How often do you and your partner go out without the kids?

[YerAuntFanny]

Where do you go?
Who looks after your kids?

Yes, I'm being nosey!

Not everyone knows responsible teenagers well enough to trust their DC's with them, not everyone can afford regular babysitters and not everyone feels comfortable using strangers to babysit!

My eldest is a hard kid to deal with at the best of times so I couldn't leave him with just anyone and tbh most people would refuse to have him a second time (social anxiety, potential ASD and OCD are not a good mix!)

Once in a blue moon.
We had a weekend away together last summer, the first since becoming parents in 2006. There hasn't been a child free night or evening since. We both get free time but not together- it's when the dc are in bed that we have to make count.

That's all fine, but then don't complain about how you "can't go out". Choosing not to use babysitters does not equal can't go out.

Not saying you are doing that OP, but it happens a lot on here. "Oh I'm so sad we never go out, we don't have family to babysit, its so not fair". Yeah well the rest of us just get on with it and pay a babysitter!

But if you can't afford to pay and/or don't know anyone to babysit then you CAN'T go out

Rarely prior to the summer holidays! No family living close by and no obvious teenage baby sitter so we just didn't go

We've just started leaving 14 yr old DS in charge ( DS2 is 9) and it's great! We've had a meal out and a cinema trip. We don't pay anything, just count it as DS earning his pocket money

Don't know anyone? You find someone, that's the point. Recommendations from friends, etc. OF course you can.

If you can;t afford to go out then your problem isn't with babysitters, its with finances. Different issue entirely.

toomanychilder It's not that straight forward Many other factors involved as the OP has stated above.

My DC is disabled for example. Money issues is another. Going out can cost enough as it is without an added babysitting bill on top. Don't be so ignorant.

Very rarely. If dd2 goes on a sleepover then we might go out. I think that's happened just 3 times this year.

Dd1 is a pretty competent babysitter but we just don't bother. We're homebodies really.

I don't know ANYONE (yes, absolutely no one) who uses random babysitters, they use family or close friends so again not everyone has that.

We could afford to pay a babysitter (theoretically) or we could go out, probably wouldn't be able to do both which seems a bit counteractive really!

I don't know ANYONE (yes, absolutely no one) who uses random babysitters, they use family or close friends so again not everyone has that

I'm sure you do. It's very common, its what people have always done.

Whatever, if you don't want to, you don't have to. It's just a bit much when people choose not to and then complain how they never get to go out. Your choice!

Toomanychilder, hooray for you! I'm glad you were lucky enough to be able to find/afford a trusted person to look after yourself whenever you fancied but could you please try to accept that not everyone has the same options as you!

It's definitely not a bloody choice to be sat at home yet another night at the end of a particularly stressful week/month/year when all we want to do is escape for a few hours respite but there is no one able/wiling to step in, so yes I will continue to complain about this shitty situation.

@Luckynumberthree.

About once a month. I always have to organise it.

So it's NOT just me who always has to organise the babysitting. It's so strange how our partners can't manage to do it!

We go out about every other month. We've just started asking DD [13] to look after DS [10] for a short time if we're going somewhere v. local and getting home early. If it's not close by, we have a babysitter.

Some people have expressed reservations about babysitters, but I've
found some great ones among the older siblings of my DCs friends. We already know the family, so it's more comfortable.

From 2 months old for older child and younger one at 10 days
Went out with DH to restaurant/bar locally. Out of house about 3-4 hours when they were really little
Did this every week for years. Went mid week and places that wouldn't take forever to serve us then dash to pub
No relatives to help so got nursery workers from DC's nursery
It was bliss

Every week! We have a regular babysitter arranged. Our marriage preparation suggested a weekly date night, either home or out.

We used to occasionally use the assistants from our childminder, but they keep going off and having their own babies. Selfish! (JOKING)

Every other weekend when DS is with his dad and if we fancy it we may go out during the week whilst we plays sport. Or just DTD —lowers tone—

Very rarely. However going out for tea tonight as at my parents. They live 170 miles away so not a regular option.

Sometimes go out in the day when they are at school.

No one to leave them with, and difficult due to ds and his autism.

About once a month. We either ask grandparents or use a babysitter or now they are older (11 and 8) I ask their friends parents if they can come over. This works well and I have paid it forward for years with numerous kids in our house and loads of sleepovers.

Friends of mine take a day or afternoon off every three months or so when the kids are in school. They go for a nice lunch and spend some time together before both going and picking the kids up.

We struggle to find time and money... we make an effort, if we haven't gone out, to have a take away and order a film every other week when the kids have gone to bed. If we do go out it's usually my parents or my sister who babysits, we've never paid for one but I have a large family so lots of support. If we do go out it's usually to the cinema or for a meal, sometimes mini golf.

If we had to pay a babysitter we wouldn't be able to afford to go out, we wouldn't see it as worth the money when we can do something just as nice at home when the kids are in bed, massages, the deed, treats and a movie

Our marriage preparation suggested a weekly date night, either home or out.

Who/what on Earth is marriage preparation?

OP, we were the same, never knew anyone and i wouldn't leave them with a babysitter I didn't know. We used to have sneaky lunch dates every few weeks one they were at school/nursery

Once every 2 or 3 months. Sometimes we don't even go out!

Our vicar wanted us to do some sort of preparation for marriage. We did this:

themarriagecourses.org/try/the-marriage-preparation-course/

It was very practical. We talked about money, sharing household tasks, children and family life, our own families, how to deal with conflict, listening skills. Lots of other stuff.

They do one for people who are married too. Highly recommended.

Three times in six years.