What is it like having older children?

[RosettaStoned]

Hi all,

I'm currently off work with my 2 kids. Oldest is 5, youngest is almost 3. I was supposed to go out with them today but life got in the way.

All day I've had non-stop whining and moaning from them. They fight over the same toy despite the fact they have many. They keep going out the back door into the garden then running back in the house with their muddy wellies on all over my carpet.
Youngest decided to roll my kitchen roll out on the kitchen floor. I can't sit down because when I ask them if they want anything to eat, they simultaneously say 'no'. As soon as I make something for myself they then decide they want what I'm having. So I'll make it for them only for them to end up wasting half of it

They are currently fighting over a red blanket in the front room. Ffs!!!

What is it like having older kids? Is it always going to be like this???

PS this is a light hearted thread, I adore my kids dearly and generally speaking they are very well behaved. It's just today they are grating on me

Ah I get you @DMCWelshCakes. I've got all this to look forward to.

@sayinggoodbye that is genius! That's exactly the sort of thing me and my brother would have done as kids

Muddy wellies turn into very muddy rugby kit for the whole team dropped on the floor.
Then sailing gear and wetsuits are left dripping in the kitchen.
No school run but frantic calls to drop off musical instruments, rugby kit, money.
The fridge empties as it is filled from the car.
Then one decides to cook - which doesn’t mean supper it means fairy cake batter all over the kitchen ceiling and a mountain of washing up.
It’s great fun.

Every age has its different challenges and stresses - the teenage years can be emotionally draining, all the angst about what choices to be made for the future, all the worries about driving/friendships/alcohol or worse.

Yes, it's easier in that they don't need 24 hour looking after but I still think these are the more stressful years.

Although I know my 85+ year old parents still worry about their children, all in their 50s .

Being a parent is tough - whatever age your Dc are.

"Yes, it's easier in that they don't need 24 hour looking after but I still think these are the more stressful years."

That has certainly been my experience Ragwort

Argh reading the last two replies. Does it get easier when they move out?

I won't know until next year as DD is taking a gap year.

It may be easier for you as they are boys. Girls can be so bitchy.

I have teenagers and a 20 year old and I love them dearly. They are funny and exciting to spend time with. I think they are great friends and I enjoy spending time with them.
I know if you asked them they wouldn’t say the same - I am just an old lady they live with who gives them money for McDonald’s and taxi’s them around

I will add that the constant worry isn’t good - drugs, going in boys cars, pregnancy, where they are and million more things are in my head all the time (but that’s just my anxious side)

Ds 11 and dd 8, it's much easier now we just get up and go, they can wash shower fed and load the dishwasher clean up after themselves. I just have to designate who's doing what.
Ds has always been laid back and he's still easy going, but we have a laugh together and it's great now he's a bit older as well watch a film together usually older ones and he gets all of the jokes.
Dd has always been hard work but is mellowing and is just generally good company.
Together they usually get along, with the occasional get out of my space. But they play together and are protective of each other.
It seems a million years ago that they were 4 and 7 and a lot harder to entertain and do things with.
It does get easier in many ways but im now onto the next phase with ds so am fully prepared for hormones to kick in!

Mine are all in their 20s. Great company and the teen years are a distant memory. At this present moment the 3 of them are out of the country, travelling separately in various parts of the world. But only on holidays. Great to hear their adventures and meet all their friends. But you do need to have your own life as they are constantly doing their own thing which is only to be expected.

This thread is half reassuring, half terrifying! I have 2 as well, 5 and 3 so am in the same stage as you OP and it's so hard some days. Mine fight like cat and dog but yet won't leave each other alone! Parenting is still very intense right now but I get occasional glimpses of calm on the horizon!

easy hang in there 😁

Mine are 9 and 6. I find these great ages-they still want to do stuff with me but can be independent if necessary.

