Writing thank you cards - but what to write for the child who didn't bring a gift?

[LadyHawkeye]

My son's party was yesterday and we are writing the thank you cards. One child didn't bring a gift so the thank you cards we have are not appropriate - they are pre-written "Thank you so much for my ...... ", "I love it because ...... ". I'm not sure whether to not give her one of these gift orientated thank you cards, as it would be passive aggressive, or to dig out an adult thank you card, as it would be obviously different to the rest. It's not big deal that she didn't bring a gift and I don't want to make it an issue, but I do want to send out thank you cards. Any tips?

Actually lots of them are printed out gilly, so they have probably just written it once! DS writes his, but we never have that many people at a party so it is not a huge chore. I suppose if class parties are the thing and they are having to write 30 then it would be a chore.

Anyway, it's obviously another of those things where if you are at a school where it isn't done it sounds like madness and if you are at a school/ in an area where it is done, it seems normal!

Yy gilly

I only make mine do it as everyone on MN seems to expect it.

For some reason welcoming your friends to a party, saying thank you as they hand you their presents.

And thanking everyone for coming etc as they leave and you hand them their party bags for some reason it is the enough.

Thank you cards more Landfill items written in unicorn blood accompanied with multiple texts to everyone after said party seems to be the only acceptable way

I was made to sit and write thank you cards as a child. My hand did ache but I feel it has instilled a sense of gratitude in me. Not that I'm saying that those who don't send them aren't grateful but it's my way of making super sure the gifting party knows. These days when times are busy it's sometimes easier to thank everyone publicly for coming/gifts/cards/messages on Facebook etc.

Thanks op for thread as need to send out thank you cards for DD 1st birthday presents

It's just something I have never experienced with my dc eldest 25 and when I was a child, I'm 50.
I can see how it has benefit to the person receiving it now. It makes sure you have acknowledged thanks, just in case one falls through the net, and isn't thanked personally.
I don't think it's a bad thing to do, was just looking at it from the pov as not beneficial to birthday child as they should already know/ be learning about gratitude.
My parents always made sure we thanked people though and I did with our dc.

I am very strict about 'thank you letters' but never for childrens' parties where the gift has been handed over .

I make my DS (now 16 ) write thank you letters to friends and family who send gifts cheques in the post as we rarely see family on the day - but if he is handed a present by someone and thanks them properly then I wouldn't expect him to write.

My DCs usually do very short thank you cards as I think everything else gets laid on for my DCs parties by me and DH and tbh now they are 8 & 11 it's not much to ask them to do especially as many children's parents share lifts to and from the parties so it's not possible to thank the parents as well as the children at the time.
A few years back we had a similar situation when one child didn't bring a present for an exceedingly good reason- we were just in awe of the parent for managing to bring her at all after a sudden devastating occurrence. Because (in the same way as OP) we didn't want the child to be the only one in the class not to get a card we just wrote one saying 'Thank you for coming to my party, it was lovely to see you and it was fun to play with everyone'

There is a difference between thanking people for bringing you a present, which of course you thank them for, and just coming to your party without a present.

It's the latter scenario which baffles me, not the former.

Thank you cards are lovely although agree I've never ever seen them for children's parties! But good on you and good for your children. For all those who think they are only appropriate if there is a gift, I assume you'd prefer guests mailed their gifts and didn't actually turn up as that is apparently the main point?