What is it like having older children?

[RosettaStoned]

Hi all,

I'm currently off work with my 2 kids. Oldest is 5, youngest is almost 3. I was supposed to go out with them today but life got in the way.

All day I've had non-stop whining and moaning from them. They fight over the same toy despite the fact they have many. They keep going out the back door into the garden then running back in the house with their muddy wellies on all over my carpet.
Youngest decided to roll my kitchen roll out on the kitchen floor. I can't sit down because when I ask them if they want anything to eat, they simultaneously say 'no'. As soon as I make something for myself they then decide they want what I'm having. So I'll make it for them only for them to end up wasting half of it

They are currently fighting over a red blanket in the front room. Ffs!!!

What is it like having older kids? Is it always going to be like this???

PS this is a light hearted thread, I adore my kids dearly and generally speaking they are very well behaved. It's just today they are grating on me

13 and 9 here. Much, much easier than when they were 5 and 2. I actually like spending time with them.

Mine are 13, 11 and 9. I love this stage. The older ones just starting their independence, off out without adult supervision. We still have lots of family time, they love board games, movies, days at theme parks etc. But they're not hard work any more.
I never understand people who put up old toddler pics on Facebook saying 'oh I wish they were still little'... really??? Buggies, nappies, snacks, taking an hour to leave the house and having to be back for nap time? Constantly watching them like a hawk, baby proofing, sleepless nights? No thanks. I love my big, independent, grunting teenage/preteen lads. We can have a laugh and they make their own lunch. And the eldest makes a great cuppa!

Dd1 is 23, dsd1 is 21, dd2 is 18, dsd2 is 18 next week.

It's absolutely the best thing.
My two have always got on, and I loved teens and older bit.
Dsds are lovely, oldest can be tricky but nothing bad.
The four of them are all off together today getting prepped for our family holiday... Eldest is 'supervising' two youngest having first Brazilian wax... The txt commentary I am getting is hysterical.
They are then going to clean house and cook dinner.. All together.
I hated young childhood bit... Boring, irrational, and just a slog.. But worth it as they turned into fab young people

I never understand people who put up old toddler pics on Facebook saying 'oh I wish they were still little'... really???

Me neither. Bugger that.

I think it's parents wishing they were younger themselves.

I only have the one DD who is 18 and just left school.
In my experience the older they are the more they need you emotionally, and the more they drag you through the mill emotionally. Oh, and they cost you a lot more.
Pros:
More independent
Can help in the house/kitchen etc
Lovely personality, no tantrums etc

Cons:
More expensive
Much, much more worrisome
Needs lifts everywhere (we are rural with poor public transport and friends aren’t local)
Friendship issues, relationship issues, bullying
Exam stress (I can’t stress how much this becomes a biggie in GCSE and A level years)

In my experience the primary school years were the easiest.

That's lovely @HolyMountain - I'm going to nick that when mine get older about not keeping secrets.

Ahhh I can't wait til mine can make me a decent cup of tea @Flyingpompom

8 and 11 boys and they play together, odd skirmish but generally I hardly see them at home! They're good company and make me tea and sometimes breakfast in bed if they are after something

The worry doesn't go away, elder son going to secondary school and I'm terrified about that, friendship issues and bullying cause heartache and doing it single handed is exhausting emotionally... But it's better than the younger ages and stages, although I quite liked having two under ten once they were both at school!

@redjellybean, that's brilliant! 😂 both mine are boys so I will probably never know what it's like with daughters but the Brazilian thing did make me laugh!

This is very encouraging! I have two DC, 2.3 years and five months.. Don't get me wrong, I love them unconditionally, but it is hard... And boring a lot of the time, although they do have their entertaining moments.. I was never a particularly broody, soppy over babies person and it was more the yearning for a family rather than a baby that made me want to TTC. I can't wait to be able to just enjoy spending time with them, without having to do everything for them. Oh and sleep.

Thanks for posting about your day RosettaStoned, you’ve given me a good laugh. Mine are 6 and 3 and I’m currently hiding upstairs for a break. Constant bickering and fighting and asking me for things.

