Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

[natalie204]

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

[MoonfaceAndSilky]

Oh well, if she does wear it at least you can look back, in years to come, and have a laugh.
Have a lovely day

[diddl]

What does your husband to be think?

"Oh you know what she's like & she doesn't mean anything by it?"

[ilovesthediff]

She is trying to look like a bride at her son's wedding.
She is going to look like a muppet.

[BertrandRussell]

If you know your family are going to be that rude, then warn them in advance not to be.

[ilovesthediff]

That said, I'd let her. My MIL is really big and insisted on wearing a short pink dress and flashed her knickers at everyone. She won't upstage you, she'll just look daft.

[HouseworkIsASin10]

She will look like Mrs Havisham and you will look gorgeous

Have a lovely wedding day!

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

It's not bridezilla expressing surprise at your MIL-to-be's choice of outfit but I would probably warn my family not to pass comment on the day. Personally I would avoid white at another person's wedding. Especially if it's ankle length. From a bridal range. If she huffs about your response ask her how many wore white to her wedding?

Goingtobeawesome that latter part of your post sounds dreadful I'm sorry.

[Crispsheets]

I find it pathetic that people get get up over this. Not really what the focus of a wedding should be, is it.

[Jinxxx]

My MIL wore white to our wedding. I did hear a lot of comments about it of the "what on earth was she thinking" variety. It would probably been better if someone had raised it earlier and persuaded her to wear something more appropriate. FWIW I actually think it's even more bad form for a guest to wear white if the bride doesn't. And it does confuse the photographer, catering staff etc, rather than fellow guests.

[herecomesthsun]

If the OP has politely commented that this is an unusual plan, that seems entirely reasonable.

If MIL wants to change the dress, she may still be able to, or she could sell it on Ebay (perhaps as a wedding dress!!)

Otherwise, just smile and let her do her own thing, OP has made the appropriate intervention, the rest is up to MIL.

[EarthboundMisfit]

I wouldn't have said anything, and it wouldn't bother me, but she'll look a tit.

[GingerbreadGingerbread]

It's only kind for someone to point out to MIL that people will make comments if she wears a wedding dress to her son's wedding (if she hasn't worked that out herself already.)

[StepAwayFromTheThesaurus]

MN is weird about weddings. I'm not sure it's precious or ridiculous for someone to be pissed off that their future MIL has bought an actual wedding dress to wear to her wedding.

I do think this is your fiancé's job to sort out. He needs to remind his mother that wedding dresses are for brides and it's really not on to buy one to wear to your son's wedding. Unless of course she wants everyone there to think she's a properly stereotypical, utterly unhinged, evil MIL...

[SirVixofVixHall]

White is not really appropriate, unless you are A. The Bride. B. A bridesmaid in a dress chosen by the bride to work with hers. C. Wearing an outfit that is only part white, eg a white jacket but coloured dress or hat.
Full length bridal white is absolutely only alright on the bride or her bridesmaids/flower girls. (My mother's smaller bridesmaids wore white, but had coloured sashes).
Cream is a grey area, depends on the outfit really, the shade of cream, and what colour the bride is wearing. I have seen a MOB look lovely in dark cream , knee length, with a little flash of colour in the hat. In fact my own MIL wore something like that to my wedding. (Jaquard cream suit, cream hat with beige-y flowers). I think for your MIL's sake, it is better to have told her, as otherwise she will get raised eyebrows or comments on the day, and will feel really silly. I do wonder what on earth she was thinking though...

[Bambambini]

Wonder if any folk going to a wedding this weekend will be looking to see if the MIL is wearing a white wedding dress.

Op - this is very identifyable- you could have outed yourself - and your sister!

[throwingpebbles]

she'll look like an idiot, but I wouldn't bother reacting if I were you. and it would be rude of your family to comment on her outfit negatively on the day. (far ruder than her outfit faux pas)

[Pisssssedofff]

I can beat this, it's unlucky to wear green to a wedding so what colour do you think my own mother rocked up in ?
We are divorced lol

[Kithulu]

LTB
Seriously run for the hills, this weirdness is only the start. There will be many more times when she will do something unfathomable and odd. It will wind you up. I have found myself thinking arranged marries are a good idea as then you know your parents would pick someone whose parents think along the same lines and can get on with

[Whathaveilost]

I can beat this, it's unlucky to wear green to a wedding so what colour do you think my own mother rocked up in ?

Since when can't you wear green to a wedding?

[RedSoloCup]

I've always been told it's v bad etiquette and I think if she wanted to wear white it would be fine if she asked the bride first and the bride was fine with it.

I don't think it matters massively though.

[Hulababy]

Okay, so its not great etiquette and most people know about it, but clearly not everyone. Is it particularly 'bride-like' or easily looks like a non-bridal outfit?

I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.

Please let your family know that comments would be inappropriate, and hopefully they won't be so rude as to comment negative to her about her.

[DailyMailPenisPieces]

Poor form to wear it, but poor form to mention it. Even worse that your family would do.

[diddl]

"Is it particularly 'bride-like' or easily looks like a non-bridal outfit?"

It's a wedding dress.

[MrsPoldark]

My mil bought her outfit about a week after we announced our engagement (which would have been exactly to engineer the attention back on her). & I thought it was hideous. I didn't say I didn't like it to her but dh got a right earful. He then managed to diplomatically suggest to her that she might need to return it if it looked ott once we'd decided what type of wedding we'd have. Needless to say she never did. I never put any wedding photos with her in on display but there are some in an album. I can laugh now but at the time I had the rage

[timelytess]

My daughter was wearing bright white for her wedding, a tailored style. I was comfortable in a cream, flowing outfit, so I bought that. Then, she chose another dress - cream and flowing. We both felt comfortable in our outfits, she looked wonderful, but people must have wondered what the hell I was thinking. We both wore cream. By accident.

My mother wore white for my wedding, and I wore cream. But my mother was a narcissist. She knew what she was doing.