“I’d have got less for life”

[Randomnumbers7483]

Can I ask you please, when you hear a couple, or more specifically the man in the couple, referring to their wedding anniversary and using this phrase “Been married 20 years now - I’d have got less for life!”, what do you interpret that as meaning?

Am having a “debate” with DH over this and we have very different understanding and interpretations of this saying. Am trying to understand which of us is correct.

LyingWitchintheWardrobe

Me and DH say it all the time. We both also say him/her indoors and THE wife/husband. It's just a joke. If either of us weren't happy we'd be divorced by now.

MirriVan, why say it to 'outsiders' at all? To one another I could understand. It's obviously to Make A Point where none needs to be made because if they deeply understand each other then why does anybody else need to be party to that?

That is my point really. This unfunny, odd sort of 'joke', parodying marriage is often at other people's expense and I don't think that's ok.

Also, many couples communicate in a series of put downs and exasperation - but not in a way where there's any abuse.

^This.

We both also say "I hate it when a bitch lets her/himself slide" when either of us complain we look/feel crap that day. (It's from the film Bad Boys).

DH and I say this sort of unfunny rubbish to each other all the time. We've been married over 30 years. The worst one is I say, 'Are we an old married couple?' And he says, 'You are!'
The winter nights just fly by.

I swear there is going to come a point where we all walk about in silence for fear of upsetting or offending people.

Sometimes there are things it’s well worth challenging/being offended by. Racism, misogyny, disablism, homophobia....the more people who speak up against them the better. But it’s hard to separate what is important from the unimportant and it’s all just noise.

MirriVan, because it's not a very nice comment, on the face of it perhaps?

My experience is that some couples like to involve others (strangers) and it makes me uncomfortable when I'm targeted like that. That was my first post on the thread, know your audience.

I don't see it as disrespectful to women because it's usually my mum saying it about my dad! They have been together for 35 years and are perfectly happy, it's definitely a joke.

YeTalkShite... I think that would be quite good actually.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I’d be happy with that too.

Watch and enjoy

I've always hated that saying , particularly when it's said in front of an audience.
I'd be really hurt if my dh came out with that , hurt and confused to be honest.
We've overcome illness, infertility , bereavement and got through everything because we genuinely love each other, it's not a joke !

but it is a joke, that's the point. Just because you wouldnt make it doesn't mean other people shouldn't.

Have to agree that to be bothered about what other people say to this degree is ridiculous. Within a few years we'll all have to be silent, communicating only through simple emoticons like smiley faces and thumbs up.

I think everyone is fully aware it’s a joke. Some people just don’t find it a particularly funny joke.

It's just a joke that has been around for years, never ever heard it used otherwise.

I think everyone is fully aware it’s a joke. Some people just don’t find it a particularly funny joke

they don't though, do they? That's literally the point of the thread., that OP did not know whether it was a joke or not!

And they don't have to find it funny. I doubt anyone does.

I'm not in anyway insulted or offended by it, just very unamused. I know it's the way some people communicate, and they're free to do so, and it doesn't affect me.

IRL my late uncle has actually been the only person to make "jokes" like this, and he was a very nasty man (alcoholic, abusive, controlling - owned a shotgun and threatened to shoot his whole family etc) so that probably colours my view. On the whole I do think a lot people say exactly what they mean, when they're "joking", though (re. racist and sexist "jokes", rape "jokes" etc).