help. Not forgetting random websites like mumsnet.

Husband
Close friend
Mother

In that order

DH
DSis
Friends - two or three of them.

My mum would have been high on that list too but she died four years ago.

If I didn't have my DH on hand, my mum. If I didn't have her, I don't know really. There was a time a few years ago when I thought my DH might have cancer and I didn't want to worry my mum about it so I phoned my aunt. But she died earlier this year.

Maybe my uncle's wife so my aunt by marriage. She is really lovely.

I have my mum, sister, best friend and ex partner depending on what the problem was.

I'm not actually one for sharing my problems though. I keep my feelings to myself on the whole.

My fiancé first then my mil! Sometimes I call my closest friend but my fiancé is the best one to speak to. He is understanding, listens and helps me calm down!

Dh.

If it was about him then mumsnet or the Samaritans.

Top of my list every time would be my DH.

Next would be a friend who, whilst i don't see her very often, would always be there for me. Either over the phone or in person. I feel lucky that I've got a few friends that i could call on in times of need. Failing that there's my MIL.

My own mum would probably be the last person i'd call as she lacks empathy.

My mum! she lets me cry/stress/etc then usually talks me through the problem so that even if im upset still, i have a plan to counteract it- that and she will probably put the dogs on me for cuddles if i havent already grabbed them!!!!

DH, 5 friends, DD.
Reading through this thread I realize how lucky I am.
My DM and DSis are the last people I'd call. They'd love me to be upset.

Mum
DH
Friend 1
Eldest sis in law
Mil
Eldest sis
Friend 2
Friend 3

I feel very lucky.

Nobody.

My mum and my husband.

I would then call my best friend or my sister if those two weren't available. I have a lot of people I know I could call if I needed them. My auntie, my other siblings, work colleagues and a few other friends.

I have a few close friends I could call on. If it's an emergency eg I'm upset and stressed I go to my in laws they are good at calming me down!

Actually I have a bit of a catch-22 with friends as if I was very upset and called one I'd just lose interest in my self instantly and want to know what they were up to