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Original poster

Friend has produced unwashed cheque from years ago!

88 replies

sunnymum44 · 12/08/2013 11:43

Dilemma... have moved abroad and I get a text message with a photo of a cheque written by me 2 and 1/2 years ago that friend has just found and not put in to her bank. Obviously it was important for her to let me know this and she felt the need to produce evidence.....

I'm rather annoyed actually. Obviously I never realised at the time (naughty me, not reconciling my cheque book...). I had no idea what this was for so thought I had better acknowledge the text message & asked what was it for. Was for the amount of £66 for a dinner event (I didn't enjoy the event as it turns out and certainly wouldn't pay that amount for something like that again, thought agree that's irrelevant). Friend says "jokingly", she wondered why she had been short when paying for the event.... Haha, she leaves money & cheques everywhere.

Now, morally I suppose I should now pay her £66.... However, am absolutely skint having just started a new life in a new country and have literally tens of thousands of debt to pay off (will be sorted out through rental income in the UK). I am upset because whatever I say now, whether that be not responding at all ie, sticking head in sand or saying sorry I can't afford it, I will now look like the bad guy. If I had forgotten to cash a cheque which I have in the past, I would see that as totally my fault for being so stupid and certainly wouldn't chase a friend for it.

Is it right for her to obviously make me feel awkward by telling me about it. This person by the way has been dripping in money in the past, openly spending at every opportunity (I don't know current financial situation but they are mortgage free and have a well paid job as far as I know).

Has she just found it funny and wants to share it with me or does she expect the money? What would you do please?

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 12/08/2013 13:19

exactly.. which is why my response would have been along the lines of "oh, how funny, you're such a scatterbrain" or similar.

that would have left the ball in her court

cocolepew · 12/08/2013 13:19

I wouldn't offer her anything, it's her fault for not cashing it, it's a bit petty looking for money after a couple of years .

ProphetOfDoom · 12/08/2013 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tribpot · 12/08/2013 13:23

I would have offered to pay as you have, OP. But now that you have and she still hasn't acknowledged that you have, I would drop it.

I would, however, avoid cheques as a method of payment - not that you may have much choice on that if you're abroad now.

Juniperdewdropofbrandy · 12/08/2013 13:39

There's no way I'd ask a friend for the money after so long. If she does say pay it then she's mean imo.

harverina · 12/08/2013 15:20

I'm sorry but this is ridiculous. Op do not offer to pay - you gave her a cheque at the time, she didn't cash it, her loss.

Scruffey · 12/08/2013 15:25

Op you paid at the time. She didn't cash it - her problem. If I found a cheque from years ago, I'd think what a prat I was for not cashing it and would not dream of contacting the person who wrote it. She has handled this very badly and I would not have replied at all.

Bumblebee78 · 15/08/2013 23:37

Depends what you value more, the 66 quid or the friend? If you dont pay or didnt offer to pay, then it would always be a bit of a white elephant. She is obv wanting the cash from my point of view.

fuzzywuzzy · 15/08/2013 23:46

Cheques are valid for up to six years, if she banks it it will clear. Some banks reject clearing if the cheque is older than six months but it depends on the banks practice.

So be prepared for it clearing.

Doubtfuldaphne · 17/08/2013 22:59

I've found old cheques before and would never dream of cashing them after leaving it so long! It was v v rude of her to just show a picture of the cheque like that. If she needed the money that much she should've cashed it promptly.

SupermansBigRedPants · 18/08/2013 00:06

After this amount of time I'd accept it's my own fault not cashing it and maybe make a joke about it next time I saw you face to face not send a rather PA text with a photo saying 'oh I wondered why I was short' I mean wtf? If she remembers being short of money 2 and a half years ago how does she explain forgetting the cheque from the same time period

I'd be piddled off with her and usually I'm really polite about paying my share but with this I'd have waited it out.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 18/08/2013 00:16

If I were in her shoes, I'd be mortified to ask for the cash.

If she's so badly organised, it's really not your fault. I actually think it's quite bad on her part to remind you of your debt, as you had already done the right thing in attempting to repay her. It's not your fault she didn't cash the cheque.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 18/08/2013 00:19

Depends what you value more, the 66 quid or the friend?

Perhaps the "friend" could have considered that as well.

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