Stephen Fry and his young fiance. What. Are. You. doing Stephen?

[lyspaere]

just in here. Has he lost the plot totally.

I would (and have) batted eyelid at older man and younger woman. Even CZJ and MD 'only' had 25 years between them and that's less than SF and ES, so I think you'd be unreasonable to expect people not even to comment.

My wit and intelligence has never created a queue of men behind me, funny that!

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart, Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, Clint Eastwood and his 35+ year younger wife, Charlie Chaplin and his 35+ year younger wife, Celine Dion and her much older husband……..

I am not keen on him full stop but I think he can do what he likes in his personal life men have much younger partners all the time

The thing is, I think Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black would be on a slightly more even playing field by virtue of the fact that TD has been an internationally competing sportsperson since he was in his early teens - that would need him to have a maturity beyond his years, so I could believe the age difference is somewhat less noticeable because of that.

Also, to be completely shallow , both he and DLB are equally good-looking, so you could understand the physical attraction. There is a noticeable disparity in SF and fiancée. I can't help but feel fiancée (Eliott?) is looking at the size of SF's bank balance and contacts list more than anything else.

And leaping to yet more mahoosive conclusions based upon exactly nothing, only one of them looks thrilled to be engaged in any of the photos and it ain't the young 'un.

I think people keep saying they would bat an eyelid, regardless of the sex. I know I already have.

I remember there was a lot of publicity and speculation when Calista and Harrison first started dating.

In any case, in real life I would certainly (silently) judge such a big age gap, regardless of gender.

Older women dating much younger men come in for a lot of flack and ridicule.

The only reason the older man + much younger woman scenario doesn't get that much flack is because we're used to it; it doesn't mean people don't have a negative opinion about it. I totally agree with *lyspaere's take on it at 10:58.

Stephen Fry has a fetish preference for the very young. It does make me wonder whether this is a true meeting of minds or whether the older man is fetishising the youth and beauty of the younger, and the younger is in love with the cachet and status of a famous older partner. They barely know each other either - I think it's absurd for anyone to get married after less than 2 months together. I do think this could be the sign of a manic episode.

I remember thinking that Tom Daley's bloke was a gross old lech when that came out.
Calista flockhart was already in her late 30s I think when she got together with HF, and besides, they were both celebrities at the time anyway and far more equal that SF and boyfriend.
Celina dion's husband by some accounts is a Pervy old lech and even if he wasn't dodgy per se, I don't think their age gap was ok at all based on her youth and his position of power when they got together.

I remember being very surprised when Calista Flockhart started going out with Harrison Ford. She is only a few years older than I am and he's about my Dad's age.

Yeh, Celine Dion's husband has been her mentor since she was very young, so again, bit dodgy imo.

Yes japanesemargaret a woman dating a man a mere, say, ten years younger would get more media column inches.

I'm 40 and (if I wasn't happily married to DH!!) would happily shack up with Harrison Ford.

Yikes, rather you than me

I have to say, I get this vague sense of creeped out-ness when I look at pictures of them together. Stephen looks like Elliott's dad (and a sort of old dad at that). Elliott looks way younger than 27. They seem so mismatched, right down to how they dress.

I know it's not unusual for an older, famous, rich man to have a young trophy partner, but it doesn't make it any less icky.

It is very strange and a bit worrying. I don't have an issue with age gaps as such but 30 years is going some by anybody's standards surely. Its very sad that he has felt so lonely but it does sound like he's rushing in way too fast with this.

The photos are pretty shocking

I worry for them both!

Honestly people, if you knew a 27 year old who was planning to get married to someone 30 years their senior (after less than a year together), who has bi-polar disorder and several suicide attempts behind them, would you not at least try to counsel them against rushing into it?

Why are people trotting out the old cliche that no one would bat an eyelid about a man 30 years older than a woman?

I would! I include David Tenant, and that strange man from the DIY shows, who have caused me to raise an eyebrow over their very much younger partners.

My father was 17 years older than my stepmother and that didn't work out all that well in the end because he died when she was only 64.

One of my mum's adages was that one should never get involved with anyone more than a generation older than you, i.e. 20 years, as you'd struggle to find common ground, ref. attitudes, values.

I think that's fairly good advice and in this case, I'd be more concerned for his partner, than Mr. Fry.

Well, quite - Paul Weller's wife was on the news yesterday and I did think "What?".

Oh Paul Weller. The 7 children with 4 different women guy?

David Tennant and his wife aren't vastly different in age - I just Googled and it's 13 years.

I do think there's an extreme amount of judgment on this thread. You might not like him but if they are both happy then it is their choice. The idea that the younger guy is not happy is entirely supposition on your parts.

Stephen has had many partners in the past, and not wanted to marry any of them (as far as the media knows) so obviously this one is different.

Live and let live.

How about Hugh Hefner and his mansion full of surgically enhanced, blonde twenty somethings, yuk!
SF fiance is a year older than my son, (although he looks ten years younger than him) and if he announced he was engaged to someone who was 30 years older than him I would be worried. Regardless of their gender. Fortunately son has a GF a year younger than him.

Another live and let live vote here.
I once dated a really lovely man but my DM made such awful comments re:how ugly he was and that we were mismatched that I couldn't get over it. It poisoned our relationship and made me feel self conscious.

Dd can date whoever she wants. Regardless of how 'handsome' they are.

I'm sure everyone is live and let live; no-one is actually going to stop them getting married. But, I think it's quite an unusual set of circumstances - really big age gap and they have known each other for 2 months (afaik). So, people will have an opinion - it's allowed.

Oh do fuck off. It's non of your fucking business.

How can anybody judge this? None us actually know the people concerned.