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Original poster

Lighthearted: Jobs or Clubs

62 replies

Shampaincharly · 23/08/2018 08:54

I am in a boomerang throwing club . I hate it...but I keep going back .
I am thinking of joining a kite flying club...but there are strings attached!
You?

OP posts:
TornFromTheInside · 23/08/2018 22:38

I used to be an elevator pick-pocket, but it was wrong on so many levels.

Original poster
Shampaincharly · 23/08/2018 22:42

I used to be a clairvoyant but there’s no future in it.

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Original poster
Shampaincharly · 23/08/2018 22:45

@TornFromTheInside , that reminds me I was in Schindler’s lift today!

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Original poster
Shampaincharly · 24/08/2018 07:12

The local butcher had a vacancy . I could not fillet . The steaks were high . Apparently , I did not meat expectations as my heart was not in it and I kidney be bothered . I was in a bloody mess overall . It was offal .

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prampushingdownthehighst · 24/08/2018 07:17

I entered a hairdressing competition but didn't make the cut.

Original poster
Shampaincharly · 24/08/2018 07:22

I used to be in a Scrabble club but I was always lost for words !

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TornFromTheInside · 24/08/2018 07:45

I used to do street performance as a clockwork toy but my collegues used to wind me up

TornFromTheInside · 24/08/2018 07:48

I used to work in ladder sales but it was a bit of a tall order

Original poster
Shampaincharly · 24/08/2018 08:04

I used to be in refuse collection but I was rubbish at it . I was always down in the dumps.

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Original poster
Shampaincharly · 24/08/2018 08:05

I used to be in a stamp collecting club but I was posted elsewhere.

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TornFromTheInside · 25/08/2018 00:21

I used to be a gynaecologist but was fired for sticking two fingers up.

TornFromTheInside · 25/08/2018 00:23

I used to work at B&Q but was fired when a customer demanded "I want decking" - I knocked him out.

NotMeNoNo · 25/08/2018 00:34

I used to be a drilling engineer but it was boring.

Bugger that's true

Original poster
Shampaincharly · 25/08/2018 08:08

I used to be a lumberjack but I could no longer hack it. I was given the axe. Told to log off.

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Original poster
Shampaincharly · 25/08/2018 08:10

I to be a toilet cleaner , so constantly flushed it sent me round the bend .

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Original poster
Shampaincharly · 25/08/2018 10:04

used

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Original poster
Shampaincharly · 25/08/2018 16:51

I used to work in a rubber factory but I was not very stretched .

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iklboo · 25/08/2018 19:27

I got fired from a condom factory for never being on time. They called me a proper Johnny Cum Lately.

afishnotabird · 25/08/2018 19:41

I tried to join a club for people with two penises, but they had too many members

Original poster
Shampaincharly · 25/08/2018 21:50

I used to sell luggage but was sacked for stealing . It was an open and shut case .

OP posts:
TornFromTheInside · 26/08/2018 19:06

I used to perform vasectomies, but it was a load of balls

Original poster
Shampaincharly · 27/08/2018 08:11

I used to be in an athletics club but they told my to take a run and jump , placed too many obstacles in my way , and said I was for the high jump .

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DrCoconut · 27/08/2018 09:46

I have two jobs going in my sandwich shop - I can't find people to fill the roles (rolls) 😂🙄

ZaZathecat · 27/08/2018 12:29

I joined UKIP. It was rascist. Oh wait... It was.

TornFromTheInside · 27/08/2018 19:10

I was offered a job working for Wrigley's - I chewed it over

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