I have a Jonathon Creek style mystery on my hands...

[notanyanymore]

Me and dp had a row, he went out. I'm sat in the study and over the noise of the computer/fan I thought I maybe heard the back door go... couple of mins, bit more banging then nothing. So I went to check. On the side in the kitchen has appeared a bottle of diet coke and a big bar of galaxy. But no sign of dp. His car is on the drive, have searched the whole house (even cupboards etc) no sign. The weird thing? Both doors are locked by keys ON THE INSIDE!!! You can't have a key in the lock on one side and lock it from the other. So, has he done a Houdini on me?....

Will he have a mobile on him? You could phone it and may hear it ringing.

Sure he's not in the loo?

tried the phone, couldn't hear it ringing and it rang out to voicemail.
No he's definately not in the loo, honestly i've even checked the airing cupboard!

Has he wrapped himself up to look like a huge bar of chocolate?

He's in the house somewhere
Or garage?
My DH is a master of this - I usually find out he was somewhere obscure in the servants' wing.
Is he in the DCs' bedroom maybe?

Have you unwrapped the Galaxy? Maybe he's in there.

Loft?
Suspended from the ceiling on wires?

Technically my front door shouldn't unlock if the key is in the back, but sometimes it does if I've tried to stop family members letting themselves in

Under the floorboards?

In the loft crafting a doll to jump out of the tv at you...

Does he have Spidey abilities? Could he be clinging onto the ceiling?

On top of the wardrobes

Under the bed

Are you sure you didn't lock the door without thinking, assuming he was in the house? Then realised he wasn't and checked the doors again iyswim?

Sit down and eat the chocolate he with magically appear

Look in your wardeobe. Does it look snowy at the back? Can you hear the faint roar of a lion?

You know you didn't think you had a cellar? Well...

maybe he got scared and clambered up the chimney.

He's come back and gone out again. The key in the door is a red herring.

Has he gone out the window?

Under the bed?

Check all the books in your bookcase. One will open a secret door.

Ooops, sorry, Goofy already said that!

nope he's not in the bottle of coke or the bar of chocolate either. the only place i haven't checked is the loft because its right outside the study door and you have to climb into it like a monkey so I definantly would have heard that, and the shed because its tiny and rammed with all sorts (including big spiders!!) so you can't get in it.
Hamwidge I think he must have gone out and managed to lock the door from the outside with my keys on the inside... except I'd deliberately taken them out when I locked the door earlier to make sure he could get in when he came back!
I'm just hope he hasn't been mysteriously vaporized when the last things I said to him where in anger and kind of mean ...

Is anything levitating?

Are there any unusual portals to the underworld open anywhere?