Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

[natalie204]

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

[PartiallyStars]

So is it one of these?

[StopMakingMeLogOn]

I thought that white was a demonstration of wealth as much as virginity. Didn't Queen Victoria wear white and people copied it to show they could afford to spend all that money on something totally impractical, when normally dresses had to be useable for more than one occasion as they were expensive?

[buddy79]

Floor length white is definitely not the done thing for wedding guests, as that's usually the style reserved for the bride unless she instructs otherwise . But from her reaction it sounds like she may not have realised and didn't mean to offend, she's probably disappointed and embarrased. I'd do like pp said and a sort of ' I hope you weren't offended by what I said, I've just heard that usually guests don't wear white or cream, did you see anything else you liked".
A friend's mil wore a long white dress and I'm afraid she does look a bit silly in all the photos. I always heard no black, no white, not the same colour as the bridesmaids, and ideally mob gets first choice of colour, them mog should choose a different colour. Phew!!

[HoneyDragon]

The mother of the bride and guest range at Monsoon are lovely. Not one is floor length and white though. So she clearly must have purchased a bridal gown?

My MiL found a lovely outfit that was in Ivory and wasn't going to buy it until I told her not to be daft. But it was a knee length dress and jacket not a gown.

[wowowowow]

I've never heard of this before but I think it would be extremely rude of your family to mention it to your MIL on the day. Now that is tacky.

[HoneyDragon]

Partiality

My money's on the Hartley with a shrug jacket.

[Katarzyna79]

life is full of a lot of hardships this is not one of them. As a bride i wouldn't care because i would be the belle of the ball. If your family are well mannered people they shouldnt comment either.

[Proudmummytodc2]

I was brought up never to where just white to a wedding this is a big No No for me too OP.

Although I don't think my family would actually comment to someone about their outfit especially on my wedding day so it's doesn't cause friction on my day.

[PartiallyStars]

That's exactly what I thought Honey!

[Marcipex]

Is she normally a milzilla?

I don't see how she could have bought from that range without realising.
Are the Monsoon staff banned from commenting, or did they think she was the bride?

[GipsyDanger]

Highly tacky to wear white to a wedding no matter who you are. Screams of desperation. Everyone bloody well knows it's not the done thing

[GipsyDanger]

Well, apart from, the bride I suppose
But that may be desperation for another reason 😅

[Figgygal]

I can't believe quite how many people didn't think that this is an issue I thought it was just one of those in built rules of society don't wear white to a wedding but apparently not

[Ifailed]

Which is more important, getting married or what people wear to the ceremony?
If the former, good luck; hope you have a wonderful day and enjoy a long and harmonious marriage.
If the latter, you probably shouldn't be getting married.

[Whathaveilost]

life is full of a lot of hardships this is not one of them

Agreed!!

[diddl]

"She's wearing a wedding dress to someone else's wedding. I think anyone could work out that's a bit fucking odd whether they'd heard of the rule before or not."

Just that!

Can you bear to leave her to it Op?

There will be nothing but understanding when you have to go NC...

[Fayaa]

I wouldn't personally - I once attended a wedding where the guests were required to wear only white () and I felt quite uncomfortable until I got there! Wearing white to a wedding just isn't acceptable where I'm from either (the same with black though)

[MoreCakePleaseMrs]

I think she got it in the sale because I can't see it online.
I've had a cup of tea, read the comments and spoken to my sister and realised it's not going to change my wedding so even though for me I wouldn't do it and my family would consider it to be very rude (rightly or wrongly so) she can wear what she wants, if she turns up holding flowers though going to be trouble ;)
Thanks for all your comments. Like I said earlier I'm on my sisters account (hence name change) and I'm going to collect my wedding dress now! So i probably won't get round to registering for an account to reply to comments before my wedding on Friday.
Thanks again everyone x

[RockyBird]

A white floor length dress from Monsoon bridal range = a wedding dress. You future MIL is wearing a wedding dress to your wedding

I thought my mother was bad for wearing an almost identical dress to the bridesmaids (same colour and style) at my DBro/DSIL's wedding. My mother is a narc and hugely jealous of all other women, so background there.

OP I would choose an OTT wedding dress in pale pink or scarlet with mucho, mucho sparkles and crystals. Go all out.

[mydietstartsmonday]

Totally not done, what was she thinking, it is common sense & courtesy more than anything.

If she goes ahead and wears it let her just get on with it. As for your family mentioning it, if they feel that strongly then that is up to them.
She will look ridiculous.

Also will she be upstaging your mum?
(No one will upstage you)
Your mum may need to up her game on this!

[Mirandawest]

Can you link to the dress?

[MidnightAura]

Your mother in law is being totally unreasonable!

[RockyBird]

Oh you already have your dress.

All the best for Friday

Ignore your MIL and have a ball.

You're not from "A" and getting married at "MHH" by any chance are you?

[PartiallyStars]

Have a lovely wedding Cake! (and a lovely wedding cake too, I suppose!)

[AyeAmarok]

I wouldn't wear white to a wedding but I wouldn't care if someone wore white to mine. Even if it was a wedding dress.

They're only making themselves look stupid at the end of the day. And nobody should be at the wedding who might mistakenly think someone else was the bride!