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Original poster

My friend took my child's dummy from him

125 replies

Loz1982 · 20/08/2015 17:53

Hello Ladies

I'm brand new on here but have been an obsessive lurker for a long time! And thanks to this lurking have picked up some fabulous advice on all sorts of issues. So thank you to you all!
I have a dilemma and was wondering if anyone could help me.
At the weekend we were at a friends BBQ (this friend is also DS's Godmother) and DS lost his dummy. He wasn't feeling particularly well (teething and temp) so we had arrange for in laws to pick him up after a couple of hours of socialising.
He became quite fractious for the last 20mins or so and I went to give him his dummy and it was nowhere to be seen.
Luckily I had a spare but was stumped as to where the first had gone
Turns out (I found this out this morning), my friend (his godmother) had taken it from him and hidden it in her DH's pocket and when we had gone home she told the rest of our friends what she'd done! Apparently she said "I took it from him because he doesn't need it".
I was naturally furious but DH is saying let it go...but I'm obviously not listening to him! Lol!
Any advice on how handle this is welcome!

OP posts:

Singsongsung · 20/08/2015 23:44

Cleanliness isn't an issue with dummies at all. My dd2 has several that are sterilised all the time. Can you say the same about a thumb??

Janethegirl · 20/08/2015 23:50

Obviously it's up to ddil, but I'm not doing dummies as I think they are revolting!

cityangel · 20/08/2015 23:55

So the OP has a sick child stuck the dummy in and got the Grandparents to pick the kid up - while she stayed at the BBQ? & she wonders why her so called friend removed/ hid the dummy?

When the child fell sick didn't she want to take him home, give up on the 'socialising' flakey friends etc. and let him feel Mummy closeness back home (dummy or not - her choice)

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Baconyum · 21/08/2015 00:02

Grandparents are fine to watch a teething baby! I was lucky mine was off the dummy before a year old. Was always sterilised and I'd take a few wherever we went.

More importantly why is she your friend and why on earth is she godmum???

Is she so perfect her child never cries/is in pain/gets sick?

Tell her to butt out!

Janethegirl · 21/08/2015 00:03

I never had a dummy for my dc and I'd never have one in my house.
Is that clear enough for other posters?
My dc, their choices, but not in my house!

Singsongsung · 21/08/2015 00:06

Crikey Jane, it's a dummy not a bloody gun!

Janethegirl · 21/08/2015 00:10

I think dummies are totally inappropriate. Just no way a dummy is crossing the threshold!
I consider them to be a losers choice!

passmethewineplease · 21/08/2015 00:13

Good lord what a strong opinion to hold about a dummy.

A losers choice? Care to explain that as I'm a bit confused by it.

Lurkedforever1 · 21/08/2015 00:14

Next time you see the interfering twat get her purse and phone and hide them in your dh's pocket. After she's spent hours frantically searching you can tell her next day you decided she didn't need them.
Fwiw dd had a dummy from an early age. Used in first few months in places I couldn't immediately feed her when she cried, like driving or at the checkout, after that just for sleeping or if teething/ unwell. She happily gave it up at 3. Didn't do any harm at all. Although I might have if someone had nicked it.

sleeponeday · 21/08/2015 00:17

Dummies protect against cot death.

I think the snobbery around them is trying, and more than a tad Hyacinth Bucketesque. They're a piece of moulded silicone, for heaven's sake. I'm not sure if the objection is twee discomfort with an imitation nipple, or just lower-middle anxiety about being common, but it's more than a little odd to prefer to distress a very young child than handle your own adult insecurities, IMO.

I'd be diplomatic because your social life depends upon it, but I would regard the woman in question as really not worth much effort in the future.

Janethegirl · 21/08/2015 00:18

I do not care what the current recommendations re dummies are. I think they are disgusting and they are not crossing my threshold. Simple!

Lurkedforever1 · 21/08/2015 00:20

Why a losers choice jane? You seem so reasonable and balanced so I'd love to hear your enlightened and open minded logic.

passmethewineplease · 21/08/2015 00:24

Starting to feel sorry for Janes DDIL. Can't believe you wouldn't care for your grandchild if they had a dummy. Maybe you aren't grandparent material if that statement is true.

DixieNormas · 21/08/2015 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janethegirl · 21/08/2015 00:25

Dirty filthy things, sucked by mums, then stuck in babies mouths. Just no!
I'd really prefer children to suck heir thumbs as the thumbs are unlikely to have been on the ground etc.
Just NO, NO and more NO!!

sleeponeday · 21/08/2015 00:27

In fairness, Jane's DIL may not want her to care for her baby, anyway. It wouldn't be unheard of as a preference.

Janethegirl · 21/08/2015 00:29

If my ddil was fixated on dummies, I wouldn't be interested in caring for the dgc.

DixieNormas · 21/08/2015 00:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

passmethewineplease · 21/08/2015 00:30

Okkkk then. You do realise that not every dummy using parent sucks the dummy right? [confused

Can see janes DIL on here soon

sleeponeday · 21/08/2015 00:31

DS had a dummy - I never sucked it, because my understanding was that adult oral bacteria can hasten tooth decay. They were sterilised in Milton and then given to him.

DD has never taken a dummy at all, and that's fine. I certainly wouldn't force the issue. I'd rather a dummy than her thumb, tbh, as it has no ill effects on teeth because it's outgrown as a habit, but she chose her thumb and such is life.

And babies and toddlers touch the ground and all manner of objects all the time. It's developmentally imperative that they do. You can't sterilise their thumbs, but really, germs help build immune systems in moderation, anyway.

This is a genuine question and not meant unsympathetically: do you have some issues around OCD at all? Your comments do sound a little that way. If so I do appreciate that a dummy is a genuinely challenging subject for you.

passmethewineplease · 21/08/2015 00:31

Er thumbs not on the ground? How do you think babies crawl Jane?

Janethegirl · 21/08/2015 00:36

By the time they are crawling hygiene is not so much an issue. My dd never crawled, she just walked!

Neither of my dc had a dummy and I can't see the point of them. Dirty filthy things!

Janethegirl · 21/08/2015 00:39

No it's not really a hygiene thing, it's more of a 'supports' issue. Why insist on a crutch for any dc?

passmethewineplease · 21/08/2015 00:41

The point of them is that they help soothe babies. They're obviously born with a strong sucking reflex and a dummy can help calm them. That's the point of them really. Obviously not all babies need one but some babies are incredibly erm sucky?

Oswin · 21/08/2015 00:42

I feel like your confusing dummys with something actually awful. Crack maybe? So you wouldn't want a child in your house with a dummy in.
See all the frequent posts asking weather to go nc with mil? I've got a feeling that will be your dil one day.

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