Went to the supermarket earlier and the 3yo didn’t walk to walk OR be carried across the car park. Fuck knows what he did want. I just shoved him in the trolley and ignored the screams.

6yo can’t play by herself. 3yo busy with duplo but with her I get: “Shall I make you a cake Mummy? Do you want a big cake or a small cake Mummy? Or maybe an ice cream Mummy? Would you like a cone or a cup Mummy? Which colour Mummy? I’m doing a raffle Mummy. Here’s your ticket Mummy. Come and collect your prize Mummy!”

Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

I wish she could occupy herself and leave me out of it. I’d barely got halfway through my cup of morning coffee.

Went to the supermarket earlier and the 3yo didn’t walk to walk OR be carried across the car park. Fuck knows what he did want. I just shoved him in the trolley and ignored the screams.

Oh my word, THIS is my life with soon to be 3-yo!!! He hates sitting in the trolley and soon makes up his mind that he would rather walk once I've put him in

I get annoyed with 'they're growing up too fast'.

No they're sodding not! Get fucking on with it.

😂😂😂 DemocracyDiesInDarkness

I only have one so can't comment on the sibling arguments thing. But my DD is 11yo. She's currently in the kitchen helping DH to prep dinner. She goes out on her own to meet friends. I can drop her and a friend at the cinema while I go shopping if I don't part want to see the film. She doesn't need help to bath. She can make a decent cup of tea. It definitely gets better!

There is also friendship stress and social media stress and stress about what is acceptable to wear/say/do so its not all plain sailing but on the whole its fabulous and I finally feel like I'm getting a bit of my life back again. We can watch stuff together on the TV and she has a very good sense of humour etc etc.

Democracy... I couldn't agree more... Would like my girls to stop now though

My boys are now curled up on the sofa next to each other under the red blanket they were fighting over earlier and watching Fireman Sam.

Bliss!

I reckon the best bit is between 5-10, still young enough for cuddles, excitement for trips/friends/Xmas and primary school is pretty chilled. I’ve got a 16 and 18 year old and I have found the teen years pretty challenging (in a different way) to the pre school years. The bonus is definitely getting more freedom to do our own stuff again.

I could have written this thread. Ffs I just want 5 minutes to have my own thoughts and not to discuss the type of dog you'll get when you're grown up (because I'm too mean to provide it now).

What is it like having older children?

It's heaven (most of the time). It's much more civilised.

Eldest is 10, youngest is 3. 3 year old is literally just coming out of the terrible twos and being a pain in the arse.

I find once they start school it gets way easier, they do come with new worries and issues and I've yet to hit the teens, but the 10 year old is pretty easy going, helpful, good company, independent.

Eldest 24 youngest 12.Every stage is better than the last

Rosetta DiddyDragon is a girl and she's starting to get the teenage mood swings, sulks, volcanic rage and weepiness. In some ways she's still so young and innocent, but her body is changing and making life harder.

In terms of complex friendships, she's got a frenemy at school who she's finally seen through & is upset at the way she's been treated. Theres no way to avoid said child though as it's a small school. She's worried about going back and has asked me to go to speak to her new class teacher as soon as term starts.

She does make a bloody good brew though now that she's tall enough to reach the kettle safely.

And DiddyCakes (DS7) likes to sort laundry and cook with DH.

There are definite compensations to older children. And I never have to sit through another episode of Everything's Rosie ever again.

I am looking forward to having a grown up daughter. Right now she's a pain in the bum! 2 year olds should run for parliament!

My 9 and 7 year old are brilliant. Have been since they were 5 and 7. Best friends, thoughtful , funny, engaging children. They know how to behave, know how to share and compromise. Listening to them play together, talk together and even on occasion, plot together (memorably a conversation on how to clean up the spilt milk without me finding out- they delegated roles and worked together to clean up, hide the evidence and distract me whilst this went on ) is my favourite part of parenting.

I know all children are different and you never know if they are going to be close etc- but if I were to have more children I'd have to have another two - they mark such good company for each other. I can't entertain a child all day everyday

Ah yes, social media.