What is it like having older children?

[RosettaStoned]

Hi all,

I'm currently off work with my 2 kids. Oldest is 5, youngest is almost 3. I was supposed to go out with them today but life got in the way.

All day I've had non-stop whining and moaning from them. They fight over the same toy despite the fact they have many. They keep going out the back door into the garden then running back in the house with their muddy wellies on all over my carpet.
Youngest decided to roll my kitchen roll out on the kitchen floor. I can't sit down because when I ask them if they want anything to eat, they simultaneously say 'no'. As soon as I make something for myself they then decide they want what I'm having. So I'll make it for them only for them to end up wasting half of it

They are currently fighting over a red blanket in the front room. Ffs!!!

What is it like having older kids? Is it always going to be like this???

PS this is a light hearted thread, I adore my kids dearly and generally speaking they are very well behaved. It's just today they are grating on me

Same age gap here OP, mine are nearly 8 (DD) and 10 (DS). They still fight sometimes but also do lovely play sessions together - both really into crafty things, art and minecraft. Watching family movies we all enjoy and things like bakeoff or masterchef is the best!
It was really tough for us but I think you're about to hit the golden age.
School should help a lot in tiering them out ... I know you're not asking for parenting advice but if I'd say one thing is that routine is your friend and that at your kids' ages attention spans are NOT long. Sometimes you just have to view it as transportation time.
Everyone in bed, fed, not dead, you know? It was my mantra many days...
And ... breathe.

I love the teen years so far. I wasn’t a good enough mum to toddlers (in my own eyes) but I’m a good solid wise kind mum to teens. I hope I’m not the only one who thinks so!

It really does get better and I hope you get a cuddle and some peace soon OP

@Aprilshowersinaugust hats off to you! I'm a year younger than your oldest and I couldn't imagine starting all over again. I have three DC, 6,5 and 2. Cannot wait til they're older.

I hated having little kids I think. It's much better now there 12 and 15.

Oh, and they like to top up my wine and open daddy's beer bottles!
Handy.

Wow thanks for the replies. I'm glad to hear it does 'ease off' in some ways the older they get! After spending the day at my house with my sons, plus my brother and his 10 year old, 3 year old and two year old I can safely say I'm glad it's nearly bedtime (for the kids). I'm exhausted!

My kitchen looks like I don't know what, it's in need of a good blitz! Ahhh the joys of children.

Vanelleope you have the perfect set up 👌🏼😂

One of my colleagues had me green w envy though, her boys (13 & 15) cook twice a week. Nice dinners too.

Babies and toddlers are demanding just because they need you, and only you will do, to mediate and soothe etc. It does get easier in some ways but harder in others, as they move towards independence.

For instance, having told you for years that you know half of F* all and they know everything, as they move towards independence, you will regularly be required to answer questions like "how long do you cook a potato?"

Paddling it's bloody marvellous .

I have a 12 year old and 14 year old. They're amazing but god almighty the constant sniping at each other does my head in.

Been there, done that, ripped up the tee-shirt in frustration and despair!

Mine are 33 and 30 - it's only this year that they've stopped kicking at each other when they visit, and "looking" at each other, and calling each other names.

And yet they really LOVE each other - if I criticise one, the other leaps to their defence; they worry about each other's problems; they buy each other really thoughtful presents . . .

Somehow, somewhere, my DH and I have dome something right . . . .

When they get to about 24 and 21 they're ok, not long to go 😂

Currently on UK holiday with 13 and 15 year olds, so family of four. We have each cooked one night, washed up and cleared up one night, eaten out the other nights, it's bliss! One slammed door so far (the one thing they fall out over still is one not giving the other space). Blows over quick. Love singing along to music in the car and playing cards is hysterical.

playing cards is hysterical.

Now we live in different houses I really miss the "can't-stop-laughing-over-noyhing-at-all" times. Our tummies used to ache with laughing - but nothing really funny had happened or been said. We used to be in tears!

The school holidays become so much easier once you don't have to arrange for them to go to clubs, grandparents etc. I just leave DD in bed and get an early start at work, she lets me know if she's going out to meet friends and I can track her on my phone if I want to check where she is. She also does a few jobs like emptying the dishwasher and walking the dog.

Schaden I'm glad other siblings are daft to each other at ridiculusly old ages. DBro and I had a big argument about libertarianism of all things, when I was pregnant. I cried, he stormed off. We were 28 and 25 at the time. I cried and he stormed off. My poor DM

Oops didn't meant to post the same sentence twice. I'm rubbish at editing on my phone.

Four children, Eldest 25, youngest 12.
It gets a lot easier, I think I must have gone through the baby and toddler years in some kind of trance.

I’ve got 9,12,18 and 20yr children.

The younger two bicker a bit but it’s easier to ignore than when they were smaller and needed you to intervene more. I find them fairly easy generally at the moment. They do their own stuff but still enjoy my company.

I had a hard few years with my 18yr between 14-16, just worries about doing well at school and friendship issues, going out and not saying where etc but she’s less defensive now and I’m enjoying her company again now she’s older. The main issues with teens are the fact they are pulling away from you but still not quite mature enough to deal with certain situations. Plus needing to be a taxi to them!

I think 14-17 is likely another harder stage with some children. Small children are hard work because they need you to be fully involved in their care 24/7.

Camomila

It's ridiculous, isn't it? But the love is still there.

Better than those families which are "grown up" and then go NC over said all!

My girls are 20 and nearly 13. It's easier in a lot of respects now. I don't need to watch them to make sure they aren't trying to eat electricity or blow up the house (and believe me, we had our fair share of dramas when they were younger). I can leave youngest alone at home for an hour if I need to go out. Oldest is normally at uni, she is home for the summer and working.

Day to day, it is a lot easier. But the exam years are awful. As are dealing with friendship issues and trying to help them cope with fall outs.

Next door have two little kids, 7 and 4. They are utterly hilarious (to us) but probably drive their parents insane. He's looking at me! She's touching my plants! Mum!! he tried to kill me with a spade.

I suspect there are days when bedtime seems a long way away.

I agree with the poster upthread who said they struggled to be a Mum to toddlers but is a good Mum to teens. I'm just the same. I am loving being a Mum to teens and really feel I'm getting it right at last. I have a good relationship with them that is fun but still respectful on both sides. They are happy to spend time with me and don't seem embarrassed by me which seems to happen to lots of my friends with their teenagers