Who could you call if you were upset?

[Sarahandduck18]

Just had a random thought that if I was upset and needed/wanted someone to call and speak to over the phone or in person (not text/online) there’s no one that I feel I could ask this of.

I have friends but only have occasional meet ups.

I get on with colleagues but none I’d classas real friends who there’d be contact if one or the other left.

Family is a no.

Is this normal?

Who do you call on?

Ghostbusters!

Or my mum or boyfriend

My DH. My parents. My sister. I have good friends who wouldn't mind if I called and would be supportive but not a best friend.

Those of you who have written that you have no-one, does that upset you or make you feel lonely if you think about it? Or is it something that doesn't bother you that much?

It's tricky to answer because I don't really do phone calls.
But if i really had to partner,my best friend and another close friend.
Face to face partner and close friend.
I normally just text though and that adds it up to 5 possibly 6 depending what it's about.

I have no one.

Yes, it’s very painful. The only solution is to keep busy and not dwell on it.

If I were you I would call one of the friends you see occasionally. They probably care more about you than you realize.

I agree with this.

Try calling them just for a chat now and then and see how it goes. If it matters to you it might be good to try to naturally develop a deeper friendship.

Luloooo it doesn't bother me, because I can trust people on a couple of other threads on here.

Lots of sad responses here. From those who literally have no one 😓 to those who say they don’t want To hear anybody else’s sadness 🤔. Life is hard , we all need to hear and be heard.

95% of the time I can deal with it but the other 5% it’s particularly painful. Today was one of those days

My mum, aunt, friend, cousin. In reality, I'd probably only call my mum or off load on to one of my cats - poor buggers! Wish I could call my sister, but sadly she doesn't care enough.

My mother or my brother first and foremost, I'd feel comfortable calling them in the middle of the night if I had to and then if they weren't free I have a couple of friends that I’d feel comfortable calling but not in the middle of the nigh unless it was an absolute energency. I have actually been really upset and called my mum at 4 am, she then called my brother who promptly came round to comfort me. I haven't thought about it much but I guess that makes me very lucky.

I too, think it's really sad to have no one.
I think so many people are so lonely in this age of mass social media, online friends and faceless connections. It's sad that sometiems that's at the expense of real relationships. And then there's all those people who don't use social media who are still quite alone. I'll never forget that video I saw on Facebook of a few old people who sometimes spent a whole week without talking to anyone. It brought me to tears.

I have no one

I wonder if there was this much loneliness and social isolation in the past.

It's now the end of the summer holidays, apart from in a shop I haven't spoken to another adult for six weeks.

My nana or my DH. Thats it. No friends.

First person I’d call is my DH then my Mum

DH, my mum, my sister, my dad. Fortunately I could probably also call my MIL and a couple of friends as well.

I’m lucky now to have so many, but I’ve had stages in my life where I’ve had no one even DH, it’s lonely as hell.

All I can say is things change so quickly, even a year or so ago my list wouldn’t have had any friends on but now it does.

No one.
My family aren't particularly supportive tbh. I just suck it up.

My dd.

Practically I have lots of friends through church mainly who would happily drop stuff to help me out (even though I'd still be reluctant to ask) - they've been a great practical support in times of need, eg helping with the school run when I wasn't able to drive, making meals for our family when I was miscarrying etc.

But emotionally, I struggle. I have one friend who I like to think would understand and listen - she always tells me to ring if I need to chat - but she has insane amounts of stuff going on in her own life right now and when we do meet up, the conversation tends to end up being all about her problems (which are bigger than mine tbf). I've felt very down lately about a combination of stuff and have realised there's nobody I really feel I can offload on, despite having quite a few friends, and that realisation has made me even more sad.

Sometimes people surprise you. I had a friend I'd barely seen for ages (very different stages in our lives). My boyfriend had split with me a week before so I was in a bit of a mess any way. I'd popped outside to take the bin out. Taken my keys but not my phone. The lock on the front door jammed so I was stuck outside with no phone no money but did have my car keys. My mum and dad were away on holiday. Arrived at my friends house sobbing and talking gibberish. Only person I knew close by so literally just arrived on her doorstep crying. She was great and through being completely vulnerable with her it reignited our friendship and I value her so much more for it. I think seeing my weaknesses made me more approachable in return.

Years ago I had a premature baby in special care. I knew a lot of people but felt like I didn’t have any close friends at all as I was quite new to the area. I sent a message on Facebook to any “friends” living nearby explaining my situation and listing the ways we needed help. I was overwhelmed by the number of people I barely knew who stepped up and offered lifts, meals, babysitting, shopping, and moral support.

I have never forgotten these people who came to our rescue on a moments notice.

I know a lot of people would be too embarrassed to ask people they don’t know well for help but I’m glad I did.

I feel extremely lucky, i have poor mental health (panic disorder and depression that could possibly be bipolar2 according to gp but can't face pushing for a diagnosis right now) my dp is a mental health nurse so is s wonderful source of help, dm has suffered with anxiety and depression forever so is always on the other end of the phone for a chat and very understanding. I tend to isolate myself for months at a time but have a couple of friends who know this so don't hold and resentment when I'm 'mia' but will still drop the odd text to check im ok and would welcome me with open arms even of no contact for months!

I dont know what i would do without this support so it breaks my heart when people have no one!

I always offer a hand to hold however to anyone who might need it even a complete stranger, so please don't think you won't ever have anyone - there's always someone somewhere! Feel free to pm me if you ever need a chat about anything (I dont know how to retrieve because I use the app but I'm sure it can't be rocket science!

DH, DM or a cousin I am close to. I don’t really have close friends.