Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

[natalie204]

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

Her choice of outfit was thoughtless and inappropriate, you rightly so pulled her up on it. It's very off hand to wear a bridal type outfit to another women's wedding.

I don't know if it's regional but in the Midlands I don't think it would be the done thing. Could future MIL throw a pastel coloured/patterned pashmina or suchlike round her shoulders to look less 'bridal'?

Iv only read your replies op but my comment is this.

So what your saying is your husbands mother has bought a wedding dress to wear to her sons wedding.

Obviously she's odd and you can't argue with weird logic like that!

Both my mother and MIL had perky white numbers with a bit of colour mixed in for my wedding. I thought they looked great -especially as they complemented the completely OTT red wedding dress I had chosen.

It's not necessarily the colour white; more that you are not trying to upstage the bride. OP, only you can know if that is the case or your MIL is simply being obtuse.

Nope. I've always been told only the bride wears white. Are you sure she's never heard that before? Hmmm

I wouldn't be bothered but then I never did get the 'you are wearing the same colour as me' thing.

as long as there isn't the Middleton risk of the bridesmaid making it clear that the bride looks like a toilet roll cover, I wouldn't worry.

and the person who got the cold shoulder from a bride over this - a 'friend' well jettisoned. Lives are available and some women badly need to get one.

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest and I wouldn't think anyone wearing white looked 'twatty'

I also think the chances of a MIL getting better mistaken for the bride are quite remote. It would be a very peculiar wedding if that was the case.

Still it's much more fun to assume the absolute worse because, I suppose, it is possible, that she is doing it to be a cow.

I cared when my sil (dh's sister) wore a lovely long white dress to our register office wedding! It still rankles all these decades later.

Well it's certainly an unusual step for a MIL to choose her wedding outfit from Monsoon's bridal wear section!

Only on Mumsnet would there be somebody trying to find a legitimate excuse to wear a white wedding dress to someone else's wedding

This is a bit like that thread where someone's mum found a rough sleeper in the thread and loads of people were suggesting taking him soup or adoption him as a surrogate son instead of calling the police to have him removed like a normal person.

In real life wearing a white wedding dress unless you are the bride is batshit attention seeking behaviour. White dress at a wedding is ok for most weddings these days if it isn't a bridal style.

Shed not thread. My phone is calibrated to Mumsnet I'm afraid

Only on Mumsnet would there be somebody trying to find a legitimate excuse to wear a white wedding dress to someone else's wedding!

How very true!

Well done Momoftwoscallywags for being the first to confess to being 'that' guest in white!

I have to admit that despite what most PPs have said, I have genuinely never heard of not wearing white as a wedding guest until reading this post today. And I've done it three times that I can recall.

As a cousin of the bride, friend of the bride and SIL of the bride and had no idea I was doing anything wrong. At SIL's one, a relative did say to me "Why are you wearing white? You're not the bride", but I thought she was just being snide (other issues), not giving me etiquette advice.

In my defence, none of the dresses were floor-length, all button-up shirt dresses (80s/90s) and all accessorised with colours; green (double jeopardy!), pink, then yellow. And apart from jeans, I practically always wore white in those days so it hopefully didn't look like I was being a bitch, but just being me. I've also worn white to a funeral where the deceased had specified "no black".

I will now have to go back to these three brides and ask if it bothered them that I wore white, although I suspect they won't even remember now, especially as they are all divorced. Will apologise if required.

An actual wedding dress is a different thing altogther OP. If she does go ahead with it then I do hope you can see the silly side of it in later years and not hold a grudge - life is too short.

I have not heard of the "no floor length rule", I would have thought that non-white maxi dresses would be ok.

Can we make more use of this etiquette topic? It doesn't get an airing on mumsnet nearly enough. Just think of all the future MILs mumsnet will have saved from accidentally turning up to their offsprings wedding in a an actual wedding dress.

You see lot of full length gowns on wedding guests these days. Personally I think it looks a bit OTT for during the day but that's just my personal taste.

I can't believe anyone would be happy at their future MIL turning up in a bridal gown to their wedding. It doesn't make the OP a bridezilla, someone needs to stop the MIL from making a complete fool of herself.

MIL could turn up in the honeymoon suite clad in nothing but a negligee and some people would find that acceptable!

When I got married, both MIL & My Mum had cream/white within their outfit, but they cleared it with me first.

MIL had a white/lightest of pink blush jacket on over a purple and white/ ligjtest of pink blush micro polka dot dress. Accessorised with purple hat & nude handbag and shoes.

Mum had a white and navy jacket over a plain navy shift dress. Navy and white accessories.

They both complimented each other and complimented my burnt orange, ivory and gold theme.

...singing "It should have been me" Squoosh.

And there would still be some fucker saying the op was being unreasonable to be at all perturbed.

I'd never heard of this until a couple of years ago, so is it a new thing??

Wouldn't bother me, everyone knows you're the bride and will be looking at you, so let your guests wear what they want.

I think it's always been a thing not to dress like a bride unless you are the bride. Forever and ever and ever.

...singing "It should have been me" Squoosh.

...singing "It should have been me" squoosh.

And there would still be some fucker saying the op was being unreasonable to be at all perturbed

Well obviously the bride would be rude to tell her MIL to fuck off because it's so easy not to realise that the bride and groom traditionally spend their wedding night together alone. After all, it is her little boy and might be her last chance to tuck him in at night. It would be churlish for a bride to deny her MIL that.

Is that the kind of bullshit explanation you were looking for?