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Original poster

Friend has produced unwashed cheque from years ago!

88 replies

sunnymum44 · 12/08/2013 11:43

Dilemma... have moved abroad and I get a text message with a photo of a cheque written by me 2 and 1/2 years ago that friend has just found and not put in to her bank. Obviously it was important for her to let me know this and she felt the need to produce evidence.....

I'm rather annoyed actually. Obviously I never realised at the time (naughty me, not reconciling my cheque book...). I had no idea what this was for so thought I had better acknowledge the text message & asked what was it for. Was for the amount of £66 for a dinner event (I didn't enjoy the event as it turns out and certainly wouldn't pay that amount for something like that again, thought agree that's irrelevant). Friend says "jokingly", she wondered why she had been short when paying for the event.... Haha, she leaves money & cheques everywhere.

Now, morally I suppose I should now pay her £66.... However, am absolutely skint having just started a new life in a new country and have literally tens of thousands of debt to pay off (will be sorted out through rental income in the UK). I am upset because whatever I say now, whether that be not responding at all ie, sticking head in sand or saying sorry I can't afford it, I will now look like the bad guy. If I had forgotten to cash a cheque which I have in the past, I would see that as totally my fault for being so stupid and certainly wouldn't chase a friend for it.

Is it right for her to obviously make me feel awkward by telling me about it. This person by the way has been dripping in money in the past, openly spending at every opportunity (I don't know current financial situation but they are mortgage free and have a well paid job as far as I know).

Has she just found it funny and wants to share it with me or does she expect the money? What would you do please? Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
sunnymum44 · 12/08/2013 11:43

Whoops, UNCASHED cheque, not unwashed!!!!

OP posts:
Morgause · 12/08/2013 11:44

I think you should offer to pay her. She may decline but you do owe the money.

HerBigChance · 12/08/2013 11:45

I think you only have six months to cash a cheque.

I think I would offer to pay when I had it available. But I till think your friend is wrong to suggest you should pay the money now.

HerBigChance · 12/08/2013 11:46

I agree that the money is owed, but the way thr friend has approached this is very poor, IMO.

Waffling · 12/08/2013 11:46

Offer to pay.

sleepyhead · 12/08/2013 11:47

You owe her £66 pounds and need to pay her. No dilemma that I can see.

SwedishEdith · 12/08/2013 11:47

YOu need to offer to pay. Maybe explain that your're skint and send 3 cheques for £22 per month?

Trills · 12/08/2013 11:47

You do owe her £66.

But you don't have to pay it immediately.

thisisyesterday · 12/08/2013 11:47

i would "jokingly" tell her to try paying it into her account and leave it at that

GwendolineMaryLacey · 12/08/2013 11:47

Ultimately, she hasn't had the money from you for whatever reason and therefore you still owe it.

I have just found a cheque that MIL gave to DH last year when DD2 was born and in the midst of all the chaos he didn't bank it. But this wasn't money owed, it was a gift so there's no way I'd go back to her now and ask for a new cheque.

ShatnersBassoon · 12/08/2013 11:48

Tell her you'll pay when you can afford to, and make sure you do.

AuntieMaggie · 12/08/2013 11:48

I'd wait to see if she asks for the money and if so pay her back when you can afford it.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 12/08/2013 11:48

But yes, pay her when you're ready. It's her fault she doesn't have it.

thisisyesterday · 12/08/2013 11:48

i disagree that money is owed.
The OP paid her share.

what her friend did with the cheque is entirely down to her

GwendolineMaryLacey · 12/08/2013 11:50

How could she have paid her share if the cheque wasn't banked? The money was never taken so she's paid nothing.

Labootin · 12/08/2013 11:51

I thought this was to do with money laundering!

Have a couple of ancient uncashed cheques sent via post from various elderly relatives for the dc's (we live abroad they don't have separate english bank accounts sorting out conversion rates and different names would be impossible)

To be honest I've written off the money and bought them presents myself it would be shockingly rude to just ask for the money after that time.

burberryqueen · 12/08/2013 11:51

that is a bit of a dilemma....
on the one hand it is her fault for not cashing it, after all she had six months to do it, and she didn't.
two and a half years later she sends you this by text without making it clear if this is a demand for payment?
I would just ignore it for now untill she makes some explicit request.

NeverQuiteSure · 12/08/2013 11:51

I think she's possibly just seen the funny side of it and shared for that reason, but the etiquette now would be something along the lines of "oh my gosh, you're so scatty! I don't think that will cash after this time (or I've changed bank account etc) but can I send you a new one? We're really strapped at the moment, so I could send you £15 now" etc. Hopefully she'll then have the good grace to say not to worry about it.

Original poster
sunnymum44 · 12/08/2013 11:52

Crikey! Thanks everyone, I was thinking yes, you're all right, I do owe the money so I should offer to pay and brilliant to offer instalments and let her know I can't afford it. But thisisyesterday, you are absolutely right, I did pay! And it is her fault she didn't get the money.....! So, now you've made me wonder again what to do!

OP posts:
burberryqueen · 12/08/2013 11:52

i do not see that money is in fact owed.

Labootin · 12/08/2013 11:53

Re reading the OP .. Wrt to a debt owed for a night out that's a bit different .. The fact the OP didn't enjoy the evening is neither here nor there.

OP should pay

(In 2p pieces)

sleepyhead · 12/08/2013 11:53

The bank will probably honour the cheque if she just pays it in btw. Although they shouldn't, they don't generally check the date ime.

So in a way you're lucky you didn't just find out about it whe 66 quid left your account.

Original poster
sunnymum44 · 12/08/2013 11:53

NeverQuiteSure, that sounds perfect, thank you!

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 12/08/2013 11:54

ok i'll put it another way... the OP gave her friend the money.

if it was that important she'd have taken care of it and banked it.
you can't come along 2.5 YEARS later and expect someone to pay up for something that YOU forgot to cash

Wahla · 12/08/2013 11:54

You owe this money and unfortunately I think she wants it from you or she wouldn't have sent the text in the first place (I probably would have sucked it up as a reminder to be more organised, but that's me).

However, she has 'waited' this long for the cash and you are only indebted due to her negligence so if you truly can't spare this money right now then I don't think it would be unreasonable for you to tell her that settle this when you have sufficient spare funds.

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