Make up a story about how you know the above user?

[SteveHo]

just for fun.

CormoranStrike helped me get my bra back from Stevie Richie after I threw it at him at his concert. She swapped it for her own

@Bettercallsaul1 is actually telling the truth there.

@CormoranStrike I bumped into this lovely person and she told me all about a crazy rottweiller she met. I didn't believer her, she is a bit bat shit crazy! But we are now good friends! We drink wine a lot together. She is an amazing singer!

I met Iputthescrewinthetuna at a fancy dress party. Neither of us could be arsed with a costume so we went as Muggles.

Knittedfairies arrested me when I was trying to pinch a tin of tuna at Waitrose. My pussy was starving, as was I, but as usual, I never put myself first.

I met Cormoran when we both worked in a kennels one summer. Unfortunately she had no knowledge at all about dogs - breed or temperament - and finally gave up to become a time traveller.

@bettercallsaul1 in her spare time Saul is a crochet queen.

She’s been mentioned in the press for her crocheted Eiffel Tower, especially regarding her creative use of kebab skewers and I cooked spaghetti to reinforce the structure.

I pointed out to CormoranStrike that cooked spaghetti wouldn’t do much to reinforce the structure. She didn’t take it well, and took out a restraining order.

I was the person who sorted out the restraining order for @Knittedfairies
We had to lock ourselves in my office as she threw spaghetti up at my windows!
It stuck, it was cooked

I was the window cleaner who had to scrape the cooked spaghetti off Iputthethescrewinthetuna's windows. What a task that was! And, when I tried to eat it later with a nice Dolmio sauce, it was inedible as Knittedfairies hadn't added any salt.

I'm Better's gynaecologist.

This is true, I'm Philomena's personal assistant. I schedule her weekly affairs with a certain Mr Clarkson..

I met SneakyGremlins when we both entered the best fruit cake entry at the local country fair.

We were both disqualified as we got very drunk on gin and might of heckled the guest judge, who was Paul Hollywood.

Neither of us has been able to stomach gin since.

DoingTheBestICan was having a steamy affair with my boss at work. I walked in on them snogging in the stationery cupboard.

I worked with ScreamingValentina in the same office and was kept out of the stationery cupboard when DoingTheBestICan was snogging the boss. Because I couldn't get a new stapler, a page fell out of the Top Secret file I sent to Head Office that day with plans to avert a threatened takeover. The company is now under new management and we have all been made redundant.

I met @bettercallsaul1 when her dog escaped her garden, living only a few roads away I returned the dog but when I got there the front door was ajar, I let myself in and and heard some noise in the basement and found her running a drugs factory, told her I wouldn’t turn her in if she cut me in 😂😂

Sophisticatedsarcasm and i met in jail where we bonded over our love of folding napkins into origami frogs.
We had a good thing going until she betrayed me for someone who could fold tea towels into chickens.

NoTea's my secret lover.

@PhilomenaButterfly is my next door neighbour, she's a wacky old girl, has great parties and looks after all the animals when we are away!!

we met in a tearoom I was distracted by the waitress offering more tea and she stole my scone!

@MrsMotherHen and I met at Rehab for Sex Addicts.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys used to be my Geography teacher, and we met again several years later at bricklaying classes. We were both a bit shit and after the third lesson we sloped off to the pub and never went back.

When I first met @BreconbeBuggered she was working with Barbara Woodhouse to training dogs for crafts.

She still responds very well to a whistle.

I play tennis with Cormoran.

We met at a somewhat disastrous out-of-the-box poppadom cook off. In hindsight, the llamas were a poor judgement call.