Lighthearted: Jobs or Clubs

[Shampaincharly]

I am in a boomerang throwing club . I hate it...but I keep going back .
I am thinking of joining a kite flying club...but there are strings attached!
You?

I am calling the incontinence club helpline, but they keep asking if I can hold.

I was going to join the Origami club, but apparently it's folded

I applied to NASA but they said I was too earthy .

I joined the tall and short people's dating club, but we didn't see eye to eye

I used to be a trapeze artist but they let me go .

I tried to join the hillclimbers association, but they told me to take a hike

I joined a theatre group but left after a few weeks. There was just too much drama.

I was part of the Xerox and Wurlitzer merger. We made reproductive organs.

I used to work for Jacob's - it was crackers.

Now I'm building ships - it's riveting

The anglers club told me to sling my hook.

When my time is up - I'm gonna see all my friends :-)

I used to sculpt nude statues - I think I hit rock bottom

I used to be a train driver ... but I went off the rails.

I used to dispense Viagra - it was quite exciting

I joined a gardening club, didn't like it, hedged my bets and left... They told me to give it thyme.

I used to be a seamstress but things just fell apart.

I'm in stitches at that!

I worked for a company making wigwams and yurts but had to leave. It was too tense.

I was sacked from an environmentally friendly laundering and drying business for being three sheets to the wind.

I used to be a dentist but it was no longer fulfilling.

I got fired from a job making stencils. I just wasn't cut out for it.

I wanted to be a castrato but I didn’t have the balls!

I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok nooooooooooooow (works better aloud!)

I used to have an allotment but lost the plot.