Seriously tacky and grim...

[TornFromTheInside]

Inspired by a thread about hygiene - carpets in kitchens and toilets, I thought it could be interesting to recall some of the diabolical tat from the past.

Don't be such a wuss, Claw. Remember, lunch is for wimps. Channel your inner Gordon Gekko.

You just need to make sure that you run past irritating 5 yr old flower girl and douse her in your flames. It's multi-tasking for idiots here. Why am I even having to tell you this stuff? It's BASIC!

mmm flake

We had a wall mounted can opener. I can't remember the exact on or I'd post a pic.

haha that's a classic
I'd forgotten all about those

I give you... cheesier than cheese itself... the classic cheesegrating thingie

Did anyone else have this lot hiding in a kitchen cupboard?

Torn

Keep did you get my PM? My 4G's being an arse.

The cheese grater's proper name is a "Mooli grater". That's not the correct spelling but I've written it like that so you lot know how to pronounce it!

Righto flower girl extraordinaire has had enough of not being the centre of attention. She is stropping and whinging. But of course her adoring mother cannot actually see reality and thinks she's an angel.

Or perhaps has drunk too much free booze and can't be arsed dealing with her.

Is it not time for the embarrassing speeches?

And I was never allowed jelly shoes. But I'm not bitter, oh no not at all.

Actually Keep, the website's being an arse.

I wasn't allowed jelly shoes either. My mum said that plastic would 'draw' my feet and cause fungal infections.

Thenight your mother was probably right, plastic, without socks, made your feet sweat!

Torn green legs. Reminded me of this m.youtube.com/watch?v=gAFIt9FkwVo

keep I forgot to mention my windmill arms, when running! I’d probably knock a few guests out too! m.youtube.com/watch?v=W-IVhJLD0sQ

Those jelly shoes were rubbish.
They never quite fitted in the pan, in made a pigs ear of my trifle.

I’m not even going to ask where you got the ladies fingers from!

Mr Ben... unassuming, avuncular gentleman going about his countless different jobs by day...

But by night... A giant voyeur with a penchant for ladies in baths.
Mr Homepride... the master baker (at least I think that's what he said)

Rising to the occasion !

Oh my that is seriously creepy, put me right off my toast!

When I was a child, I really did think they were the same person.

hang on a minute.... I've just thought of these things that my mother kept finding in a cupboard and adding to mine and my sister's stockings for about 4 years on the trot... Let me see if I can find a pic...

THESE! somehow they look even worse than I remembered. I don't know why/how my mother had ended up with so many boxes and boxes of them tbh.

Top of The Pops was cover versions? 😱 i actually had Top Of The Tots.

In my kitchen drawer. I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw one at a Pampered Chef party .