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Original poster

No one takes photos of me with my new baby

29 replies

user1459024965 · 26/03/2016 20:49

7 weeks have passed since I had my first son - I take snaps of him with others (especially daddy) all the time, but i have to ask people to take photos of me with him! Very frustrating as those lovely natural moments are always missed (especially by daddy!) Grandma (mil) constantly uploading photos to Facebook of my son with everyone but me. Am I right to be annoyed? I don't want to keep asking for photos to be taken. X

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 26/03/2016 20:53

Who have you talked too?

Presumably your husband, but if it doesn't come naturally for him to grab a camera, realistically you'll need to remind him. Does your MIL know that you'd like photos? She might be avoiding taking them of you so as not to risk offending you, some people hate their photo being taken.

You're not being unreasonable to want photos of yourself and your baby but it's unrealistic to expect people to change to remember to take them, so use the people who see already natural photographers and encourage them to photograph you too. Mention how nice the photo X took of your husband/baby to them and ask if they'll take your photo too. Flattery will get your everywhere.

Congrats on your new baby, too!

ThisWasCrownjewel · 26/03/2016 20:54

I felt the same after the birth of both my DC. I was always the photographer but I don't have any photos of either of my babies with me from the first few weeks. Perhaps mention to your DH/DM/other family members that you'd like them to take more "natural" photos of you and DS (when you're not aware they're photographing you)?

ThisWasCrownjewel · 26/03/2016 20:54

Sorry - and of course, congratulations Flowers

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HarrysMummy17 · 26/03/2016 21:03

I'm the same! Dp never takes photos. We've just celebrated my ds birthday and there are photos of him with everyone but none of me!
I have to ask dp to taken photos but then they always end up posed!

I did go for a photo shoot when ds was 6 months and got a lovely one of me with him Smile

Havalina1 · 26/03/2016 21:05

Same same!!! With both my kids this happened. You need to hand your phone over and ask them to take them.

ovenchips · 26/03/2016 21:10

No-one around you is inclined to take photos of you and your baby, but at the same time you don't want to have to ask for someone to do it. I think that's called a stalemate.

If you want to change the situation you will have to do something!

Mishaps · 26/03/2016 21:15

Just ask - if that is what you want, then say so. Those around you are not telepathic - what is stopping you?

I am the photographer in my house and we always joke that I died decades ago as there are so few photos of me!

rac89 · 26/03/2016 21:19

Yeah I do need to keep asking for them. I've asked dh many times, I guess thats the way it has to be! Glad to see others in same situation - was starting to feel as if people think I'm too ugly for photos! Haha

kaymondo · 26/03/2016 21:19

I had this with both DC. And yes, you can ask people to take pics but then you just get lots of posed pics of you and the baby, when what you want is just natural 'in the moment' pics.

I took loads of pics of DH with our SC asleep on his chest or playing when he was unawares. Would have loved similar snaps of me but it never happened, despite me mentioning a few times that it would be nice if he took more pics without having to be specifically asked.

kaymondo · 26/03/2016 21:20

DC not SC!

BertieBotts · 26/03/2016 21:23

I think this is a pretty common thing - I read a really moving article about it a few years ago.

It's only friends I know whose husbands are photographers who end up with those natural shots. I know mine wouldn't even think to. Whereas I like snapping pictures and I'm always taking them.

moreshitandnofuckingredemption · 26/03/2016 21:25

I had this.
Ultimately, you want the photos, but you want people to read your mind about taking them. You need to ask people to take them or risk not having pictures. People are generally not doing this on purpose, they're just a bit thoughtless.
YANBU though, it's a fucking PITA.

elephantfeet · 26/03/2016 21:28

Me too.
MIL comes round and takes hundreds of photos of my baby with her and her family and has never once taken one of me with him. She also requests photos of him that we have taken wearing certain things and requests that we share all our photos with her but never shares any of hers.
We don't share any photos with her now as they were ending up being sent all over the place to people we have never even met.
Whilst I would love dp to take natural photos of me and baby, it doesn't occur to him but mil constantly has her phone out snapping away and it's almost deliberate that I'm not in them.
Sorry...rant over!!

StubbleTurnips · 26/03/2016 21:31

I have this with dh, I am now a fan of the selfie Grin

I had a rather doom and gloom conversation with DH that was along the lines of 'if I'm struck down tomorrow and DD has no pictures of us together you'll regret it'. Hes a little better but he's never fussed by taking pictures, whereas I have thousands on my iCloud.

shiteforbrains · 26/03/2016 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zeddybrek · 26/03/2016 21:34

Congratulations! And same here too I'm afraid. It's all about the selfies!

ovenchips · 26/03/2016 21:36

Aye, OP maybe treat yourself to a selfie stick?Grin

rac89 · 26/03/2016 21:41

Elephantfeet - I feel your pain with the mil and deliberately not including you in photos etc. X

jeavcike · 26/03/2016 21:44

I had the same conversation with my husband Stubble.

There are no photos of me on our 1st family holiday, in fact ds actually asked why I didn't go.

More upsetting is that there are none at all of me with newborn dd until she was at least a month old because no-one thought to take any until I specifically pointed it out to dh and explained how I felt about it.

We bought our dc a camera each (a kiddizoom twist if anyone's interested - they're aimed at young children and are really good) and they take photos of anything and everything, including me. Now at least we have a blurry record of my presence at family get-togethers, holidays, day trips and general day-to-day life!

jeavcike · 26/03/2016 21:47

Oh yes, congratulations on your new baby, I forgot to say! Flowers

moreshitandnofuckingredemption · 26/03/2016 21:51

By the way, if you're planning on any more kids, it only gets worse, I've got barely any of me and newborn DD2, so get used to asking!

slebmum1 · 26/03/2016 23:04

I joke with du that if I got run over by a bus tomorrow Dcs wouldn't know what I look like. I am always in charge of the camera because I'm the o e that bothers with it!

Monkeybrain10 · 29/03/2016 23:54

I feel your pain - same happened and still does to me. I had to ask the health visitor to take a photo of me and baby at about 10 weeks because I don't think anyone had taken a photo of me and baby by then and it really upset me. as a mother no one thinks about you and how you feel. I told dp but he just got all defensive and we argued and then got the camera out when I'd been crying - great! So I'd ask strangers when you're out and about with baby! :-)

SylviaWrath · 29/03/2016 23:59

This is what selfies are for.

hazellnut56 · 15/04/2016 08:30

My husband and me have an understanding now!
I say...please can you take a picture of me with X, he takes said picture (about 10 of them so I can scroll and pick one I like !)
Men don't seem to worry so much about the precious moments that we would think to want captured just a polite reminder will do the trick! Congrats !

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