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Original poster

DD (7) bullied for wearing a crop top vest

95 replies

OnlyYou09 · 28/08/2018 12:15

Gutted my little girl told me when they change for PE, particular boys slag her off for wearing a “bra”. It’s made her so self conscious.

Should she wear long vests? Have I fucked up? 🙈🙈🙈

OP posts:

Tattletale · 28/08/2018 12:53

In my DC's school, the girls and boys still get changed for PE together at 10/11. They are only segregated for swimming. Not particularly happy about them getting changed together but the HT sees no problem with it.

Apple23 · 28/08/2018 12:57

Report to the teacher. Before the next PE session.

Is this bullying (repeated behaviour which is intended to hurt someone either emotionally or physically) or disrespectful, sexist behaviour from the boys, possibly indicative of the prevailing climate in the classroom?

Wearing a crop top vest is actually irrelevant, it's not inappropriate wear, and the boys would find the excuse of something else to comment on as the cause is their behaviour and attitudes, not your daughter's clothing.

Rebecca36 · 28/08/2018 12:57

How old is your little girl? After a certain age, regardless of physical maturity, I don't believe boys and girls should have to change together.
However, even if she is still little, no-one should be teasing her about clothes. Presumably she isn't the only one wearing a cropped top?
Speak to teacher.

Are there not toilet cubicles she could change in?

ARoomSomewhere · 28/08/2018 12:58

My DC's old skl still changed together aged 10.

Report it - its bullying - sexist at that.

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 28/08/2018 12:59

Tattletale that's appalling. My DD is 11 and has the body of a young woman, her boobs are bigger than many adults'. She would be utterly mortified to change in front of boys and has been wearing an actual bra for a couple of years now. What about periods etc? Many girls that age will be dealing with leaks and pads etc - they shouldn't have to be exposed to boys while still learning to deal with it themselves. I would not be happy with that and would insist DD changes in the toilets or something.

SkiGirl007 · 28/08/2018 13:05

Our school got the boys to change separately from year 5 onwards. Some girls were starting periods age 9 so yes they do need crop tops/bra tops some as young as 7. Speak to the school it’s more about having respect for each other the teacher should be clamping down on it as bullying respecting others& not a clothing issue.

OctaviaOctober · 28/08/2018 13:06

If the 7 year old boys have already started picking apart the girls' appearances it's time for them to change separately. Ask the school about it.

Jaxhog · 28/08/2018 13:06

Why should girls change what they wear just because boys are commenting on it? Surely the boys are at fault and should be pulled up on it? If the boys are making inappropriate comments they should be separated from the girls. End of.

toothtruth · 28/08/2018 13:07

report it. Its sexist bullying and those boys need someone to have a word with them about it before they take that attitude further on in their lives.
I had breast buds at that age and wore a crop top vest so its wasnt as visible... I wouldve been too hot in a long vest, dont think ive ever worn a long vest in my life!
Surely a crop top is a very normal thing for a tween girl to wear just before she moves onto bras?

Racecardriver · 28/08/2018 13:08

Why does she wear a crop top? I thought their only purpose was to cover up budding breasts (?). If its nothing her just send her without a vest or a long vest.

deste · 28/08/2018 13:12

I don’t see how wearing nothing would help. They are obviously changing in the same room so surely seeing her with nothing on would be worse. Most little girls wear crop top vests and it’s nothing to do with development.

dementedpixie · 28/08/2018 13:12

Why shouldn't she wear a cropped vest if she wants to? Why should she change what she wears due to immature boys making stupid remarks?

StealthNinjaMum · 28/08/2018 13:13

Please report it, otherwise it starts a lifetime of boys thinking it is acceptable to judge girls bodies and clothes and girls being ashamed of their bodies and clothes.

eyycarumba · 28/08/2018 13:13

We got changed together throughout primary school 15 years ago - and I was in a bra from the age of 8. The boys are being immature idiots...because they're young and probably don't have much experience around girls in crop tops/bras or have had what's appropriate explained to them. You should report it to the teacher so it can be addressed with the whole class, it won't be long till her friends are wearing similar.

Angelthekingcharles · 28/08/2018 13:16

At our school most of the girls wear these when they feel too old for vests so that their top half is not naked when getting changed for PE

Hyppolyta · 28/08/2018 13:19

Of course the child should not change what she wears!

Report the bullying and as lots have said, segregate the boys and girls.

At DDs primary school the boys and girls changed together until year 5. The girls organised and staged a protest and refused to undress until they got their own space

I had no idea until after, but was very proud.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 28/08/2018 13:19

Reading your post OP makes me think of this story that has done the rounds a few times on the internet (apologies I've included the link from the DM site but there are others out there):
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4376076/Mother-s-response-daughter-hitting-pupil.html

Enidblyton1 · 28/08/2018 13:25

Nothing wrong with cropped vests on a 7 year old, but they are completely pointless! They don’t exactly keep you warm like a long vest or cover anything up at that age. But if your DD feels more comfortable wearing one, then it shouldn’t be ridiculed. Perhaps it is time for the boys and girls to change separately?
I remember being about 9 at an all girls school and we all wore cropped tops (definitely not at 7) and they were like a badge of honour. Anyone NOT wearing one was laughed at by the other girls.

GreyGauntlet · 28/08/2018 13:29

Was she wearing it underneath a tee shirt?
Or was the cropped top her outer wear?

dementedpixie · 28/08/2018 13:30

OP has already said it was underwear, not outerwear

Original poster

OnlyYou09 · 28/08/2018 13:42

Yes it’s underwear
She got some recently cause her friends had them and she liked the design. I saw no issue cause it’s just a short vest in her age range but I don’t remember having them myself as a child.

it just kills me to hear that she is being shamed like that by boys because I strive to bring her up unashamed of her body.

Where do these lads even learn such a behaviour though?

OP posts:

ourkidmolly · 28/08/2018 13:42

Surely mixed changing at 7 is fine? Why are we trying to over sexualise children. Think by 9/10 it’s becoming less common. Crop tops are horrible in under 10s unless required for breast development. They clearly don’t keep you warn so what’s the point? Vests only for my children and then into crop tops and bras. Report buys to teacher though. They’re just mimicking societal obsession sadly. Is your dd over weight? Does she need the support?

Original poster

OnlyYou09 · 28/08/2018 13:45

No not at all, she just likes them. I don’t see the problem with them as she is layered up. My older DD wears them too so that’s influenced her. They have a mix of short and long vests but they generally choose the short ones.

OP posts:

YetAnotherSpartacus · 28/08/2018 13:45

Why are we trying to over sexualise children

We aren't. The boys were making comments about a perfectly innocent item of clothing.

They clearly don’t keep you warn so what’s the point
It's not winter all year ..

EwItsAHooman · 28/08/2018 13:46

Is it this sort of style, OP? Absolutely nothing wrong with them, they're short vests for little girls. DD is 6yo and has these exact ones, she doesn't like long vests because they're a hassle to tuck in after going to the loo and tend to peep out the bottom of tshirts/tops which annoys her no end for some reason.

Definitely have a word with the Head, the boys need a talk about making inappropriate remarks.

Mixed changing is the norm here until year five.

DD (7) bullied for wearing a crop top vest

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