What's the funniest/jaw dropping/shocking complaint you've come across?

[LyndorCake]

I love these sorts of stories.

My favourite one was from when I worked on cruise ships. One of the guests asked my colleague if the staff also slept on the ships or if we went home each night. My colleagues joked that we got took home by a helicopter each night and brought back in the morning. He genuinely thought the guest was playing along but turns out he was very wrong. The guest complained at the end of the cruise that the helicopter collecting and dropping off the staff had kept her up every night and that the company should consider other means to ferry the staff around.

Please tell me your stories? I'm having a crap day!

A man onve complained to my manager that I had ruined his daughters 18th birthday because I asked for ID. Apparently if someone comes in with their parents and they vouch for them it should be enough

Consider yourself lucky mate cos now it's think 21/25 shed have been id'd for the next 7 years.back then I only had to worry about 18.

Not like police ever sent in underagers to test us or anything...

notalwaysright.com/
These are hilarious.

I worked at Argos and someone wrote to the Managing Director of the company that I didn't ask if the customer wanted a carrier bag for a Wardrobe. I was given a verbal warning as it was their protocol. My manager was so embarrassed about it.
From then on all the staff were advised to offer a bag whatever the customer purchased.

Parent of 13 year old rang the emergency hotline at 11:30pm on a residential trip to say her daughter had seen an ant in her room.

Not a complaint as such but when I worked at a shop I had a man ask if he could buy a frying pan, try it out to make sure it would be big enough and return it if not.

As a teacher the most common one is "He's lost 4 jumpers now, can you have a look for them?" Me- "Of course, have they got his name in?" Parent- "No, but they're blue aged 4-5"

Took a rather nit picky new partner on a weekend away to our family caravan in the lakes. He complained all weekend about the fact that the roads in the lakes were "too bumpy" he was referring to the fact that they were built over hills!!!
He didn't last.

I'm a Parish Clerk so I get quite a few complaints as I have three parishes.

However, the most recent one was from a villager was about various areas which needed tidying up - most of which was beyond my control - the best of which was that the cherry trees (one of which was in a private garden and the other on MoD land) shouldn't disperse their fruit over the pavements because the stones were so dangerous to walk on; the pavements were also on private land.

Not the funiest/ most jaw dropping - maybe eyebrow raising -

Some friends of my brother brought an apple pie from M&S - a 'delicious' apple pie. They enjoyed it and finished it, then went back to M&S and said that though they had eaten it, it wasn't 'delicious' and felt they should have their money back. They got it!

My mum had an acquaintance who was a professional complainer. It was before the internet and he used to write letters as well as complain at the time. One example was during a meal out he complained to the waitress that the salt and pepper pots were not correctly aligned with the menu holder and needed to be moved urgently, a distance of about 1.5cm (apparently). It was a local beefeater pub not the ritz. Other complaints were to his landlord because the boiler repair man touched his flat door and that the QE2 was not luxurious enough. Bizarre. Funnily enough he was not all that popular. My mum got fed up with the scenes every time we went anywhere and ended up NC.

Our neighbour complained that our trees were too high and she couldn't see into our garden. Er.....yes.

She also went in the village post office and complained that our builders were speaking in a foreign language.

This thread is classic.

I once read a 1 star review for a holiday cottage in Cornwall. Although the reviewer had a nice stay in the cottage, he left a negative review because it had taken him 13 hours to drive back to Newcastle on bank holiday Monday.

As if the traffic was something the cottage owner could be blamed for.

I used to work in a cafe that sold kids meals and stated clearly in bold capitals EXCLUDES DRINK in the menu.

Woman paying her bill asked why I was charging her for fruit shoots as they come with the meal. I apologise and point to the menu and say drinks aren't included. She says "yeah it says there drinks excluded" I reply "excluded means not included" "Oh well the menu should be more clear about that then " and looks at me like I'm a total idiot and storms off.

When a woman complained that she had to get off the tube because the driver was driving erratically. She didnt have a response when i told her it was an automatic train...

These are wonderful .
My friend lets out her house in a ski resort in the French alps.
The other year a couple demanded a refund because there hadn’t been enough snow to ski.

This thread is hilarious!

Best patient complaint - I was breaching his human rights because.... wait for it... he had vapourised his nicotine patch in order to smoke the nicotine and wouldn't give him a new one!

Here's other examples of how I have allegedly breached prisoner human rights

1. had medication stopped because they tried to sell it
2. detoxed them off street drugs
3. detoxed them off prescription drugs
4. by not giving them rectal diazepam when they were having a pseudo tonic-clonic seizure
5. by not telling officers they needed a single cell
6. by not getting remedial gym for someone that had a job and therefore could already go to the gym
7. offering to stitch someone up in prison so they didn't have to go to hospital
8. refusing to give a prisoner my own personal mug
9. refusing to give a prisoner chocolate

The list goes on and on...

I also worked at a holiday camp. The complaints came in thick and fast, usually the most ridiculous things. I think the cherry on the top was that a man came to report that his loo wouldn't flush. Asked the unit number to send someone over, only to realize it was a tent. They had peed in the cooler box and couldn't find where to flush.

Quick bump for more to be added

I worked in a shoe shop. One guy complained his sandals were faulty because they'd fallen apart. He'd had them for 15 years but they were clearly faulty as his previous pair had lasted 20 years.

Then there was the woman going mad because I wouldn't refund her faulty shoes. Yes they were indeed faulty. But they were Clarks shoes and we weren't the Clarks shoe shop. The Clarks shop was in the same position as us but one street over. She was having none of it.

Once I was quite busy at work with lots of different customers. I gave a gent some change and just said 'you're welcome' and walked away to sort out other customers that needed my help. I genuinely was quite busy and didn't wait for a response.

A little while later he called me back over and said 'did you say "you're welcome" to me?'
'Yes', I replied 'you said thank you and I said you're welcome'. I was a bit puzzled
'But I didn't say thank you' he said.

He thought I was being rude by insisting he use manners!! He complained to my boss about me and who listened really intently and in the end said to him 'So you want me to tell her off for being polite to you?' I luffs my boss

Had a new customer get a bit vicious when I refused him service recently. He'd had enough and I wanted him out. I was polite, explained it well. He told me he was going to glass me.

He tried to get over the bar at me so I radioed it through and they sent the police to escort him out. By this time his missus had joined in and told the police she was going to wait for me and make me pay.

I don't know what happened outside but they both ended up in cuffs and getting arrested. The next day they sent an email demanding free food and drink vouchers for the inconvenience.

I was in Dubrovnik, Croatia, and was insulted on behalf of all Croatians when an American tourist started calling a waiter "backward" because his bar didn't accept Euros. The poor waiter said Croatia is not in the Eurozone but this yank insisted they were. Other patrons had to put him straight.

I work on public transport in London and get many, many complaints each week. But one passenger complained that it was too dark in the tunnels. I said, yes, it's called the Underground for a reason. She asked if the tunnels could be lit up the same way as thd stations. Well, apart from tne signals and emergency lighting, no...

I was at work and Captain announced we had made up time and would be landing 20 mins before STA.

Huge eye roll from couple on row one. "But our taxi is coming at x time. What are we meant to do, this is ridiculous"

Just can't please em'

Husband is a postal worker. He once got a complaint from a woman who said that her letters were too creased up on delivery and that she had to iron them before opening them.