Who's the weirdo here? Him or me?

[HelpfulHermione]

I greet my family, friends and acquaintances with varying degrees of hugs and kisses. Real kisses and big squeezes for family and BFFs; genuine hugs and air kisses for other friends, hand on shoulder and air cheek kiss for acquaintances.

I say this is NORMAL

Friend says it's WEIRD and is because I'm posh (I'm not) or because I live in an inbred sort of county (I do, but I'm not!).

Friend doesn't kiss or hug anyone ever for any type of greeting. Which I think is really really odd.

Can MN please settle this?

I never kiss anyone except my own kids.

I'm not a very tactile person bur could just about cope with the hugging... the kisses are a bit much.

Well it's not weird for you.

But it sounds positively horrifying to me.

I am completely confused about how to greet people nowadays

BTW literally every single person I know does what I do.

I don't know anyone (apart from friend) who doesn't hug / kiss people hello and goodbye.

So if I go round my BFFs for a family meal I give her a big hug, her husband a small hug and cheek kiss. The same in reverse.

I really wish I hadn’t started with the cheek kissing business

aren't you afraid you will offend somebody ?

It is a mind field isn't Celtic?

I'm a massive hugger. Probably at times inappropriate. But I don't care.
I have one friend who literally doesn't hugs/touches anyone. If u get a hug from her then you must be having a bad day.

Lola no, because EVERYONE does it!!

I feel bad when I miss the opportunity to do a cheek kiss, and the moment passes looking like I've snubbed them!

Further details... I don't cheek kiss school mum friends at school, but it's the norm for attending children's parties

Oh god people I barely know touching me freaks me right out.

I hug my dad when he’s leaving/we’re leaving, used to do the same with Mum when she was alive.

I hug my friends if they’re upset and want a hug.

Mind you, I’m autistic and really really struggle with physical contact unless it’s DP or the kids so I’m probably not the best barometer.

I'm also autistic....

I slept with now DH before I would cuddling him. To me cuddling someone was just too intimate until we'd built up some trust. I know how illogical that sounds.

Your way certainly seems to be the norm now but certainly wasn't 20 years ago (not in UK anyway)

I have 'adapted' to the new norms and will hug/kiss friends family when greeting them if that is clearly what the other party wants or expects

I was perfectly happy not doing this for the first 25 years of my life but it seems unavoidable now so I just tend to go along with it

Neither of you ABU

I slept with now DH before I would cuddling him. To me cuddling someone was just too intimate until we'd built up some trust. I know how illogical that sounds

FWIW I get it.

If I rarely see someone and I really love them I might hug them goodbye. But it would be parents and immediate family only.

I never ever kiss. It’s gross. I don’t want someone’s herpes on my face.

I don't have herpes

That would be hell for me, I hug my immediate family, nobody else. I shuddered at the thought of all that touching! I could feel
My body trying to crawl into itself, I may have issues. That’s normal for me, your way is normal for you. Just be aware that not all people think the same way you do.

Everyone you know does it probably because they don't have a choice once you've launched yourself at them.
I'd hate it but would go along with it if someone did this to me. I'm too polite to back off.
I'm not a hugger or kisser apart from dp and my dcs.

What is the point in an air kiss? It's like saying you want to be polite but don't actually want to touch them. Feels false to me.

And do you make a noise when you do it? "Mwah!"

Oh god no. I hate this sort of thing sorry.

Cheeks touch. Kiss gets sent into the air

I'd be uncomfortable with any sort of affectionate display from an acquaintance. There's no need to be putting your face close to someone just because you recognise them. I hug and kiss family, and very rarely friends (extreme emotion moments).

Oh god, you touch their face with your face? That's not nice for lots of people, but difficult to get away from without causing upset.

I'm a kiss and a hug kind of person, I tend not to go in for bear hugs though unless it's my daughter. I'm quite brief. I have also realised I do air kisses, it's not conscious, but I do do it, I don't make contact, and a couple of times I've found myself do kiss in the cheek and realise rhe person acrually planted a sloppy one on mine and I'm a little horrified, I think "fuck (s)he actually kissed me"

My daughter is different, she gets a proper kiss and cuddle. Everyone else not really. 🤣