Found fag packet in DD's (14) pocket

[Reincarnatedpig]

Dd is out at a sleepover. DH just emptied her blazer pockets to take it to the cleaners and found a packet of 10 menthol fags with 3 left. I am surprised as dd always seemed to be an anti smoker. No lighter. Slim possibility they are a friends I suppose.

What is the best way if handling this? She seems fully aware of the risks of smoking so I assume it is some peer pressure thing.

They are not a friends.

Fags are expensive. You don't just leave them about, in my experience. You look after your own fags.

My dd would be getting a bollocking.

They are not a friends. Although that's what I told my parents. Thats £4 worth of fags. Mine would also be bollocked but having been there I'm not sure what would stop me smoking.

If she seems aware of the health risks then that might not be the angle. I see kids smoking most mornings as I live near a school and I can't help but think how stupid they look. So 'try hard', holding these little cancer sticks awkwardly because they think its the grown up thing to do and puffing out with a little cough. Do you think there is any value of telling her how stupid her and her friends probably look, as well as reinforcing the health issue and punishing appropriately? I just wonder, when I see them, would they still do it if they could see how silly they look?!

Tough for you though, hope she listens.

My brother tried to tell my mother that he was collecting cigarette packets out of aesthetic interest...

Thanks. Will see what she has to say when she gets home. Imprisoned during half term with no money and only homework for company I think...

If it was my child, id kill em, they wouldn't see daylight for montha. But that is because my dad is dying from smoking and we can do nothing but watch it happen. Everyone knows my feelings on the matter.

However you know what works for her, you need to decide is it punishment, talking, shock tactics??

When I gave up smoking 5 years ago, I read someone's story about how their husband was dying, and they photographed everything, it was horrifying to look at and any time I see a box of smokes the same image comes into my head and I feel disgusted. I know she is only 14 but if she thinks she is old enough to smoke then she is old enough for the consequences.

So sorry to hear about your dad HandsoffmyGazBaz. I think the young think they are indestructible. DH was born prematurely as a result of his mum smoking in pregnancy.

i had similar but not the same.
I was cross,vERY cross ( well, stern really, not raging) and withdrew all money that i gave him directly or indirectly for a while, also told the other parent

never happened again.
I would say that teenagers need to see you as a figure of authority so avoid the friendly chat

I started smoking at that age (don't smoke now, it was just a phase). I did it to piss my parents off because they were very strict, never paid me any attention. I wanted to rebel. They were very anti smoking.

It gets worse there is an white ovoid tablet at the bottom of the packet. Doesn't look pharmaceutical and doesn't look like a sweet :(

Will take it to the chemist to be analysed.

I'd ask her, about the cigs and the tab.

This is an opportunity for you to make it clear that no conversation is out of bounds for you both.

You'll know if she's lying I think.

Well as suspected DD claims the cigs belong to a friend. She says the tablet was given to her by a friend for menstrual cramps but she couldn't swallow it. The tablet is 1.5 cm, not scored and with no pharmaceutical markings - is that possible?
Not home yet, in for a bollocking when she gets here.

Maybe put a pic of the tablet on here? Get some help identifying it?

Your DD is lying.

Why would you save a painkiller you couldn't swallow.

Medicine has markings, OP.

Sorry you are going through this

Touch the pill to the tip of your tongue. Does it taste vaguely familiar or very odd and bitter?

Cigarettes are not her friend's. Nobody who doesn't smoke carries cigarettes in their jackets.

I can't upload no access to laptop or pc - only ipad and iPhone where it
doesn't work. White tablet, 1.5 cm oval shape. Not scored and no coating (unless it came off when dd tried it as she states). No markings. Seems too big for street drug as well.

can you ask for friends mothers phone number to confirm the pill story?

Is there any chance it could be a bought-online, dodgy diet pill?

Touch it to the tip of your tongue.

Weallhavewings, why would a friends mother know anything about this?

Because if it is a legitimate pain medication, the mother will have seen it around in the house, presumably.

friends mother would know if she had pills for menstrual cramps and could describe the pill?

Then again, all legitimate pills have markings on them. And I'm not talking about pictures of doves or peace symbols [symbols]