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Original poster

“I’d have got less for life”

105 replies

Randomnumbers7483 · 22/08/2018 14:23

Can I ask you please, when you hear a couple, or more specifically the man in the couple, referring to their wedding anniversary and using this phrase “Been married 20 years now - I’d have got less for life!”, what do you interpret that as meaning?

Am having a “debate” with DH over this and we have very different understanding and interpretations of this saying. Am trying to understand which of us is correct.

OP posts:
FleeceDetective · 22/08/2018 14:25

It’s one of those humorous cliches, about marriage not being easy but ultimately a good relationship.

53rdWay · 22/08/2018 14:25

I’ve heard it as “I’d have got less for murder”. As in, har har marriage is such an awful punishment it is basically like prison.

Ohyesiam · 22/08/2018 14:26

It means
If I’d have murdered someone instead of getting married, I’d have finished my custodial sentence and be free now. Instead I am still married with no freedom in sight. I want freedom.

cockeyedoptimist · 22/08/2018 14:26

My understanding is that’s he’s comparing married life to a prison sentence ( ie unpleasant)
‘Less for life’is saying that life sentences are often less than 20years
I’ve never interpreted it to mean he wishes he’d murderd his wife if that’s what your debate is about ( but I may be wrong )

NaomiNagata · 22/08/2018 14:26

I'd take it as a joke. Life in prison in the UK is never that long; out in what, 15 years? So this is a joke like "haha, if I'd got life in prison I'd have been out by now but I'm still married!"

Original poster
Randomnumbers7483 · 22/08/2018 14:27

Argh! Sorry!! “Been married 20 years - I’d have got less for murder!” - NOT life - is what I meant to say ....

No idea what my brain was thinking about there!

OP posts:
AsAProfessionalFekko · 22/08/2018 14:28

It's an old joke. A bit like mother in law or dumb blonde jokes (should have died out years ago).

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 22/08/2018 14:28

It’s not a saying. What people say is: I’ve been married for twenty years; I’d have got less for murder (as a pp says).

The meaning of that is fairly self-evident but it’s usually tongue in cheek/light-hearted.

Not sure how the meaning of the actual phrase is unclear but I can see why you and your DH don’t understand your version of it: it doesn’t make sense!

flyingsaucersherbet · 22/08/2018 14:28

My brother and sil say this all the time. It’s a harmless joke in their case about how prison would have been an easier option than marriage. It’s utterly in jest though, and very much tongue in cheek.

PrefabSprouts · 22/08/2018 14:29

I think it just means marriage is like a life sentence.

I've heard more women than men say it though. Obviously there's a very negative connotation, but it's always said in jest. A 'people who really mean it wouldn't say it' sort thing.

NaomiNagata · 22/08/2018 14:29

Still means the same thing.

Murder someone - out in a few years.
Married - still in it 20 years later.

What's so difficult about that? How else can it be interpreted?

RCOR · 22/08/2018 14:29

I've only heard the phrase as "I'd have got life for less". Meaning life sentence. I would take it to be a derogatory term. As in the marriage was a life sentence.

Original poster
Randomnumbers7483 · 22/08/2018 14:30

Right - so would you take it as meaning he is happily married and having a joke or that he regrets getting married and sees it as a punishment and having ruined his life?

OP posts:
CiderwithBuda · 22/08/2018 14:30

Not just men who say it either! I do and my mum did.

Now I tend to say I could never leave him as I would hate to see him that happy. And that level of excitement wouldn’t be good for a man of his age.

I love him really.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 22/08/2018 14:30

We say this sometimes, we mean it in a lighthearrted way. We always take the piss out of each other though, so it isn't a loaded phrase. I can see how with different personalities or dynamics it could sound less jocular and more derogatory.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/08/2018 14:31

Oh it's ridiculous. It's trotted out by one or both of a boring couple who have been together a while and need to pretend to have some justification for that. It's pointless. Nobody cares. I always think that they're well-suited as nobody else would want either one of them.

People do talk such shit they don't mean. Pointless

Iknowwhoyouare123 · 22/08/2018 14:32

I'd see it as a joke.

FleeceDetective · 22/08/2018 14:32

It tends to be said by People who are happily married but understand it isn’t plain sailing.

If you really meant it you wouldn’t say it, you’d be divorced.

NaomiNagata · 22/08/2018 14:32

Unless it's being said whilst begging your partner for a divorce then it's a joke.

LethalLola · 22/08/2018 14:33

It's the most unfunny joke middle aged people with no personality or humour make.

I wouldn't take it to mean the person unhappy- it's just a shit shit joke people make all the time. I don't think people ever actually mean it as a comment on their marriage.

CiderwithBuda · 22/08/2018 14:33

I see it as happily married and having a joke. Although my mum used to say it......... not overly happy. I think people just try to make other people laugh really.

LethalLola · 22/08/2018 14:34

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe you worded it so much better than me

GooodMythicalMorning · 22/08/2018 14:34

Its a joke

Aragog · 22/08/2018 14:34

Right - so would you take it as meaning he is happily married and having a joke or that he regrets getting married and sees it as a punishment and having ruined his life?

Only time I've ever heard men or women (and have heard both saying it on several occasions over the years) say it has been in jest, and have had a loving married relationship.

blueskiesandforests · 22/08/2018 14:35

It's one of those unfunny "jokes" that some people feel compelled to make - either insecure people who make jokes when they're nervous, or smarmy people who feel better about themselves if they put others down and if called out defend all their slightly nasty jibes by claiming they were jokes or banter and claiming anyone who doesn't find them highly amusing lacks a sense of humour.

I wonder when the need to actually be funny was dropped from the definition of a joke.