Who's the weirdo here? Him or me?

[HelpfulHermione]

I greet my family, friends and acquaintances with varying degrees of hugs and kisses. Real kisses and big squeezes for family and BFFs; genuine hugs and air kisses for other friends, hand on shoulder and air cheek kiss for acquaintances.

I say this is NORMAL

Friend says it's WEIRD and is because I'm posh (I'm not) or because I live in an inbred sort of county (I do, but I'm not!).

Friend doesn't kiss or hug anyone ever for any type of greeting. Which I think is really really odd.

Can MN please settle this?

Cheeks touch. Kiss gets sent into the air

Sometimes I don't even touch cheeks. I kind of mimic it. I suspect I'm slightly odd. 🤣

Air kisses are a bit weird now I think. That seems to be a phase which has (happily) died off around here.

Otherwise I don’t think either of you are weird. Some people like that kind of affection some people hate it.

Cheeks touch. Kiss gets sent into the air

Ah I would term that a “cheek bang”, and air kisses for me would be where the faves don’t touch at all. I believe Clueless gave us lots of examples of this in action.

Ok, so ‘air kiss’ wrong terminology. Think Duchess of Cambridge meeting that Ben sailing person, or Angela Merkel meeting Barack Obama. Hand on shoulder, cheeks touch. MWAH into the ear.

But for really friends it’s real hugs and real kisses.

The real reason I’m asking (feeds more drips) is this friend is of the Very Special variety. (Happen to be proper head over heels actually ). When our children meet, mine are going to think it very odd that I’m claiming to be very good friends with someone I’m not hugging and kissing. But his are going to think “WTAF?!!!” If we do.

I had no idea some people didn’t do this. I have a horrible feeling this makes me a middle class wanker.

It's not necessarily a class issue at all. Please consider it may be a personal space one.

I hate it when people do this. Some people love hugs and some of us don't. Thankfully I've never met anyone outside of my parents who have tried to kiss me. I would freak if a friend did that.

Happy doing it with immediate family but I'd really rather not with friends, if they lean in for an air kiss I'll do it but it feels really awkward, which side to go for, are they going to go for both, thankfully hardly any of my friends do it.

I don't think this is about class either. It's about the individual.

As said, as I've got older I've realised I'm quite odd, I do it, I kiss and hug, id be put out if this ritual didn't occur, but I don't acrually want anyone to be effusive about it. Other than my daughter, from everyone else I don't want a proper cuddle or a proper kiss. I'd rather you just pretended 🤣

I think personally that the rule should be that the hug loving tactile person just makes sure they aren't overstepping personal boundaries and making anyone uncomfortable. If your friends and family are happy to be hugged and kissed then there are no issues at all.

I think there's only an issue if one person is uncomfortable with it. In that case you need to respect the boundary of the person uncomfortable. It is never ok to touch anyone in a way that makes them feel awkward, doesn't matter if it's "only a hug." If you are aware that they hate it, don't do it. It's basic respect.

Well, either way, I thought everyone did it. Because everyone I know does. And I absolutely promise I am not launching myself at anyone.

I’m going to have to review my behaviour. I was only doing it because everyone else does!!

From now on it’s family and BFFs only.

mostly you'd get a Very Hard Stare from me if you tried a hug when I wasn't ready.

Nothing wrong with a big smile and a genuine "hello!" imo but as a PP said I do occasionally hug, but don't try that with me if it is a first time meeting. No thanks.

As a family we have impeccable timing for the obvious handshake for strangers

You may shake the hand, even grasp the elbow, you may not kiss the cheek!

Everyone you know does it? To this level? Really?

FWIW I’m really not an over bearing sort of person (I don’t think )

There is a lot of body language reading and over thinking involved in all this kissing.

I hug people who expect it or are kissers. Everyone else gets a smile and a hello. Not sure which I hate more - hellos or goodbyes!

Yes, Oliphant, really. My entire social circle

Oh god air kisses. It all seems very OTT to me and leaves me a bit A hi/bye and quick hug is ok with family. That's my limit. Any kissing and I'd be avoiding you. Sorry !

Ok, maybe not everyone. 80% probably

My boyfriend is going to be thrilled by this

What does your 'friend' mean about 'inbred country'? What sort of country would he mean by that? Bit rude.

I step backwards and wave at people when I say bye, in case they’re a hugger

He means the sort of county where people occasionally inbreed (Norfolk)

Yes I feared that. I'm from Norfolk too. What an offensive and outdated opinion to have.

No one's the weirdo. You're just acting outside of the norm for your group, but it would be acceptible in a different group.

I don't like being touched apart from my partner but most of my family are very touchy feely, hugs goodbye and hello. When someone tries to hug me I clam up lol hate it.

That’s quite offensive. I’m not from Norfolk, I’m not even English but that’s horrible.