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Original poster

Unfollwed on fb- trivial I know!

39 replies

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 25/08/2016 20:12

Would you stay friends with somebody who unfollowed you on fb? I know it's pretty trivial but i'm quite hurt. I'm not one of the "huns" who post their whole lives on it. I have very few personal updates/photos up and nothing political/ethical or otherwise concerning!

I'm just a bit upset that she finds my stuff boring/uninteresting.

OP posts:

LowDudgeon · 25/08/2016 20:13

How do you know she's unfollowed you?

Whatslovegottodo · 25/08/2016 20:13

How do you know she unfollowed you? Do you mean unfriended?

PurpleDaisies · 25/08/2016 20:13

How can you tell? Maybe I'm not technologically advanced enough for the modern era...

anyoldname76 · 25/08/2016 20:18

i didnt no you could find out if someone unfollowed you, ive unfollowed loads of people

BabooshkaKate · 25/08/2016 20:25

How do you know she's unfollowed you?

AnthonyPandy · 25/08/2016 20:30

Do you mean unfriended you?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 25/08/2016 20:36

You can't tell if someone unfollows you - although if someone suddenly stops interacting with your posts or doesn't know things that you've put on Facebook, it can be a bit obvious. I'm guessing OP has found out like that, or friend has mentioned it.

FB is personal. It's up to her who she has in her feed. You might think you post infrequently and your updates are good, but she didn't want to see them for whatever reason. It could be that, innocent as they are for you, they touched a nerve for her. Facebook could have been saving them up and showing her six in a row. You might be inadvertently posting loads of annoying game updates. She might unfollow loads of people and just have a few things she really wants to see in her feed.

It really doesn't matter. Honestly. Put it out of your mind and keep your updates for when you see her in person.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 25/08/2016 20:38

I have unfollowed people because for some reason I seem to get all of their status updates and not a selection across all my friends. For example, people from work or wives of my husbands friends who I don't really know, instead of my actual friend friends. Of 200 people I probably only see updates from about 10%.
So maybe it's not that you are dull, but that there's someone else she'd rather see and she had something of a 'cull'?
How do you know she's unfollowed you? There isn't any way for people to tell us there???

LowDudgeon · 25/08/2016 20:55

There are a few people I've unfollowed because they post too much. But also there are people I do still follow but never get their posts for some reason. I drop in on all their pages from time to time to see if I've missed anything significant.

I know I've been unfollowed by some, because they used to comment but don't any more. (The On This Day page shows that up)

Not a big deal really (or just occasionally, when I'm worm-eating)

Ohb0llocks · 25/08/2016 20:59

I would give 0 fucks.

AnnaMarlowe · 25/08/2016 21:01

Why don't you just ask her in a jovial way?

No need for angst.

Original poster

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 25/08/2016 21:03

I don't know for sure that she has actually. But i've noticed over the past 2 years that she never likes/comments on any of my posts and if we've chatting about general stuff and ask if she's read x/y/z that I posted she has never seen it. Today she just mentioned that she unfollowed some other people. They would all have something in common with me.

Unfollowing is different from unfriending.it means that you're still friends but you don't see any of the other person's posts. But don't worry, the other person doesn't know.

OP posts:

100milesanhour · 25/08/2016 21:07

I honestly wouldn't even think about it.

I've been unfollowed by someone who knows both me and my husband. She follows him and not me but I really couldn't care if she followed me or not.

I have unfollowed people because it's the only way to stop the 15000 emails I receive everytime they post something or upload a picture. I do click on their pages to make sure I've not missed anything.

It's probably nothing personal.

Original poster

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 25/08/2016 21:10

I honestly don't post that much. And I don't play games or do those tests to see which of my friends is my secret partner in crime/most likely to be pregnant/murder me etc.

It's likely to have been something that has touched a nerve. But that something is my life now and I need to know if it's worth trying to salvage a relationship if she can't accept it. Hence the question, would you stay friends with this person?

OP posts:

AnnaMarlowe · 25/08/2016 21:12

I repeat. Ask her. In person.

QOD · 25/08/2016 21:12

Yes

Otherwise some of my best friends would no longer talk to me as I've unfollowed most of the minion meme posting, god loving Wallys

I still love them though

Original poster

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 25/08/2016 21:14

Ohb0llocks I would love to give 0 fucks but this relationships has cost me so much in my mental health that I need to know if I should just let it go or if it's worth salvaging She's a fab person, an absolute star. But I just don't know how much I have left to give. (Outside of my fb problems it's not so trivial!)

OP posts:

Dozyoldtwonk · 25/08/2016 21:15

I was just about to wade in with the very original "give less fucks, honestly, it'll make you feel better". But I think based on your last post, more context is needed for a relevant response, OP.

Iamworried2016 · 25/08/2016 21:16

Why don't you just delete her

PurpleDaisies · 25/08/2016 21:17

I would love to give 0 fucks but this relationships has cost me so much in my mental health that I need to know if I should just let it go or if it's worth salvaging

Read about "sunk costs"...

Original poster

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 25/08/2016 21:18

annamarlowe I may very well do that. I just don't know what to do with it if she says yes. Apart from asking her why, obviously.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 25/08/2016 21:19

Apologies pressed post by accident! The sunk costs fallacy means people carry on with bad situations for fear of wasting the energy that they've already put in to making things work, even though long term they're better ditching it and moving on.

candykane25 · 25/08/2016 21:26

FB is entirely personal.
I had someone ask me why i had defriend them. I replied that I was trying to keep FB for family photos to share with relatives and friends scattered around the world. Which is true.
But I felt it was really cheeky of the person to ask. They aren't a close friend, just an acquaintance and I shouldn't have to justify anything.

I tend to unfollow prolific posters or those who have political views I find too extreme (as in, they wind me up).

LillyInTheMoon · 25/08/2016 21:31

I'm guessing from your posts that you and the others she has unfollowed have children and she is possibly either have fertility issues or just doesn't like children. If that's the case I wouldn't be offended and would just let it go as it may be hard for her. I would also definitely try to salvage the friendship.

If I'm way off the mark then feel free to ignore this post!

Vlier · 25/08/2016 21:38

Maybe she just doesn't look on fb much? I don't and I miss tons of news. Including pregnancy scans and babypics. I just don't like fb that much anymore but once in a while I want to see the new pics. DP told me last week that someone was pissed off at me for not reacting. It is just a website people, not real life.

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