Blog-prompt: Extended breastfeeding bad for dads?

[KateMumsnet]

Hello

In case you hadn't seen it, we thought we'd draw your attention to this provocative piece in the New York Times, in which James Braly argues that attachment parenting - specifically extended breastfeeding - might be beneficial for children and mothers, but is Not A Good Thing for fathers.

In the process he makes some interesting assumptions about men and women, with which Amanda Marcotte takes issue in Slate. On this side of the pond, Jill Filipovic argues that, despite Braly's questionable attitude to women, there is an important discussion to be had about how to nurture the sexual side of a parental relationship.

What do you think of the New York Times piece - interesting, outrageous, irrelevant or misogynist? If it piques your interest enough to blog over the weekend, do let us know on the thread - we're keen to feature your posts.

Do also let us know here what you think of blog-prompts more generally, and any suggestions for future themes or topics - serious or silly!

Thanks

KateMumsnet

Sidling back on to let you know that we've put Things To Bake And Do's post on the Mumsnet homepage.

"We have 4 sets of friends that have done EBF with their children and frankly I dont agree with it. They a;ll stayed married so I dont think it hurt their marriages as far as I can tell but what I do think is that in all cases the children are all extremely badly behaved because the mother never says no to her children and the father has no say at all."

I think you're mixing up correlation and causation a tad. They sound like permissive parents. Someone who breastfeeds for several years may be more likely to be permissive, perhaps, but that doesn't mean breastfeeding causes permissive parenting or indeed badly behaved children. In fact, it wasn't that long ago that a study was published saying breastfed kids are statistically better behaved, if I remember correctly.

But what do I know... I'm not married and I breastfeed my babies until they want to stop.

Just as well you are not married Jemjabella. Because you would probably get divorced. Since only married couples get divorced and no co-habiting couples, this proves that wedding cause divorce

Now I've worked this out I've decided I'm against weddings.

Ihaveafeaturewall, I was exactly the same - BF for13months and didn't seem 'right' to be having a sexual relationship with DH. Poor DH, I felt bad about it. But if it was usual to see BFing in public I think I wouldn't have felt like that.
It's not comparable to pooing or peeing in public. They have hygiene issues, unpleasant smells and involve genitalia - so not the same thing at all.
Eating in public is surely a good comparison to BFing in public. The mouth is after all used and portrayed in a sexual way.

" And I'm sure when his wife sees her body described as repulsive in the New York Times and reads all about her husband fantasising about cheating on her, their sex life will greatly improve."

yes i'm sure!

he equates EBF with 'helicopter' mothering - wrong!

and makes assumptions about what all men want. wrong!

although i agree marriage does involve give and take - it doesn't involve sex just to please your DH - it doesn't involve the woman being a living wank doll - wrong

his view is limited - for most of human history EBF has been the norm. people still had more than one child. with the same father even...

if they are getting divorced - i wish his wife a generous (perhaps, punitively so) settlement.

True Kristina - best to stay living in sin

Thingstomakeanddo interesting blog post

well i may not have BF any baby much past the age of 1 ..but i don't agree there is a hard set age to stop (i think where self-weaning is the norm it is sometimes as late as 8..Chinese emperors were Bf to at least 7 as a sign of their prestige!)

i agree that you share your self with your DH (and kids) in marriage. however breastfeeding was absolutely not something i negotiated with my husband - no way! This because care of a baby is mainly done by me, therefore i call the shots. He goes to work and does whatever he does - i don't tell him how to do that!

maybe if i'd stuck at one child i'd still be BF DD1 now. it was very easy to carry on - with morning feeds and a lie-in. now that she gets up and demands breakfast we get less rest....

extended breastfeeding doesn't need to intrude on a parents relationship. I wonder if maybe that guy's wife wanted it to, knew it annoyed him, and continued, in part, to spite him...