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Original poster

Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

380 replies

natalie204 · 30/08/2016 09:49

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

OP posts:
woodhill · 30/08/2016 17:29

Most odd and inappropriate especially a long dress.

Strangely enough we were having this discussion at the weekend when dsm was wearing a white and black patterned trouser suit. She planned to wear it to my dds wedding but didn't as my df told her not to a. Wear trousers (that doesn't bother me) or b. wear white. She had never heard of this but maybe it is because wearing white is a church tradition?

GarlicMistake · 30/08/2016 17:31

GarlicMistake did you miss the part where the MIL has bought an actual wedding dress

OMG, yes I did! I thought the Monsoon bridal post was a joke!

Okaaaay ... good luck with your future extended family, OP Shock

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 30/08/2016 17:32

Even if you haven't heard about avoiding white, everyone knows that it's not ok to wear a bloody wedding dress to someone else's wedding. Literally everyone.

Interested in this thread?

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General relationships Weddings
passportmess · 30/08/2016 17:35

My own mother bought a wedding outfit which was the same colour as my white wedding dress. My dress was slim fitted so wasn't distinctly bridal. Apparently they had it in green but she wouldn't get as much wear out of it. She said when she came home with it 'oh I said to the women in the shop that there would be war when I got home' Hmm I did say that it wasn't really the done thing but she persisted and I didn't want a row. My mother has a long history of narcissistic behaviour.

CotswoldStrife · 30/08/2016 17:37

I knew about not wearing white, and I wouldn't even wear cream tbh.

Good luck for Friday, hope it goes well.

Lifegavemelemons · 30/08/2016 17:40

I don't think it's a church thing woodhill My family are pretty religious - the only family scandal involved a couple "not really married" in the eyes of my Dgm as it hadn't been in church. I had never heard the "no white or cream" rule until I read MN in my late 50's. I seem to have survived without pissing off any of my relatives ... I def wore cream to a niece's wedding, and a work colleagues .... Either I've simply been oblivious or it's not always been a universal "rule"

Wearing an actual wedding dress is a bit Blush though ....

sophiestew · 30/08/2016 17:42

Well it's certainly an unusual step for a MIL to choose her wedding outfit from Monsoon's bridal wear section!

Exactly!!!

What is she going to say when people ask her if she is also getting married? Is it a joint ceremony? Grin

Who on earth wears a wedding dress to someone elses wedding????!!!!

I say let your family have their fill OP. Hope it all goes well for you Flowers

diddl · 30/08/2016 17:46

"Well it's certainly an unusual step for a MIL to choose her wedding outfit from Monsoon's bridal wear section!"

The "don't wear white" kind of pales into insignificance by comparison!

MyNightWithMaud · 30/08/2016 17:47

Has your future MIL got Miss Havisham ishoos?

brandyandsummergloves · 30/08/2016 17:47

Aargh I'm going to a friends evening reception soon and had planned on wearing a cream knee length dress. I can't really afford a new dress (and I like this one). Will people be talking about me behind my back do you think?

VenusRising · 30/08/2016 17:54

So long as she doesn't try and elbow you out of all the photos with her own ikkle darling boy OP!

And no tongues when kissing, watch her like a hawk. Grin

Freud would indeed love this long thread! Phnear.

Moomintoes · 30/08/2016 18:01

Haha omg this is totally something that my MIL would do just to annoy me. Why would anyone wear a bridal dress to someone else's wedding? Hope you have a lovely day anyway!

BerylStreep · 30/08/2016 18:02

Naomi Campbell wore a full length white gown as a guest to a wedding.

I suppose it could be worse, Racquel Welch could have been your future MIL!

Horsegirl1 · 30/08/2016 18:04

Yanbu she is way out of line. Why anyone would wear a floor length white gown as a guest at a wedding is beyond me. Sounds like she wants the attention to be on her to be honest

Lweji · 30/08/2016 18:08

Naomi's was not a white dress. It was mainly light blue with flowers!

And in Raquel's case, someone had to be glamorous, because the bride looked positively drab!

OpenMe · 30/08/2016 18:09

Mother of the groom must be very tricky. You mustn't upstage the bride, you know mother if the bride will have gone all out and you have to look presentable next to her. At the same time, you son's wedding must be quite tough, even if you are a well adjusted, ready to let go sort love did to bits. Like your youngest going to school with knobs on and it kind if marks the end of youth, your now the next generation up iyswim. Plus everyone's looking for slights to the bride, too much and you've upstaged her but not making enough effort is wrong too.

A white gown is obviously madness but it must be hard to get it right.

LubiLooLoo · 30/08/2016 18:10

My MIL original outfit for our wedding was white, but SIL nipped that in the bud for me!

No it's not the done thing. No one wears all white but the bride! I wouldn't personally mind, but I think your MIL WOULD mind when people are commenting behind her back at the wedding!

LubiLooLoo · 30/08/2016 18:14

Maybe get someone in her side of the family to tell her!

So you don't look like the bridezilla and the blow is a little softer and less embarrassing for you both xx

TriniRedVelvet · 30/08/2016 18:23

Look here, not knowing that rule is one thing. Picking a bridal dress from the bridal range is very deliberate and passive-aggressive. I wouldn't be concerned about being rude to such a person. Let her wear it if she wants. The only one who will come off looking badly is her.

woodhill · 30/08/2016 18:36

Also hasn't she got an old face itms so it will look odd.

GarlicMistake · 30/08/2016 18:40

XH2's "close friend" wore a long, floaty white number to our wedding. Everyone did notice, and I should think she did have an agenda! Not that it mattered, she simply showed herself up for the prat she is.

I think I'd have just fallen around laughing if she'd worn an actual wedding dress.

TriniRedVelvet · 30/08/2016 18:43

And I'd be a tad concerned about what I'm marrying into.Hmm Good luck. Flowers

PenelopePitstop24 · 30/08/2016 18:57

It's a no from me - where I'm from that would be considered inappropriate. I would be confused why she'd done that if it were me

MiaowJario · 30/08/2016 18:59

She's obviously a total loon. But she has also made it totally obvious that she is a total loon. If she gives you any grief in the future, everyone who attended your wedding (or even saw the photos) will instantly know what you mean as soon as you mention anything, and what's more, they will instantly be on your side.

sleeponeday · 30/08/2016 19:54

Nobody turns up in a wedding dress to someone else's wedding by accident.

Are there other issues? There is presumably a back story to this nuttiness?

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