We just got back from a perfect (well, as perfect as you can get with the usual sibling bickering) camping holiday. They found friends to play with for much of the day but enjoyed going for walks, bike rides etc. With us in between. They played until it got dark and then fell asleep immediately and slept until 8/9 in the morning.
I love that little things are still exciting to them but they are able to do things which are genuinely fun for the adults too.

Mine are 11 and 13. I have to be honest, I hated the pre school years as it was relentless but its now much easier. Today DH and I have had a lie in whilst the girls go downstairs. This afternoon we left them at home for a few hours whilst we went to a flooring shop and had a coffee together. The slowly developing feeling of freedom is great as I think that's what I miss most. The downsides are the constant arguing and sniping and the eldest has turned into a teen overnight and constantly rolling eyes and answering back and we don't have evenings to ourselves as they are often up till 10. It gets better OP but make the most of them whilst they're little as I do miss the cuddles and love and long evenings with them in bed.

I also miss them wanting to do stuff with us. The eldest particularly is pretty much impossible to please when it comes to day trips. We've hardly done any this summer. But then when I think back they normally ended in a family argument .

I was thinking how much I missed the park yesterday when I remembered long wet days stood pushing a swing wishing I was elsewhere. Rose tinted glasses and all that.

It's so true it goes in a flash. The weirdest thing about having older children is the nagging feeling of them soon being gone. It's all coming round so quickly whereas it feels like 5 minutes ago that we were making up bottles and changing nappies and leaving home was way off. Dd1 is 14 in October. We may only have a few more family holidays and she'll be driving in little more than 3 years. I can be terribly sentimental so made the decision to look forward. So things I look forward to in the coming years is developing a good relationship with them as adults, having my life back, having more disposable income and being able to just leave my house with cajoling them to put shoes on etc.

Bloody amazing. I'm currently away with my 16 year old DS and his friend.

We go out on afternoon trips to places we all like then they piss off for the evening and sleep till 1pm.

What's not to love !

2 girls 18 months apart. As young children they generally got on well together with the odd competitive spat when one felt they were treated worse than the other. As teens they had a love/hate, mainly hate relationship where they mostly resented the other. Different characters with one laid back and fairly chilled and the other quite sensitive and a bit of a perfectionist. As adults now they have different lifestyles but both lovely.

Things that helped growing up was never compare them to each other or force them together. Eventually they found their own way of making their relationship work. We still spend a lot of time together on family holidays etc.

Brilliant! Mine are 17 and 18. They’re good company, you can have proper conversations with them. They help around the house. They see things that need to be done rather than having to be told everything. Proper sense of humor! They’ve almost got their licenses so will be driving themselves soon. They’re handy for heavy lifting and opening jars. They’ve outgrown the selfish stage. They get along with each other really well, but they always have. My husband and I really enjoy spending time with them.

Dd is almost 17. She hurt my feelings in the car this morning and slammed the door ridiculously hard when she got out. This evening she gave me a big hug and cuddle and told me she loved me.

I can't fucking keep up!

Ah yes Doublenegativepanda the emotional rollercoaster! Completely draining. My 15 year old told me yesterday around 11am that she hates me, that compared to all her friends' mother's I am the most horrible, unfair, unnecessarily strict, unfeeling person on the planet (this was because we couldn't organise some travel
arrangements to her unique specification) and by 4pm we were both sticking our tongues out at one another, laughing hysterically, and having a water fight!

Meant to say, I can't keep up either!

spread I thought I was the most horrible, meanest, strictest mum around .

I've said this before in mumsnet but if our DHs/DPs spoke to us the way some teenagers speak to their parents we wouldn't put up with so why do we have to accept such disrespectful treatment from teenagers and call it 'hormones'.

One of the most irritating aspects is that teenagers can be incredibly charming, helpful and polite to everyone outside their family but then you are meant to accept it with the sort of comments 'well you wouldn't want him to be rude outside the home'. No, of course not but I can manage to be polite and respectful both inside and outside my home.