How does your inner voice or voices talk to you?

[Ignoramusgiganticus]

I call myself a bloody idiot if I do something stupid but generally my inner voice is fairly quiet. I might replay conversations or scenarios over a few times late at night but generally I'm busy and I don't hear a lot going on in my head.

Tonight it transpires a friend has constant dialogues going on in her mind between a "good" voice and a "bad" voice and she has to adjudicate over who "wins". It sounds tiring and hard work.

How does your inner voice or voices talk to you?

My inner voice IS me, so I don’t understand how it can work together with you? Interesting

My inner voice is me, but like a separate me.
For example, when faced with an essay question I’m struggling with then I’d have a conversation with myself, we'd agree to both look into separate parts of the problem then come together with what we’ve found. Sometimes I can’t figure it out and then suddenly I’ll get a “fission, I’ve figured it out! This is the answer..” .
Perhaps it’s just a more theatrical way of thinking.

Ignoramusgiganticus - I think that is partly it. You can also internalise other voices too. So, I have internalised the voice of one of my parents, which is incredibly critical and demeaning. It constantly tells me I am not trying hard enough, not achieving enough, that I need to raise the hoop higher and jump through it again.

So, I have the lizard brain voice, which tells me to eat the cake, then the critical parental voice telling me that I am greedy if I eat it and the forefront part of my brain desperately trying to intervene to ask if I am actually hungry. Then there is the 'socialised in the 1980s' voice in my brain telling me that you can never be thin enough and the' accepting myself in the noughties' voice telling me that if I want cake, why shouldn't I have it and the 'I want to be liked' voice telling me that my colleagues will think I'm standoffish if I decline the cake!

How I ever make a decision about anything is beyond me.

How I ever make a decision about anything is beyond me

I guess this is my friends version of having to adjudicate as to who wins!

It does sound exhausting.

Margot
Are all those voices actually different voices that sound different or is it just the positive voice (multiple being kind to your self angle arguments) vs negative voice (multiple harsh/critical arguments)?

In other words isn't it just a jumble of lots of different positive and negative points?

I try to be firm but fair with myself but I am often too indulgent ("oh go on have that chocolate bar, you're tired and deserve a treat") followed by too critical ("god, you have no self control at all do you!").

I get self hatey more when I remember embarrassing things I've said and done. Most of the time I can pretend to myself I am awesome though and only sometimes remember what a very very flawed human being I am.

Most of the time I can pretend to myself I am awesome though and only sometimes remember what a very very flawed human being I am.

I think this is me. I forgive myself for my mistakes and aren't too hard on myself. I don't expect myself to be perfect. I just get on with doing and being. My mind is quite quiet. I don't question my thoughts, just accept them for what they are as they are generally positive. If I do cock up I mentally shrug my shoulders and move on with life.

The only time I struggle to control my inner voice is if something is out of my control. For example I was awaiting medical test results and was catastrophising then. I'd immediately counterbalance with the "there is more chance that it's something simple" argument but that rational side of me was completely shot down by the "you could die" voice.

I guess I do stay in my comfort zone a bit too much though. I suspect my inner negative voice would have more to say if I pushed myself out of my comfort zone.

Ignoramusgiganticus - I'm not entirely sure, but those are the different kinds of 'voices' for want of a better word I hear nearly every time I try to make a decision about anything. Some voices are louder than others, if that makes sense and I will be more likely to listen to those than the quieter possibly nicer ones.

Mine is intensely critical of me, hugely judgemental (also of me, not others) and frankly really fucking whiney. This thread is actually making me wonder why I still listen to it, I had been doing the conscious countering with something positive thing with reasonable success but just realised I’ve stopped again. Timely reminder OP, thanks

I think upthread kello called it the inner child and inner parent, nagging you to get up when you want to lie in. But I suppose that inner parent can be critical or firm but fair, which makes a crucial difference.

I'm finding everyones experience fascinating, although it's a shame and very sad that a lot of peoples voices are so negative. I'm thinking that a lot of people with quieter inner voices aren't bothering to post though as they don't hear as many arguments in their head.

Really interesting thread. My inner voice is quite critical of me.

Dh says he has not got an inner voice, which surprised me.

My inner voice says,"Don't even try to get into that parking space - the car's too wide!"

CRASH!!!!!!!!!

My inner voice is the same as my voice but in my head. But it's mostly negative, telling me how rubbish I am

Mine nags me in a briskly cheerful way: come on Kalinka! Time to get up! Get showered! coffee’s on, we’re leaving in an hour! Weirdly, although I’m an English native speaker, I’m fluent in German, and my inner voice sometimes speaks Deutsch too, and bits of other languages I know. Same personality, just more umlauts. There’s nearly always some kind of inner jukebox going on in the background too.

Mine is very calming. My invoice is always assessing things or reasoning. It rationalises situations a lot i.e. what is the worst case scenario and will I really face it - what is my plan if I have to face it and so on. This somehow calms me.

Like shit.

I give myself inner talk pep talks all the time

It is like I have a positivity coach inside my head, who is always forgiving, pragmatic and positive

Occasionally I get "the fear" or am feeling really down on myself, I can tumble a bit down a negative spiral but then my positive life coach comes back saying everyone makes mistakes and to take some positive action

A lot of it is my mum's voice, she is very un-judgmental and pragmatic (most things are not the end of the world, after all)

I guess I am lucky! Apart from when I had PND for 2 years, when something in my brain seemed to have disabled my "coach"

Part of it luck, part of it habit I guess?