Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

[natalie204]

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

[ToffeeForEveryone]

Ha just saw that it's from a bridal range! That's even more batshit.

Good luck OP :)

[Lorelei76]

Im not someone who cares much about etiquette
And even I'm thinking, no no no no!

She must know

And also, in this day and age, with so many looking years younger, of course she could be mistaken for the bride
Venue staff who haven't met anyone from the wedding party will see a woman in a floor length white gown.

If you haven't got your dress I vote for a different colour.

[NerrSnerr]

It is odd for her to wear a full length white dress, but it would be massively rude for your family to point it out to her, I doubt people will think she's the bride.

[EssentialHummus]

Here is Monsoon's bridal range.

Here is their Mother of the Bridge range which looks hideous IMO, but never mind. Not easy to mix up.

[Cherryskypie]

With so many people getting married later and second and third marriages that's very true.

[HouseworkIsASin10]

Just don't stand right next to her on the pics.
I'm wearing a coloured dress at mine, and a few of my friends have already picked the same colour. Doesn't bother me at all.

[StepAwayFromTheThesaurus]

I think that if MIL had bought a wedding dress to wear to our wedding, DH would have had a word and gotten her to take it back to exchange for something suitable. Buying an actual wedding dress is way beyond 'wearing white to a wedding'.

[notagiraffe]

My mum wore white to my brother's wedding. I tried to have a word with her about it months beforehand and she had a big sulk. I thought she looked a bit silly but no one cared, thank goodness. Far too busy having the time of their lives.

[OpenMe]

OMG, that Monsoon Mother of the bride range is hideous. AND there's several black dresses and lots of floor length ones

[StopMakingMeLogOn]

I wore a Monsoon wedding dress for my oen wedding - I would not have liked it if one of the guests turned up in one as well.

Even if you give her the benefit of the doubt regarding knowledge of the no white at weddings rule, I'm not sure how you can excuse her buying something from the bridal range. I don't think there are any circumstances where it is acceptable to wear a wedding dress to someone else's wedding, even if you are the mother of the groom!

I think you were right to mention it. If she goes ahead and wears it anyway at least she will be doing so in the full knowledge that other guests will be judging her, if not to her face then behind her back. If I was her I would prefer that not to happen.

I don't know why people would judge your family badly if they said something to her about it at your wedding. If someone was so self absorbed that they chose to wear a wedding dress to my daughter's wedding, too right I'd say something to them about it being inappropriate.

[TheNaze73]

In what parallel universe can she actually think, this is acceptable??

There's nowt funnier than folk

[Lweji]

Don't mention it to her again.

It's her choice and everyone will think she's a twat.

What does your OH think?

[user7755]

That's hilarious Freud would love it!

[ToffeeForEveryone]

Good point, what does soon to be Dh think of his mother turning up to his wedding in a bridal gown ?

[MoonfaceAndSilky]

The dress is from monsoons bridal range

That is weird - is it one of those subconscious/Freudian things that she really wants to marry her son?

Ah you beat me to it User7755

[Anotherdayanotherdollar]

Floor length white/cream would be a definite no-no for me. For a guest or a member of bridal party. "Regular" mother of the bride/groom outfits in cream are fine I think. My mum wore cream to my wedding and two of my siblings (different outfits and accessories) and looked amazing each time. I guess cream is her colour!

[SuburbanRhonda]

What does your fiancé think, OP? Does he agree that your family should raise the issue with his mother on your wedding day?

Or does he think you should focus on the fact that this is your wedding day and rise above it?

[OpenMe]

What is correct for a mother of the groom?

At my wedding both my mum and MIL worn lovely but fairly ordinary dresses of the sort that any wedding guest might wear and which they both hoped to be able to wear again. This seemed normal to me at the time.

At SIL's wedding her mother (also my MIL) had her outfit made by the same dressmaker as the bridesmaids, not the same but certainly part of a set IYSWIM. I did feel for the groom's mum as she was so obviously not part of that.

[sentia]

Freud would love it!

😂

[Soubriquet]

What is correct for mother of the bride or groom?

Any colour apart from white and black

[user7755]

Great minds think alike!

Mother of the bride outfits are normally awful. There seems to be an assumption that mothers of the bride are universally frumpy and old.

It's depressing. she's still weird though

[GingerbreadGingerbread]

She can't have not heard of that. A floor length white dress? Er no. Tell her you're worried about her welding uncomfortable on the day as people may think she's the bride so maybe she should exchange it for a more appropriate outfit? Or say "I'm so sorry you didn't know the etiquette surrounding wedding guests wearing white. I'm afraid if you wear that people will assume you are making a statement and attempting to upstage the bride. For your sake of you don't want everyone thinking you're a massive bitch MIL from hell talking about you behind your back I think it's best to wear something different to the wedding.

Then smile sweetly.

Don't ignore it it will eat away at you.

[SuburbanRhonda]

But surely, as a PP said, if you're going to be such a stickler for tradition only a virgin bride would wear white?

[LellyMcKelly]

Definitely an odd thing to wear white if you're not the bride. It gives the impression that you're trying to upstage her whether you mean it or not.