Jump through hoops for a school place

[Seulgi]

DD is 2, we live near two schools, one is an Outstanding Catholic school and the other was an Outstanding State school until it was downgraded to Good a few years back and then in June was given a Satisfactory, we moved into the area 7 years ago and the Outstanding State school was a contributing factor to that.

It's quite shocking how much has changed with it. The other Outstanding/Good schools are oversubscribed, I doubt we'll get in on distance alone.

The catholic school is right on our doorstep, I was looking at their requirements online and priority is given to:

Baptised Catholic children who are resident in the parish and whose parents attend church once in a fortnight for 24 months.

Baptised Catholic children who are resident in the parish and whose practice is supported by a priest’s reference

So this all means DH or I will have to attend Church at least once every 2 weeks, get DD baptised and then have her come to church or attend Sunday school and then make sure a priest ticks it all off.

We're atheist, I haven't set foot in a church in 20 odd years and I can't imagine attending for 2 years. We'd most likely stop attending at the first opportunity. We don't mind getting DD baptised, it won't mean anything to us though, it'd just be her getting some water chucked on her, no offence intended.

DH is heavily leaning towards sending her to the satisfactory school but I can't decide.

Is a good school place worth all the fuss? We'll she be able to do as well in the satisfactory school with support at home, or would you just put up with it and attend for 2 years?

Ok thanks titchy that makes sense now.

Just out of curiosity, I had a look at our local Catholic school and several out of parish (but same LEA) and for criteria they list the usual - baptised Catholic children, siblings, etc. Nothing about attendance except for mentioning that you need a SIF form. I'll dig one out to see what that says.

Yes, we were really surprised by the numbers of people but we are in a large city (not suburb) with a large Polish, Nigerian and Irish communities living in close proximity. It is also a v. Popular church, stunning architecturally, i think a lot of people are out of parish but still in the neighbourhood ifswm.

The church is massive. If you sit in the back you can barely see the altar.

I couldn't explain this to my child; and I couldn't respect myself, either.

I completely agree that state-funded schools should not be entitled to discriminate on the basis of baptism and/or religious attendance. I take the argument that you can't complain if non-religious parents go through these motions, if schools are allowed to set these entry criteria.

But. But. On a personal level, I would feel a total shit turning up to the church and pretending to the clergy that we were finding faith. I don't care how nonsensical you regard the beliefs or the institution, I think that's a shitty way to behave. I was raised an atheist, came to the (Anglican) church as an adult. The priest and curate especially have been so supportive, so welcoming - how horrible to spend 2 years lying through those sorts of interactions.

DS is 4. He doesn't come to church with me (doesn't fit my moral views on children and religion, plus it's simply more convenient and spiritually preferable to me to attend weekday Mass without him) but he's aware I go, he's interested, we talk about these things sometimes. He knows roughly what I believe, roughly what his Muslim friends believe, that the rest of his extended family don't believe - these are honest and respectful positions. I have literally no idea how I would explain to him that we as a family were going to church and only pretending to believe. Or are you suggesting you'd lie to your child too? In two years, you are going to be asked "why do we go to church?", if nothing else. What will you tell her, bearing in mind you presumably want her to grow into a kind and considerate person, and also bearing in mind that she will repeat anything you say at the most inopportune of moments?

I don't think religion should have any role in education, and the situation in Ireland is inexcusable. I suppose you're perfectly justified in speaking flippantly about religion on here. But I think spending two years lying to the priests is vile, and I just can't see a way to avoid teaching your daughter something rotten.

completely agree that state-funded schools should not be entitled to discriminate on the basis of baptism and/or religious attendance. I take the argument that you can't complain if non-religious parents go through these motions, if schools are allowed to set these entry criteria.

100% agree.

But. But. On a personal level, I would feel a total shit turning up to the church and pretending to the clergy that we were finding faith. I don't care how nonsensical you regard the beliefs or the institution, I think that's a shitty way to behave. I was raised an atheist, came to the (Anglican) church as an adult. The priest and curate especially have been so supportive, so welcoming - how horrible to spend 2 years lying through those sorts of interactions.

again, 100% agree.

It's a shitty thing to do, but this is what a completely ridiculous system drives people to. And while I would feel pretty shitty lying to people for years, I would also resent them for being "guardians" of who enters a school and who doesn't. I can't see how vicars and priests square their morals with outright discrimination, which is regarded as so abhorrent by our society that we outlaw it everywhere else. Their apparently well-tuned morals have room for disadvantaging some groups over others in school admissions.