Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

DD (7) bullied for wearing a crop top vest

95 replies

OnlyYou09 · 28/08/2018 12:15

Gutted my little girl told me when they change for PE, particular boys slag her off for wearing a “bra”. It’s made her so self conscious.

Should she wear long vests? Have I fucked up? 🙈🙈🙈

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 28/08/2018 12:16

Should they be getting changed together at that age? Speak to the teacher. Have you asked your dd if others wear crop tops?

ErrolTheDragon · 28/08/2018 12:17

It's bullying, sexist bullying at that. Report it to the school. They may want to consider whether they should be segregating the sexes for changing a bit sooner.

HoleyCoMoley · 28/08/2018 12:19

What are they supposed to wear for p.e. I don't think a crop top is suitable. She'd be better in a long best or polo shirt. Do boys and girls get changed together.

Theimpossiblegirl · 28/08/2018 12:21

Of course a crop vest is fine. It's underwear. Have a word with the teacher.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 28/08/2018 12:21

they shouldn't be getting changed together, and yes it is sexist bullying.
on the other hand I don't think a 'crop top vest' is suitable for a 7 year old.

NerrSnerr · 28/08/2018 12:22

@HoleyCoMoley I think the OP means a cropped top as underwear, so she wears them under her clothes and the boys are seeing it getting changed.

OP- what does she want to wear?

Timeforabiscuit · 28/08/2018 12:23

Absolutely speak to the school, the kids likely dont have the maturity about peoples changing bodies at any rate, but at least the teacher can start setting the tone of acceptable behaviour.

My dds are 8 and 10, what really helped was gently talking about changing bodies for boys and girls so knowing that boys have changes too but they come at slightly different times cheered them up. They felt empowered a bit more after that knowing it was going to happen to everyone at different times and so could call out the nastier elements.

The usbourne "whats happening to me" book has been frequently leafed through by both of them and prompted questions too.

NerrSnerr · 28/08/2018 12:23

Why isn't a cropped top vest suitable for a 7 year old? It's just a short vest. I would go with what she wants to wear.

bambootwentytwo · 28/08/2018 12:24

I don’t see why a seven year old would need a crop top? I’d think a long vest or nothing at that age

Original poster
OnlyYou09 · 28/08/2018 12:24

Yeah I mean a short vest as opposed to a cropped sports top! (No way)

OP posts:
hugoagogo · 28/08/2018 12:25

You have not fucked up.
Those boys are just being horrible.
Your dd should wear whatever underwear she likes, my dd wore long vests at that age to keep warm, when she was a bit older she wore crop tops to cover up her chest and because the other girls did.
It really shouldn't matter, but children will pick on anything.Sad

MerryMarigold · 28/08/2018 12:27

My dd is the opposite. She's 9 and dying for a 'bra' ie. Cropped vest as she s no boobs. They got changed with boys in y4, not sure about this year. They're just picking up on something different about your dd, but it's easy enough not to wear one.

NerrSnerr · 28/08/2018 12:27

I really don't get why people are saying she shouldn't wear a cropped top. It's just a short vest. Could someone explain what the issue is?

MerryMarigold · 28/08/2018 12:32

Nerr, just because it's attracting attention. Yes, they are wrong to bully her/ point out she's wearing something different, but if it's not a necessary item of clothing, why does she wear it? I assume the boys aren't teasing the girls who don't wear one.

Idontmeanto · 28/08/2018 12:33

You’ve not fucked up. You report to the school that your dd is being bullied and require them to safeguard her. If the class teacher can not do this effectively escalate it. Seven is not too little for breast buds and the need for a crop top, or for you to show her that you will challenge innappropriate sexist behaviour directed at her.
“And why are you looking, pervert!” Loud enough to silence a room could be a useful phrase to teach her.

NerrSnerr · 28/08/2018 12:34

Merry if the OP's daughter chooses to not wear one/ wear long vests then that's her choice but there is nothing wrong with a 7 year old wearing a cropped top like pps have said.

Seeline · 28/08/2018 12:35

All the girls were wearing crop tops under their polos by the start of KS2 when DD was that age. Many of them wouldn't have felt comfortable wearing nothing as they were starting to develop.

They also didn't have separate changing until Y6 which I thought far too late, but didn't have the facilities for it elsewhere in the school.

Speak to the teacher. The boys shouldn't be able to talk to the girls like that.

Winchester89 · 28/08/2018 12:36

Report to the school for bullying .

Re getting changed together, we got changed in the classroom for the whole of primary school and were never separated.

rainingcatsanddog · 28/08/2018 12:37

You've not fucked up but I'm surprised that your school has mixed changing at 7 yo.

Idontmeanto · 28/08/2018 12:39

Only make sure that when the teacher then asks her to explain her understanding of the word “pervert” she can give an age appropriate, articulate response.

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/08/2018 12:42

Of course you haven't fucked up. Those kids are bring horrible. I would report to the teacher asap.

Your poor dd :(

And no there's nothing unsuitable about a crop top.

Juells · 28/08/2018 12:46

Bullies.

PieAndPumpkins · 28/08/2018 12:49

No you're fine, it's a vest at the end of the day! FFS kids are vile sometimes. Report it to school and suggest they strongly look at separating the boys and girls as they clearly can't be trusted to ensure appropriate behaviour from the boys.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 28/08/2018 12:50

Why the fuck are girls and boys still changing together at that age? Totally inappropriate.

Orangecake123 · 28/08/2018 12:51

You haven't done anything wrong. Your dd should be able to wear whatever she wants to under her shirt.I'd talk to the teacher.