How often do you and your partner go out without the kids?

[YerAuntFanny]

Where do you go?
Who looks after your kids?

Yes, I'm being nosey!

Once a year if we're lucky. Would be willing to pay a babysitter, but the DC are rarely asleep before 8.30 or 9 and the 2 year old won't let anyone except me put her to bed.

I can remember going out when my children were small, my daughter screaming the house down. We had a fantastic older lady who cleaned for us and also babysat. She used to kick us out saying 'off you go she'll be fine ' 15 years later my daughter is looking after her younger brother when we go out. It's amazing how they adjust to someone else putting them to bed without scarring them for life !!

Finances permitting, I think it is in fact wise to actively go and find babysitter, to have someone to call on. When I was pregnant with DC2, I got a local teen to come and play with DC1 one afternoon a week. It progressed to her taking DC1 to the playground, and being a ‘mother’s help’ during school holidays, and then evening babysitting. (There were times I got her in just so I could do a spring-clean without kids underfoot.).

When she moved away for uni, she introduced me to her college-age friend; then her friend’s younger sister.

Without a babysitter, I wouldn’t have been able to continue a hobby, go to night class, get a helping hand if I wasn’t feeling well, etc.

I’m now separated with four children and a useless ex, and it is a treat to be able to accept invitations, continue my hobby once a week, and maybe some day go on a date.

My eldest will be a teenager soon, and in a few years time, I’ll be encouraging her to put up a notice in the local shop or through neighbours’ letterboxes offering her services.

My very first sitter is now a qualified paediatric nurse. She still calls in occasionally. I feel a sitter is a really valuable resource especially if you are a SAHM and you don’t have family near. Well worth £20 a week. I’d prioritise a sitter over a cleaner.

Next week my hobby resumes, so I am on the lookout for a new sitter, non-exam year, to do two hours on a Thursday. It’s that or EastEnders.

When our kids were tiny, we only went out for special occasions and the in-laws usually babysat. They looked after our two one day a week, so we were very confident that things would be OK, but it felt cheeky to ask them too often given how much they helped us already (and they commented on the lack of housework that we did...)

When the kids were a bit older and slept reliably, we swapped babysitting with our NCT group (we still meet up even now our babies are teenagers!), we've also paid for a babysitter who came recommended to us.

Now the kids can look after themselves, so we go out a bit more 😁

Emoji fail! Our nights out are 😁, not 😬

:-D
!!

The only time I ever asked another Mum-friend to babysit was when I’d a hospital emergency. I personally am happier with someone I pay whom I can instruct; it is a cleaner relationship that doesn’t require reciprocation.

fontofnoknowledge I completely agree with everything you’ve said.