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Original poster

Writing thank you cards - but what to write for the child who didn't bring a gift?

33 replies

LadyHawkeye · 05/03/2017 14:15

My son's party was yesterday and we are writing the thank you cards. One child didn't bring a gift so the thank you cards we have are not appropriate - they are pre-written "Thank you so much for my ...... ", "I love it because ...... ". I'm not sure whether to not give her one of these gift orientated thank you cards, as it would be passive aggressive, or to dig out an adult thank you card, as it would be obviously different to the rest. It's not big deal that she didn't bring a gift and I don't want to make it an issue, but I do want to send out thank you cards. Any tips?

OP posts:
titchy · 05/03/2017 14:17

Why would you give a thank you card to someone who didn't bring a present? Confused

Abraiid2 · 05/03/2017 14:17

Don't send her a card at all.

Gallavich · 05/03/2017 14:18

You don't send thank you cards to someone who didn't bring a gift. In fact thank you cards for a birthday party are really not necessary.

Original poster
LadyHawkeye · 05/03/2017 14:20

The invitations were handed out at school as we invited the while class. Thank you cards will also be handed out at school - I don't know everyone's address.

OP posts:
NapQueen · 05/03/2017 14:21

Thank you cards for a kids birthday party really arent necessary at all.

JustHavinABreak · 05/03/2017 14:21

Just a generic or blank thank you card. "Thank you for coming to my party. It was lovely to have you here...." blah blah. Ultimately the decision about not bringing a present could have been for any number of reasons, most unlikely to have been within the child's control. Don't leave the child out for something the parent did or didn't do.

Original poster
LadyHawkeye · 05/03/2017 14:21

So I don't want every child in the class to receive a card from my son except her. I don't want her or her mother to feel bad.

OP posts:
DogMama89 · 05/03/2017 14:21

Is there any way you can alter the cards you've got. Maybe print out something to stick over the top. Dear Child X thank you for coming to DCs party and spending the day with us it was lovely to see you and we all had a great time. Lots of love. Y

It's great that you're sending thank ou cards. I am assuming this child may not have been able to provide a gift. For all those previous posters saying "why would you" you thank people for so much more than material possessions don't you?!

MongerTruffle · 05/03/2017 14:22

Get a blank card and write "thank you for coming to my party".

Thank you cards aren't really necessary for a birthday party though.

Whathaveilost · 05/03/2017 14:25

Blimey, after doing kids parties over a 15 year period i have never given or recieved a thank you card!!!! Im quite glad to be honest!

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 05/03/2017 14:25

'Thank you for coming to my party, I hope that you had fun. I had a lovely time playing with all of my friends.
Love from
MiniHawkee'

senua · 05/03/2017 14:25

Thank you cards aren't really necessary for a birthday party though.

Yes they are.

senua · 05/03/2017 14:29

Can you cobble together your own card? Attach the front of the card (that everyone else is getting) to a blank and write your own message. It will then fit into the same envelope as everyone else's.

Original poster
LadyHawkeye · 05/03/2017 14:32

Thank you cards for kids parties are the norm here. I also am in favour of them anyway. Just wanting to make sure no feelings were hurt in a group setting.

I've got a spare standard A5 size thank you card, not a kid's one but it's the same size as the rest so it will blend in with the rest when they get handed out.

Thanks for the helpful advice!

OP posts:
Tottyandmarchpane1 · 05/03/2017 14:35

They really aren't necessary - the child says thank you when the gift is handed over. That should be enough. Obviously necessary if fit sent by someone you haven't seen. However (and by to derail the thread) if you are sending them then just put thanks for coming (although as the mother of the child I would find it very odd to receive one just for attending!). If they are in reception or year 1 I wouldn't bother. Child won't notice

Chinnygirl · 05/03/2017 14:53

Thank you so much for my lovely birthday party. I love it because it is so much fun to party/ play together.

ThermoScan · 05/03/2017 14:57

I wouldn't send a card unless I had received a present.
The only other way to do it is bin the cards you have and send out something saying "Thank you for coming to X party, you made his day ,everything got mixed up in the excitement so not sure who gave X what but thank you all "

Birdsbeesandtrees · 05/03/2017 15:01

I had no idea people did this.

Ive never recieved a thank you card in my life. Despite attending hundreds of kids parties as a child.

Abraiid2 · 05/03/2017 15:16

Why do you thank someone for coming to a party you have put on?

That's the wrong way round.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/03/2017 15:19

I always just put "thank you so much fir coming to my party"

Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse · 05/03/2017 15:20

Yep OP, good for you being in favour of thank you cards. My 13 yo is writing hers as we speak. It's nice that you don't want this child to be the only one not getting a thank you. And as for those saying if they didn't bring a present then they don't require a thank you, well I've never invited any child to any of my kids parties based on their buying power. A nice thank you that just says thanks for coming and celebrating with me would be lovely, but for gawds sake don't just adjust the pre written ones you've got cos that would look a bit PA. What about just a blank piece of card, your DC could do a nice picture, and a hand written msg, perfect.

gillybeanz · 05/03/2017 15:21

Blimey, could never see the point in thank you cards, just raise your dc to say thank you.
Never heard of them for children's parties.
Poor kids arms will ache after doing one for the whole class it's like a punishment Grin

MaroonPencil · 05/03/2017 15:24

Everyone sends thank you cards here. Everyone. From Reception upwards. One time I got DS to write them but failed to hand them out, I still feel the shame.

I like it because at these parties you tend to hand over the present and it goes into a pile. You don't see the child open it and you don't actually know it wasn't lost or mislaid. I don't freak out if we don't get a thank you card as I have been remiss in the past, but as I say it is very much the norm here.

OP, I would just give her a different card, thank you for coming. I can't imagine the kids are going to be comparing thank you cards. In my experience they go in the book bag and don't get opened until kids get home.

gillybeanz · 05/03/2017 15:26

Do the kids not moan about having to do it. None of mine would have wanted to write thank you cards to friends.
It would have been a huge battle, plus how do they comprehend having to do the chore when they will have already said thank you on the day.
Surely, they just go in the bin.

RatOnnaStick · 05/03/2017 15:30

Can you not just fill it in generically? "Thank you so much for my present ", "I love it because it's my favourite " or something? I don't suppose the child will know what was or was not given anyway, and the parent won't dare enquire.